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From all the responses *lol* I'm starting to think I AM the only one dealing with a crazy ex-wife!!!
Let me just start by saying this... Exy thinks they broke the mold when they made her.. That her children are paychecks and disposible (she has 4 kids btw) She has no respect for anyone.. The world revolves around her.. GRRRRR
She had my dss call his dad friday while he was at work-telling him that she was dropping him off at his work around 10am..(wait a second here.. What ever happened to-Hey is it alright that I drop our son off at your work? Do you think your BOSS would mind you having your son there?) no she didn't ask-she SAID..(which is my life story-I swear she dictates how things are run in MY HOUSE) When my dh asked her WHY the boy wasn't in school she told this tall tale about how she doesnt' have a TV or a Radio and didn't think the kids had school so she's taking the other 2 to her moms and dropping their son off with him at his work...
We called his school-to ask how many days he's been absent.. Lets just say he's just shy of going to court for truancy.. At 12 years old..
I went shopping with my baby and my friend and we were gone for a good portion of the day.. i got home just in time to catch the other kids off the bus.. I walk in the house and there he is.. sitting there.. I guess she never told my dh that she wasn't dropping him off at his work.. so she just dropped him off here... ok whatever..
I asked him why he wasn't in school and he said b/c him and his sister were walking out the door and his mother told them they weren't allowed to go.. ?!?!?!???!
I guess she had plans for the day and they would have been ruined if they went to school b/c she wouldn't have been home in time to get them so taking them to her mothers and of course dropping him off was her solution..
I'm leaving alot out-but I will just say-When my dh took him home last night.. he walked into their apt and I asked him if he talked to BB about school or whatever and he said no.. I asked what she was doing and he said WATCHING TV..(yeah the tv they don't have) and then he said it was even funnier b/c his other son asked his mother where the radio was right in front of him and she freaked out and wanted to know why..
I could go on and on and on I really could.. Maybe another day.. This is just the most recent..
but I will add this.. BB broke up with her bf and now she wants to move back to the state where she grew up.. She has 4 kids-two with my dh-1 with another man and 1 with another man..She told my dh she'd sign off her rights to the oldest who lives with us full time (He's 13-and might I add-c/s has never been adjusted he pays her cs for the kid she never sees-if they would get the custody changed she would fight for him and she's said only b/c she wants HER money) if he'd sign off his rights to his youngest so they could move to that state. She then proceeded to say the other father has no choice but to allow her to leave b/c he doesn't pay c/s for his daughter (he took her to court for shared parenting and they both share her equal amt of time so the c/s order was dropped) and then the last boy-she was with his dad for 7 years and refused to put his name on the bc so the state would pay her for him-so he has no legal rights to his son unless he takes her to court and I don't see that happening)
The oddest part to this entire thing-and I've only brought it up in convo with dh 1 time and that happened to be when I was s faced drunk.. I don't think his youngest son is his.. 1st for the fact that he looks nothing like his dad or any member of his family.. and its really odd b/c it appears that he has some pretty dominant genes b/c all his off-spring look remarkably alike.. even his nephew-he was told by strangers *ant' no denying that one* Secondly-Yes they were married but she left him and moved in with another man 2mths after the birth of their child.. She lived next to my dh's cousin.. Next thing you know-she wants to reconcile all of a sudden and it just so happens that she's pregnant.. It could just be another crazy coincidence but his *son* looks just like the guy she left him for... And he's never questioned her as to whether or not he was the father.. I'm sure the possibility that this is all coincidental is there-but when you look at the big scheme of things.. The way she treats the boys differently inregards to their dad it just makes me think its true even more.. She wants the oldest to have a good relationship with dh but she wants the youngest one to not have one.. Theres no every other weekend visitation-she only has the boy come over when she's run out of other babysitting options..honestly
Ok I'm done.. I was really hoping to comiserate with others...
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You are not alone. BM also thinks she can dictate everything with my dsd and DH. We are in the process of going to court to change the parenting plan. So needless to say she is not happy with us and is making life a living hell for us right now. Anytime you need to chat just pm or email me.
WHY the boy wasn't in school she told this tall tale about how she doesnt' have a TV or a Radio and didn't think the kids had school so she's taking the other 2 to her moms and dropping their son off with him at his work...[/b]
What the heck, what was her power out or something or she just does not have these items....why didn't she just CALL the school to see....I swear....
Hmm I am a BM and I can see both sides. DD's natural father was married a few years back and sometimes I would TELL him things as opposed to asking because the bottom line is he is still her parent and just like if something happens I have to handle it if something happens he has to step up. Now nothing outrageous I would never take a kid to anyones job without ASKING that is just rude because you never know what someones work environemtn is like or if a supervisor will even mind/allow it. So that was appaluing of that BM...BUT if I can't pick her up or if something happens that mom (me) can't get there then you bet your bottom that dad should be called on to help out. Her dad never really had an issue with picking her up from daycare or anything and it was never any nasty fights like "you better pick her up blah blah" once again that is just rude, BUT if I call and say " I can't get DD from daycare I need you to get her" then I don't expect any resistance, now with that being said I would not ask if it was a time where I knew he had to work or had a serious prior comittment but if it is in his free time and I am stuck somewhere then he dog on better get her and get her with bells on because that is his child and he does have a responsibility not to act like doing anything for her is a chore.
He is in another state right now so we don't have these issues and he never had a problem picking her up when I asked. That is ONE decent thing I can say about him.
His wife and I also got along okay and I only had to tell her what was what one time (she had the crazy idea that I was trying to sneak around with her hubby, but all the e-mails and love notes that I showed her proved the complete opposite and the divrced less than a year later. I am not a trouble maker and I kept quiet about him trying to get in my pants and the horrible things he said behind her bck, but in her face e was the "perfect" hubby..I figured it wasn't my place and if she did not catch on to his ways then sorry for her. In fact the oly reason I told her was because she lost her mind one day telling me I was jealous that she was married to him and I wanted to be where she was....and that really offended me. here I am respecting you when your own husband won't, pushing YOUR man away constantly and you want to insult me...no way miss lady so I told her where to go and sent her all the evidence I had saved and went on about my business. His now ex wife and I get along just fine.
All BM's are not bad people, taking your hubbys money and getting our hair and nails done at the expense of our children. Now I will respect any woman her father marries but that woman had better respect me and my DD as well. I don't let my DF disrespect DD's natural father and I expect the same courtesy from her dad if and when he ever remarries.
I think alot of the problems come from perception, if a BM thinks the dad is chosing the new wife over the child or is putting the wifes needs above the child then that can incite some of teh crazy behavior that goes on (the forcefullnes, "making' dad's do this and that" Like I said I never had a nasty relationship with a wife but I can understand how nastiness between BM's and wives can fester. I say have an adult conversation where everyone can get on the same page and things may be better...
then again if you have the BM from hell then she just may be a full on jerk and it might be best to look into getting more custody of the children involved.....I definately would if the shoe was on the other foot.
Well, my Dh's ex is crazy! She is a piece of work, demanding and obsessed. She still sings as Mrs Jones, calls him her DH ect.. so ZIput my foot down and now she deals with ONLY me and there is no talking between the 2. She had him so stressed out and miserable, he moved us 2100 miles away. This chick racks us each month for a child that is questionably his. When it came down to it, she dumped my stepson on me 24-7, I took him to school, had parent teacher conference, everything he needed we did. Its an on going battle with her for every little thing, I can't wait till 5yrs is up and we are done with it. (Now I am sorta ranting, sorry)
I hope things get better for you, I know how bad it can be dealing with the nutjobs!
I've had years' worth of BB problems. It was worse when we had custody of the kids for some reason. I think it was because I resented raising HER kids when I raised my own just fine. She would disappear for half a year at a time with no word to the kids and they would ask "WHere's Mommy? Why doesn't she call us?" They seem to have forgotten that now because they moved in with her several years ago because they couldn't bear our rules. Parenting is still easy for her. SHe just takes off on vacation for a week at atime and leaves the kids there alone and they still don't want to come over. Whatever. I'm happier w/o them - ugly as that sounds.
WARNING : TMI !!!
My stepkids (2 girls) used to take turns shi##ing on my furniture like dogs when they were 7-11 years old. They never wanted to listen to a word I had to say because of their allegiance to the BB.
No one besides me ever tried to even teach them how to "wipe" for God's sakes. They're both in high school now and I know for a fact they still don't wipe even after the NASTY stuff ....they just walk around with their pants full of sh#t and one is close to graduating! How disgusting is that? !!!
To top it off, both kids are smart and get pretty good grades - they're just filthy like little animals.
BB doesn't seem to mind because I think she's the same way. Oooooooo! Yuck!
Has anyone ever had FILTH problems like that with their stepkids and BBs ??? Just curious.