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Hi everyone. I desperately need help about a situation going on with me, ex husband and DD. My ex has remarried after our divorce for starters. We have a common DD5 who goes over to his house everyother weekend. I am having major issues. My ex's neice and nephew both have had lice for some time now. They stay with my ex several times a month with school being out for the summer. I don't know why thier father has not gotten rid of them, but that is another story. Anyway, Dani has had lice now 4 times in the past several months...all after coming home from her dad'd house. I have washed everything in hot water, done the treatments to get her hair cleaned out, but she goes to her dad's and bamm...right back where we started. And all they want to do is fuss at me because she has them. Dani never had lice till her cousins brought it home from school. I do know that the constant treatments are tough financially. What can I do. I have to let her go to her dad's by court order.
Welcome, SS you are in this situation. First off, and I am sure you've already done this, have you talked to the pediatrician?
If the child is going to the father's house & getting sick every time (i.e., allergic to cats or dogs & would get really sick & dad wouldn't get rid of them) you can bring this to court for your child's well-being.
My DS has had bad allergies & I am starting to think that they are from animals, we don't have any of them but my ex does. Once we have my son tested, if it comes back that DS has allergies from the animals, then I will be making my ex get rid of the animals or DS doesn't go there anymore, period. It's not that I wouldn't want my DS to see his dad, but if it would mean him being healthy, then I would take that issue to court & say "my son is on 3 different allergy medications, this is costing a lot of money & he's always sick, missing "x" amount of days in school, which affected his grades that I have proof of on his report card, if his dad can't get rid of the animals, we're going to have to decide what is in the BEST interest of the child". Meaning, a cat, dog...has no rights (in the court system like that) so if my ex wouldn't get rid of the animal making my child sick (this is not a fact, just an example), I would not allow my son to go over there again UNTIL that was taken care of. My son DOES have allergies & he is on many medications, doesn't make sense to make a child sick over visitation.
Lice...I've never had to deal w/ it, but it's hard to get rid of & it's a big deal. If your child is getting lice & getting sick, you can get medical forms filled from the pediatrician & then take them to court & bring this up as a NEGLECT issue. Cause that's what this is, a form of neglect, the child is being exposed to lice, getting sick & causing medical issues that COULD be avoided but it's not because the child is still going there & the lice is still in the house. A judge can order that the lice be out of the house, by ways of exterminator, carpet cleaning, what ever it takes, before the child goes back there. Talk to legal counsel too, you can have your first chat for free & see what they say. This may not be in conjunction w/ the original order so you might have to obtain a lawyer for fees but that would mean, your child wouldn't' be neglected anymore. Another thing might be to contact D.S.S. or C.P.S., see if you can file a complaint w/ them for the ex & perhaps they can tell you if that is another route to go.
I certainly hope this gets fixed, and fast, that's horrible & gross & I'd be furious if I were you. SS this is happening. Please keep us posted.
You absolutely cannot allow this to continue!!! Let me tell you what happened in our home just last year. My two dsd's had lice and brought them into our home. I didn't know it because I had never been exposed to this gross condition before and didn't realize why they were always digging at their scalps. They always laid all over the floor and sofas in our home as well as sleeping in the guest room. My daughter would then go into the family room to watch TV and wound up getting a really bad case of lice which caused an infection in her scalp. We thought it was an infected hair folicle and took her to a doctor who performed SURGERY on her head! Naturally, this did NOTHING to get rid of the underlying cause and the incision became infected requiring a SECOND SURGERY! By this time I knew what was going on, of course and treated her and our home several times. This requires the use of strong pesticides INSIDE the house, on the carpeting, furniture, bedding washing the sheets in hot water (I did this with bleach twice) spraying down the bedding, moving firniture so you can get all areas they may inhabit. I FINALLY got rid of them in Tori and in the house and they come back with lice AGAIN! It turns out, their mother-- --knew about their condition but was TOO ASHAMED to be seen buying lice treatments so she would simply DYE THEIR HAIR!!!! 9 and 10 yr old girls and she's dying their hair!!!!!! No treatments to the house, bedding, furniture or anything else just dying the hair on her two pre-pubescent girls. What an idiot! I am allergic to pesticides and treating the home made me sick. It really pissed me off when I came home from work one day to find the girls laying in OUR BED watching TV! I chased them out of there and treated our bedroom and went out and bought three lice kits myself and give them to DH to give to and told him they could not come over again until they had gotten rid of the lice! I now spray down the sofas and carpeting every time they come over just in case because I know what a moron their mother is and I refuse to allow them to infest our home again! Just the thought of it makes my skin crawl! And of course, I get sick everytime they come because of having to spray everything down again. It's been about a year and a half since that happened and I still do this because I KNOW how their mother is! Useless piece of trash!
Talk to your ex and let him know that your dd is getting lice everytime she visits him and you're not going to allow her to visit if he doesn't take care of the problem FROM THE ROOT CAUSE! I'm sure he will care enough about his own daughter's health to take care of informing his nieces' parents that they will not be welcome until their problem is taken care of.