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  #1  
January 17th, 2005, 10:07 PM
winnowill's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My SO xwife is soo unreasonable. Everytime he mentions some sort of regular visitation she freaks. We live in Tennessee and she lives in North Carolina and has their daughter. Well I guess I shouldn't say xwife but they are sparated. (Before I go any further we met after the separation.) We have to go to North Carolina (a 7 hour drive) and when we get there he calls her to see if he can come over. We will stay for 2 days and she lets him see her for about 4 hours of that time. She won't let him take her anywhere and she has to be present at all times. I don't go and I don't feel like I should because that is his time with his daughter. We can only go up there about twice a year. We were thinking of moving there so he could see her more but she said if we did he would still only see her a few hours a week when she had the time. She has actually told him that she has more money than him and if he kept on putting up a fuss about the visitation she would make it where he never sees her. And we're not letting her know I'm pregnant because we have a feeling she will freak and not let him see her period. He is wanting to fight her for visitation but we don't have the money considering her dad is a millionaire.
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  #2  
January 18th, 2005, 06:30 AM
tamw402004's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally posted by winnowill@Jan 18 2005, 01:07 AM
My SO xwife is soo unreasonable. Everytime he mentions some sort of regular visitation she freaks. We live in Tennessee and she lives in North Carolina and has their daughter. Well I guess I shouldn't say xwife but they are sparated. (Before I go any further we met after the separation.) We have to go to North Carolina (a 7 hour drive) and when we get there he calls her to see if he can come over. We will stay for 2 days and she lets him see her for about 4 hours of that time. She won't let him take her anywhere and she has to be present at all times. I don't go and I don't feel like I should because that is his time with his daughter. We can only go up there about twice a year. We were thinking of moving there so he could see her more but she said if we did he would still only see her a few hours a week when she had the time. She has actually told him that she has more money than him and if he kept on putting up a fuss about the visitation she would make it where he never sees her. And we're not letting her know I'm pregnant because we have a feeling she will freak and not let him see her period. He is wanting to fight her for visitation but we don't have the money considering her dad is a millionaire.
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Oh wow! I hope things get better!
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  #3  
January 18th, 2005, 06:35 AM
tamw402004's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My hubby does not have children.
As for my kids 2 of them are grown. And my teen Jared is 15.....My ex is married to a woman that has 2 teens. I get a long pretty good with my exs wife. I`m glad my kids are older. I really do not have to worry about their Dad much. My kids can say how they feel about it all! Which is a plus!
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  #4  
January 18th, 2005, 09:40 AM
Mom2KRB's Avatar Veteran
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I think that is total crap. Granted, most judges will still grant primary custody to the mother, but if there is a father willing to be involved, a judge will demand that he gets regular visitation. I don't care how much money his wife's dad has, he still has rights as her father!! I say FIGHT!!
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  #5  
January 18th, 2005, 01:25 PM
winnowill's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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That's what I've been telling him. Ther are fathers who are total c--- and they still get visitation. He pays his child support and wants to be involved with his daughter. I'd give anything if Anastasias dad did that. From what his family says she is a control fraek and thats why she wants it this way. His daughter is 17 months old. She lets him talk to her over the phone so she knows his voice and sometimes they'll talk over the web cam so they can see each other. When he complains he doesn't see her enough she says "Well you don't live here". She is the one that left him her. Told him they would come here for a month or two to get away from everyone to work things out. Then left 2 weeks later while he was at work. She was having an affair with his friend. Now she is talking about him being the dad and my SO is very very mad. (Needless to say.)I told him to either fight or he may not see her at all.
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  #6  
January 19th, 2005, 06:11 AM
Mom2KRB's Avatar Veteran
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Well one thing he needs to know is that if that child was born during their marriage, the law considers him the bio dad until proven otherwise. He should definitely fight the witch.

By the way, I love your daughter's name. My neice is Anastasia too.
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  #7  
January 19th, 2005, 08:57 AM
winnowill's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thank you. I was trying to be original with her name but then that cartoon came out.

But there is no denying that she is his. And they were married when she was born. I'm hoping she calms down eventually. But if not we'll have to fight.
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  #8  
February 3rd, 2005, 09:54 AM
Kierasmom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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He has a RIGHT to see his child. It's not up to the mother. He should go to court and fight her. I bet he will atleast get a set visitation schedule and he would probably get to see her more if you lived closer. Good luck. The sad part is she is only hurting the child.
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  #9  
February 3rd, 2005, 10:43 AM
winnowill's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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You should have heard the fit she threw when he mentioned we were looking for houses up there back in september. She was yelling about how she didn't want some other woman pretending to be her mom (The one time I did go with them to the park I talked to his brother and stayed away the whole time) and saying it wouldn't change anything because she is in charge. And she can't take it that he would be around all the time. Now when she says he calls to much he'll stop calling. After 2 days she'll call him and say she guesses he doesn't want anything to do with his daughter.

And now she is trying to drag me into it. "Well, Tika should have more sympathy about what it's like to raise a child alone". She has tried to get me to talk to her about it and I told her that I didn't like it when my x girlfriend got into it and I wasn't going to do the same thing. She got mad at me

I do not want to get involved because I think it will get more complicated. I do not want to be her mom. She has a mom. I don't know where she gets some of this stuff from.
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  #11  
April 8th, 2005, 10:50 PM
docsmomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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No matter what he has a legal right to some form of visitation. Even if she has lawyers and he doesn't he will still get visitation.

I had no lawyers and my x had 2, yet I still got sole custody. He got visitation because it is in the best interest of my son since I couldn't PROVE a danger.

Courts believe that unless a child would be in danger, visitation is in the best interest of the child, and if she tries to prove danger, he would at least have supervised visitation.
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  #12  
May 1st, 2005, 03:37 PM
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Well, I have some info. to add. My DH's ex took their son over state borders w/out my hubby's permission. Then she tried using her son as leverage to get more money (he already pays child support). I spoke to a lawyer friend of mine who told me that it was illegal for her to take the kid to another state and I can fight to have her bring him back, or arrangements can be made, e.g. SO will meet half way for visitations. When I informed her of this her attitude changed really fast. Don't let this woman push you and your SO around. You have more rights than you think. Good Luck.
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  #13  
May 27th, 2005, 10:28 AM
sanderson76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Speaking from being married and having an ex. He has the right to see the kids anytime he wants. When me and my ex got our divorce its in the paper work that he can have her when he wants. We have no set visitation, but in our case, we honestly don't have to worry about it, since he lives 16 hours away and we only have to deal with him maybe twice a year. The daughter that me and my ex had together is now 13 and she chooses to not go visit him. I don't stop her, have never stopped her, but now that she is older this is her choice.

Especially as long as he pays child support he has a right to see her. If you don't have money to get an attorney, maybe check with DSS to see if they have legal aid that can help you out. I know its pricy but its well worth it in the end.
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  #14  
May 27th, 2005, 06:12 PM
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They are married, therefore, she does not have control. Legally at any time he can go get his daughter and take her. Heck he doesn't even have to return her. Because they are married and there is no court order, they both have the same rights to the child.

^^ if they are legally seperated ten that is faaar from the truth..she SHE is currently the CUSTODIAL parent...if he went and 'took' that child he would be on his way to jail for kidnapping.
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  #15  
May 28th, 2005, 08:07 PM
winnowill's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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They have been separated since I met him. We are wwaiting on the divorce papers now. She has calmed down alot since then. We have even agreed that when she moves closer to TN this fall we will meet halfway more often so he can see her. I think the problem at the time was because of her then bf.
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  #16  
July 1st, 2005, 02:40 PM
LaLa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Speaking from experience, this will never be resolved until its legalized and court ordered. Also... tell him NOT to agree to anything from her unless its what he REALLY wants.

IS the divorce in NC or another state? In other words, who moved away?

He has no choice but to fight. He owes it to his daughter to fight. The longer he waits, the longer that will work against him.

My H was in this situation for along time. A year and a half later, the battle is still ongoing, but we are Pro Se (representing ourselves, with no attorney).

Check into legal aid, and make sure that he gets it going sooner rather than later.

Lala...
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  #17  
July 9th, 2005, 09:54 PM
winnowill's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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The divorce is in NC. The papers came and have been signed but they didn't say anything about his dd excpt that she was born to them during the marriage. They looked more like separation papers to me but I've seen their separation papers and they had alot more in them than these did. Nothing about custody or visitation, child support or anything. So called her and asked where the rest of them are and she said that was all they gave her to sign. They were sent straight from the lawyers office. And said something about having to go to family court or something to set up wisitation. He sees her about every 3 months right now and she brought his dd up for 4 days for 4th of July weekend and his birthday.
He is the one that moved down here. Or got stuck down here rather. They came down here to "work things out" away from everyone and a week after they came down she left while he was at work.
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  #18  
July 14th, 2005, 05:43 AM
Amandalulu's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Dh's x tried to keep his son from him after they seperated. Made all kinds of rules, no friends over while he was there etc. but they got it written in the divorce paper for him to get him every second weekend and he does minus all her silly rules.
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  #19  
August 4th, 2005, 06:51 AM
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I have been with my DH since his DD was born (him and his 'friend with benefits' got 'caught'; but they were never in a relationship). Well let me say the courts suck. They made my husband have supervised visitation because this was his first child (it was her 1st too) initially wsaw her Wed/sat for 4 hours at a time (supervised by one of his parents). The mom hated me at first. The 1st time DSD was suppose to come to our house she said "I don't want that _itch playing mommy to my daughter". We didn't push it.
When she was 1, we went back to court to get "unsupervised" visits and to spend the night every Sat, and continue wed evening visits.
DsD is now almost 6. We went to court one other time and that was to get every other weekends and Wednesday visits (which are 3p-Thurs 10a) Now school will start and the mom has already said she can't stay the night during the week. We actually get along pretty good but she has to be in control all the time. I have a feeling we will go back to court pretty soon.
The judges are jerks though. When my DH got a lawyer they called him a bully becuz she couldn't afford one. And when they went back the 2nd time (no lawyer) the judge asked them why couldn't they work this out between the 2 of them.
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  #20  
August 6th, 2005, 01:28 PM
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Well when Chloe was born, she was in the hospital for about two weeks and when the two of them were discharged Amanda, his ex-wife, just up and disappeared. So, we filed for custody told the judge what happened. We were granted sole custody. About last month Amanda began to call wanting to talk to Chloe who she never even really had anything to do with. But just FIGHT!!!
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