Peyton...

Peytonsmommy · #1 January 5th, 2012, 09:19 PM

So I wanted to update here because I don't want to post on FB because of the weird side bar where everyone's friends and such can see what others are doing. I also have family that don't know how she is doing lately so don't want them to find out on FB. This will probably be a bit of a ramble so I apologize for the lack of sense this may make.

Peyton is not doing well at all, the end is close for her. She no longer eats anything, barely drinks and is hardly ever awake. The nurses that come daily feel that she only has days left but are unsure how many. She is so thin and frail and it breaks my heart to see her this way. She is so drugged to fight the pain that she doesn't rarely talk anymore just nods or shakes her head. She will sometimes get a boost of energy from somewhere and sit up and watch tv and talk for a few minutes but that is happening less and less in the last few days.

My mom is here helping me and Paige is away staying at my aunt's house. I am unsure if I want Paige to be here when Peyton passes away because she is so little and cannot understand. I also worry that if I don't have her at home that when she does come home she will be confused as to why her sister is not here anymore. This is a decision I have to make within the next few days.

I try to remember the way Peyton was back in May..happy,playing,laughing and I can't, I hope one day I will again. My beautiful little girl with the 12 inch long pigtails playing with her baby sister, this will never happen again. I am unsure how I will react when she is gone, I am to the point where I think I will feel slight relief that she will be free from pain and suffering.

I am starting to shut people out and wish I wouldn't but it is just my way to deal with it. I am a very private person and don't like upsetting people with horrible news. I do not post often here or on facebook, I often don't answer messages on facebook because I don't know what to say. I am not ignoring anyone on purpose and I am not trying to seem ungrateful for the support I recieve. I just don't know what to say or how to reply.

I'm going to stop rambling and if you made it to the end of this then you are super awesome. I just want you all to know how she is and I will keep you updated.

Perfectly~Flawed · #2 January 5th, 2012, 09:27 PM

...Oh gosh...I have no words...my heart is just breaking. I'm caring ya'll in my thoughts and I love you guys so much.
Thank you for updating us

newme08 · #3 January 5th, 2012, 09:30 PM

I am so sorry Melissa. I wish there were something I could do. Please know that we love you guys and are here whenever you need us.

I will be praying for peace and comfort for Peyton and your family.

sunshyne57 · #4 January 5th, 2012, 09:31 PM

Melissa, you don't have to worry about not responding to people. I'm sure everyone understands. You are dealing with this the best that you can, and that is perfectly okay.

It kills me to read this. I really don't know what to say, except that you know that I am always here for you guys and always will be. Whenever you are ready of course.

Thank you for taking time out to update all of us.

laisydaisymama · #5 January 5th, 2012, 09:56 PM

I was just about to text you and I saw this shared. I love you hun. I wish I could be there to hug you right now.....

LisaS · #6 January 5th, 2012, 09:57 PM

It breaks my heart to read this. I'm so sorry for what you guys are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you in this difficult time.

sunshine411 · #7 January 5th, 2012, 09:57 PM

I wish I knew what to say but I don't. I do know that you should never apologize to us for not responding, being angry or sad, or whatever you are feeling. You need to do what is best for you and your family, not for us or anyone else.

It kills me to hear how quickly things have changed for her. I can't imagine being in your shoes. Please know that my heart breaks for your family and for little Peyton daily. We are here anytime you need to vent, talk, cry, laugh, scream, yell, whatever. Do it and know we are waiting with open arms.

You are all in my thoughts and thank you for taking the time to update us.

navywifey2003 · #8 January 5th, 2012, 10:02 PM

Oh Melissa, I am so sorry! I wish I had the words but I have nothing. I love you and Peyton praying always.

MamaLacey · #9 January 5th, 2012, 10:19 PM

Breaks my heart to hear that she's not doing well. I wish there were something I could do to make things better so ya'll weren't going through this right now. Don't feel bad for not responding, etc. If people care about you they will still be around when you need them the most! I will continue to keep you all in my thoughts & prayers. ((Hugs))

R&Lsmama · #10 January 5th, 2012, 10:50 PM

Stopping by From the aug 2011 pr:

I have so many ts and ps for Peyton and you. It breaks my heart to know you are going through this. We are all thinking of your beautiful little girl. I'm so sorry!

amandasue · #11 January 6th, 2012, 12:03 AM

I am so sorry. This breaks my heart. I could not imagine what you are going through. I am praying for Peyton and your family.

Madison.N.Hailey'sMom · #12 January 6th, 2012, 02:03 AM

I am so sorry hon. I honestly don't know what to say. I remember those days with my grandma. It was heart breaking knowing she was slipping away. Just know we are all here for you when you need us. So many hugs hon and for that beautiful angel of yours!

inyourhonor · #13 January 6th, 2012, 04:12 AM

Melissa you should never apologize! I'm sure and hope everyone would understand why you don't respond.

My heart is breaking for you and Peyton. This isn't fair, she doesn't deserve this. She deserves a long life with you, her dad and Paige. My heart is with you all constantly and Peyton is never far from my mind.

Londons Butterfly · #14 January 6th, 2012, 06:13 AM

Melissa, I'm so sorry for what you and your family have to go through right now. There is no way that I'll ever be able to express how incredibly sorry I am about all of this. Life is so unfair sometimes. I'll be thinking of you and your family this week, as I do every week.

Mama.Angie · #15 January 6th, 2012, 06:23 AM

Popping in from the August 11 PR... I've been following Peyton's story since it started turning up around JM, and this is such a heartbreaking read. It is so incredibly unfair. I wish for strength, love, and peace to be with Peyton, you, and all your family in these difficult days, and beyond. Thank you for sharing her story here, she has touched so many around the world...

Dixana · #16 January 6th, 2012, 06:42 AM

Stopping in from aug 11 pr.... I really have no words, I am so sorry your family is having to go through this. I cannot imagine the heartbreak of watching a child suffer.
I hope you and your beautiful daughter can find some peace.

mandy5586 · #17 January 6th, 2012, 07:11 AM

I'm one of those people who doesn't know you or Peyton, but has been following your heartbreaking story since it has been on JM. I am also one of those people that when one of your PR members posted in my PR with an update on Peyton, I had my fingers crossed that it was good news.

I don't know what to say other than you have a lot of people all over the world who care about you, Peyton, and your family. Many prayers and positive thoughts are surround you.