Log In Sign Up

My story...


Forum: Blended Families

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Blended Families LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
September 11th, 2008, 03:55 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 709
<span style="font-familyalatino Linotype">Thank You All for welcoming me!!! I think this is the first board (I usually post in TTC, TTCAL, TTCWMA, and secondary infertility) I have felt truly welcome! This is going to be a long one!!!

My story goes as so, I was 18 when I "met" james (33 at the time)(mias daddy). He is my moms best friends brother. He is 15 years older than I and I thought he was it. I only knew of James through talk(that I remember) until he came to moved to my state. He was getting a divorce with his wife and I was breaking up with my boyfriend. We were in similar situations and the sexual chemistry was there. We immediately "hooked up" but before we did I made sure to let him know that if I were to get pregnant I would not have an abortion. He was threw back at my honesty but it really didnt phase him. (He had 3 kids at the time) A couple months went by and I found out I was pregnant. During the couple months I started to notice some signs that it wasnt going to work out and I tried to break it off.

We went to the hospital because I passed out at work and I thought I had a UTI. I was pregnant. I was scared out of my mind but happy at the same time. He was "happy" I thought until we left the ER and he called me everything he could think of and told me how I was ruining his life and that he didnt want anything to do with the baby if I kept it. The next day I went to the doctors to have some blood drawn and they confirmed the pregnancy but told me that it looked bad because the numbers were so low. We went back to his dads and he prayed in front of me that it was ectopic or a miscarriage. I just cried. Everything turned out beautiful though, problem was that I was only like 2-3 weeks pregnant. I was happy and was sticking to my word. He begged and begged I stuck it out and he made sure I payed for it my entire pregnancy.

The relationship went from verbal and mental abuse to physical on my part initially but after he was all game after I had the baby. I had mia in april 2003 and left in july of 2004. He went to hit me with a pillow and ended up hitting the baby instead and I flipped. I left and moved in with a cousin. I found comfort through a man (DF now) who was in a similar situation. 15 years older than I, Left his wife, she was cheating, and needed a friend. I fell into the same "?trap?" "hooked up" and got pregnant with twins. I was tormented by my cousins (whom I looked up to as parents) and told nobody would love me and I was kicked out because I was having a kid and my cousin couldnt so it would hurt her too bad to see me pregnant. DF has 4 kids he was paying child support on and didnt have money to just jump and get a place so I was forced into the only decision I have ever regretted. Moving back in with the Ex.

I was already High Risk because I fell on the porch on some ice with my 2 cousins and started bleeding, so when my cousin told me I needed to get my stuff out her house and no one would help me, I miscarried on October 24th, 2004.

From October 24th to October 24th 2007 I stayed with the man I thought had changed but in reality I learned I was just in my own world and learned to tune out all the bad. I moved out in July of 2006 but tried to work it out seperated until October 24th 2007 when I found him layed up with another woman on the day we were supposed to start family counseling and on the anniversary day of my loss. He told me if I let him go ahead with her for a while, he would decide whether he wanted to be with me or not later. I said my goodbyes forever.

In may of 2007 I took him for shild support after he refused to take care of his daughter while I worked and he didnt work at all. We personally came up with Every other weekend and 1 day out of the week, when they slapped him with child support he said he doesnt want to pay child support and said he wants her more. (Coming from the man who tormented and insulted me everyday until my daughter was 3 on how he never even wanted her) The judge ruled I have sole physical custody joint legal custody. being the "nice girl/fair girl" that I always have tried to be, I had them take the child support from 400 a month to 200 a month. At the time he promised me he would watch her whenever and help with groceries. I never thought he would renig on everything even though he never fulfilled any promise.

Throughout all the confusion and turmoil between the ex and I, I managed to find and start a friendship with David(df). He helped me as much as he could and told me he never stopped loving me and he wants a relationship. I took it slow until I caught the ex in october and something just hit me and made me realize how much I really did love David. He proposed in late November and I accepted. In December James coerced mia (then 4) to go to the police and tell them David "touched her private". My heart sank. I threw up at the thought, I didnt know what to believe. They took my daughter for a week, I had no access to her, he wouldnt let me speak to her, I wasnt allowed to speak to david. I was out of it. The process of speaking to the social worker gave me hope. She asked me what did my guy instinct tell me and scare to admit it I said i honestly felt he didnt do it. She interviewed David. She called me from her phone, in front of david and said he didnt do it. I was relieved only a bit. I needed to hear it from Mia. A week of HELL went by, no sleep, talk of not getting her back in time for Christmas, I prayed I cried and I didnt eat. Friday came and they had their "kidstalk" who confirmed that it was planned and she was coerced into saying those things. The social worker called me and said her and Mia were on their way. I didnt break up with david but I didnt speak to him for at least a week after "the incident" until I had the chance to really break it down to mia how serious this was. The social worker told me David offered a polygraph, he offered to be locked up, he told them that he would move out of state if it meant I wouldnt lose my baby. She told me I would be crazy not to marry him. She also said that when they told James it never happened, he acted like he was upset and told them they were wrong.

fast foward, Mia is afraid of the police department, she doesnt trust any cop. Neither do I.

There is more but I know everyone is going crazy with the story so I will post later. I have never told my story before so I am glad that I actually found a place I feel comfortable doing so. </span>
__________________








Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Diet Journal
Reply With Quote
  #2  
September 12th, 2008, 04:09 AM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the enchanted forest
Posts: 5,257
<span style="font-family:Georgia">Wow... okay, where do I start w/ this.

Quick question, you mentioned that you frequent on the TTC boards, are you actively TTC again? Just curious.

First off, thank you for being so candid about your past & current situation, that takes a lot of gut to do.

As far as your pregnancies or ex's, that's not abnormal around here (or we all wouldn't be here). The fact that you have had to deal w/ abuse is something that we can also relate too. Being abused (verbally, physically, sexually), those are DEAL BREAKERS, not just for you but b/c you are a parent & that is YOUR responsibility for ensuring the safety of your child(ren).

If what you say is to be true, that men are being abusive whether it be to you or to your daughter's privates, then that is something that you cannot let go. No social worker is going to make it all go away, that's something I promise. CPS is trained to do certain things, sometimes lie to get you admit to stuff that didn't truly happen, others are there & just want to move on to the next case & take the accuser's words for truth when it fact they are not & need further investigation/help.

If you believe your child(ren). And what you believe is to be true, it's your job as a mother/ as their advocate to make sure that it NEVER happens again. That exposure to a child is life changing & not for the good, speaking from experience.

I've dealt w/ CPS/DSS (or what ever you want to call them where you live), I've dealt w/ abuse & I've learned that no matter how much I loved someone or believed their apologies, that wasn't enough. I had to do what was in the best interest of my child(ren), it's not about you or how you are willing to work on things when you have children involved. It's time to work on yourself, figure out what you need in your life & fix YOU before bringing some man into your house (any man) that could hurt your kids. If the man is truly remorseful & wants the help & wants you in his life, he'll comply, get help for anger management, go to personal & family therapy & do what ever is necessary to get things better to even consider reconciling.

Being nice in court, gets you no where, it just gets them off the hook & it makes you have a tattoo stamped on your head from them that says "SUCKER".... again, BTDT, don't even try to be nice b/c you want to be a nice person. Have they been nice to you about helping w/ the children they made? no. Do they care if your child(ren) go w/ out? no. Do they care about responsibilities? no. If you don't want to take them for the RIGHT amount of child support for the reason of being a nice, that's not a reason. If you don't need that extra money, then that's great, take that money that you are suppose to get & put it in a bank account for the kids future education & expenses, cause braces, college, and God knows what else will be coming out of left field & then you'll be stuck. From you telling me that the guy would help w/ groceries & hasn't kept his promise, that doesn't surprise me. You need $ to pay for groceries, why not get it the way in CS so you don't have to ask for reimbursement or help from him. You shouldn't have to wonder, worry OR ask. The money should be in your pocket already, before you even walk out that door to help support your kids. It cost a lot of money to support kids these days, prices are up, economy isn't great & letting a man get off easily just b/c you feel bad, is not good. It's time to go for in to court for a modification, you don't need a lawyer for that & you can do it very easily. Go in, fill out papers, they'll serve him & you'll both get a date in the mail in regards to your next court appearance w/ in 2 weeks prior to the hearing.

I know I've thrown a lot at you & may think I am being harsh, but I am being realistic & men who are in any way shape or form abusive are NOT to be in your house, they are DEAL BREAKERS & if you allow those men around the kids again, even w/ suspicions & something happens to those kids, you are an accessory to the fact b/c you knew about what they were capable of doing or did & as a result would be in jail & charge w/ neglect of allowing any abuse to occur. Trust me on this. You will be charged & your kids will end up in foster care & then you will be dealing w/ major legal issues on getting them back.

To end that, I would say go w/ your gut, realize your kids are first, don't allow men that are stupid in your life anymore. It's time to work on yourself for a while & then move forward. No more nicey nice, do what's right for your kids. Do you think the guy getting to pay less in CS is even thinking about this? Nope, he's spending that money on stupid things & not even thinking of his responsibility as a parent. That I can promise you. He doesn't care if YOU go w/ out & you have to remember that.

I certainly hope that things get better for you & that you can resolve a lot of these things sooner rather than later. If you haven't already talked to an attorney, the consults "can" be free, depending on the law firm. Seek legal council, get your game face on & proceed as if this were life or death & take the bull by the horns & no more sitting back & playing the victim. Hurt me once, shame on you, hurt me twice, shame on me. I say this from experience & only b/c I am want to help. If it came/comes across as mean or blunt, it's to help & get you to open your eyes to what has to happen here. We want you to get better & have a better situation. All this drama is not helping you and kids pick up on this.

Kids are the innocent persons in the equations, they haven't asked to be born, don't get to choose their parents & having to tolerate anything less than a safe, consistent home w/ no drama isn't one of them. These kids need some help & since they're kids, they're resilient but sitting back & allowing men to potentially hurt your kids (if what you stated is true & you believe to be true) then those are deal breakers for those men NOT to ever step foot near your kids again. Time to put the wheel in motion & use the resources out there that can help you.

I wish you lots of luck & please keep us posted on what the outcomes are.

~C</span>
__________________



Reply With Quote
  #3  
September 12th, 2008, 05:20 AM
JustBecca's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Suffolk, Virginia
Posts: 3,058
Send a message via Yahoo to JustBecca
I can not really think of anything else to say other that what was just said by C.

Raising a child is not easy. And you always have to think about what it best for that child.

If your ex made your DD say all those things about your DF then why is he not in jail for filing a false police report and all that stuff that goes along with it?

The best thing that you can do it go to court and work out a visitation (which should be supervised if he hit her and got her to lie) and child support. Telling him that you would take half of what was ordered is a little odd...children cost a lot more that $200 a month and alot more than $400 a month. Even if you feel like you will not be using it all...SAVE it. School is not cheap, DR's appointments, Dentist appointments, vacations, shoppping trips, college...all those things can be saved for with that extra money.

Please stick around and let us know if there is anything else that you need help with.
__________________

Thank you ~* Helen *~ for the best all about me siggie! You are absolutely fabulous!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
September 12th, 2008, 03:52 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 709
I understand what you are all saying, and I appreciate all you are saying but maybe I should elaborate a little more on what is going on with the accusation. Nothing happened, I have talked to mia a million and one times, she was in counseling, she was talked to be a trained psychologist and all she kept saying was daddy and randy (james cousin) told me to say these things. I dont feel at all david did these things and there was an investigation done on the police department because James(DD dad) cousin works there and that is how everything started. There were other officers involved with their slander towards me and accusations toward me. The cousin was suspended from his job w/o pay for some time and the other officers including a sergeant were put on probation for their role in helping cover and conceal the situation. David had option to sue for slander and deformation of character but we opted out of because the lawyer said that we would be paying far more than we were getting because now I guess you have to have had a physical loss of work and such.

I was molested from the time I was 4 til I was 12. I have a pretty good eye when it comes to people. Before I let David into my daughters life, I had a thorough background investigation done on him. I definately did my homework on him before letting him into her life. There is nothing in my heart that says he did hurt her at all. The social worker, the kidstalk counselor, and the rape victim sergeant all told me that nothing was being held against David. David has 4 of his own children and 3 more he raised, I wont go as far to say that I am friends with his ex's but I am on speaking terms with them, his kids ranging from 16-24 are all very good friends of mine. He helps raise 2 nieces because his sister is a struggling single mother.

James has a history of abuse. He would say a lot of really crazy things that led me to counseling because I couldnt get close to whoever I was with. With some of the things he would say to me (way too disgusting for me to announce to anyone) the counselor already told me what would be next. And sure enough, he pulled out these accusations. I am sorry if I didnt clarify myself, it was truly emotional for me to actually tell the story.

TO CLARIFY, I NEVER SAID THAT DAVID TOUCHED MY DAUGHTER IN ANY WAY. HE DOESNT SPANK HER, BATHE HER OR CHANGE HER CLOTHES. WHEN I GET HOME FROM WORK AT MIDNIGHT, I AM THE ONE WHO DOES EVERYTHING. I TALK TO MY DAUGHTER CONSTANTLY ABOUT IF SOMEONE TOUCHES HER SO ON AND SO FORTH, JUST BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT I WENT THROUGH. DAVID TAKES VERY GOOD CARE OF MIA WHEN SHE IS UNDER HIS CARE.

I was stupid for cutting the child support. I know that now, but sometimes your heart is not really thinking with your brain. He has now started to work part time(purposely) and told me to try to take him to court to increase his support. Well I talked to my lawyer, he said that I wouldnt be able to get any more money that they could actually lower the amount!!! He has now picked up a car note and house note and he is going to school now (he is 40). He is doing everything to make sure he doesnt have to pay for anything except him.

That is all for now...thank you ladies
As for getting pregnant, yes we have been TTC for a little while, but due to the stress I was put under last year, my periods began to mess up and I do not ovulate. I now have been put on clomid to help me ovulate (this is my first cycle) . Hopefully we will be pregnant and expect a June baby!!!
__________________








Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Diet Journal
Reply With Quote
  #5  
September 13th, 2008, 05:34 AM
JustBecca's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Suffolk, Virginia
Posts: 3,058
Send a message via Yahoo to JustBecca
I am sorry for everything that has happened with you and your DD.

Even with all the lies and hurtful things and torment that your ex put you and your DD through and even David does he still see your DD? I would be so concerned about that. It sounds like it was fairly easy for them to have her say that. She said it because she was probably trying to make her daddy happy and she was worried in her little head that if she didn't that he might not love her anymore.... children are so pleasing at that age. They will do and say alot of things to make a parent happy....even more so with the parent that they do not live with.

Telling your story is hard and we are not here to judge you and I hope that you know that. We welcome you here and we hope that you stay. There are alot of great ladies here and if we havn't gone through it with our own children someone might have as a child or even a friend or family member. You would be surprised at how some people are going through the exact same things.

Child support is such a hard thing for some people. My child support started off at $150 back on 2000 and slowly went up until it reached $174. As of May (back dating) it was dropped to $50 a month. Why you ask.....he is working part time and going to school part time. He has signed up for school and taken me to court every two years to get his support lowered. This year was different because this time he is only working part time too.

I hope that you are able to get things worked out with your situation.
__________________

Thank you ~* Helen *~ for the best all about me siggie! You are absolutely fabulous!
Reply With Quote
  #6  
September 13th, 2008, 07:30 AM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the enchanted forest
Posts: 5,257
Quote:
Even with all the lies and hurtful things and torment that your ex put you and your DD through and even David does he still see your DD? I would be so concerned about that. It sounds like it was fairly easy for them to have her say that. She said it because she was probably trying to make her daddy happy and she was worried in her little head that if she didn't that he might not love her anymore.... children are so pleasing at that age. They will do and say alot of things to make a parent happy....even more so with the parent that they do not live with.[/b]
ITA w/ becca in this above statement.

To add to the CS thing. A lot of people who are ordered to pay CS, often think that if they start working under the table, quit their jobs, work part-time, or disappear, they can get out of CS, on the contrary & you need another attorney if that is what they've told you. The only way CS would be removed OR lowered is if (1) you agreed to it or (2) you made more money than him gross income wise. If your ex is CAPABLE of working & once made (just an example here) $30,000.00 per year & had full coverage in health insurance, let's just say when he saw the CS thing, he decided to get a part-time job making less than $20k per year w/ no health insurance & worked under the table to compensate for his bills that he still had/has but didn't want the papers to show more money cause he's thinking "I don't want to have to pay that"... WRONG!!! This is where you need another attorney, unless you are making more money than him or you originally agreed to having it lowered.

Now... you may NOT be able to have it raised but certainly not lowered. There is a law w/ first children, the first child, no matter how many kids born after the fact (10-12 of them, doesn't matter) gets the most CS, period. You stated that he has more children so I don't believe you fit into that category.

As far as having it lowered, that hog-wash & that's where you need to seek another lawyer, yours is not telling you accurate info. If you want your CS that you are not getting consistently, you go into a family district court, file for modification/breech & then the papers will be filed, you & your ex will then get a letter in the mail stating a court date. At that time you both attend. The judge will see what your complaints are (not getting the CS ordered) & then the judge will ask your ex "what is going on?" he/she will try to figure out if he's going through tough times, special circumstances or just being a bum. Judges are smart. Once the judge sees that this person is capable of making a certain amount of money (i.e., $30k w/ full health coverage) she will order him to find a job w/ that same amount & pay CS, she will give this man a certain amount of time (say 3-6 months) to get his act together. If at that point nothing has changed, that's when the legal stuff starts buckling. His license (to drive) will be suspended, if he has any assets (bank accounts) they will be frozen, all money made under his social security # will be garnished completely, the list goes on, leans on his property, you name it. If this man cares about his drivers license, his bank accounts, his assets, he will comply, and fast. This is what your lawyer SHOULD be telling you, not all this hog-wash. Also, when a person signs off for the retro-support (to be nice, and again, I can understand why, I've BTDT, you just wanted to move forward I am sure), if the person ordered to pay child support isn't doing that, the original order that states the amount to be paid in CS is non-in-void. Meaning, he breached his own agreement & you have the right to go for full retro support & then some. The list goes on really.

That's what I have to say about that.

As far as the whole abuse thing, if you feel in your heart that nothing is wrong, then that's that issue & you don't have to talk about it since it's been resolved & you're fine w/ how things are, yes?

Moving into the whole TTC or TTCWMA thing, and again, JMHO, take it w/ a grain of salt if you will. With all the stress you are under, w/ everything going on, to TTC (on purpose) just doesn't seem right. Don't you think that you need to be in a better place financially & emotionally before getting preggers? Being pregnant isn't cake, you already know that & hormones & stress added, just not gonna help. Again, JMHO, not being judgmental, it's your life, you're gonna do what you want to do, I'm just thinking about how stressful it is to be pregnant & have a newborn & how adding to the stress w/ external issues that you are dealing w/ seems to be something that you'd want to get cleared up before bringing another baby into this world & being more stressed out. Again, JMO, it's your life & your body.

I hope things settle for you, I hope you can resolve this CS issue & get a better attorney/council. Just because someone has a law degree, doesn't mean they're good lawyers, I've had 2 lawyers in my past that were HORRIBLE. I learned the hard way & moving forward, it's like a doctor, get a second opinion, or a third, fourth etc. It's your life, your situation, your money, why pay for anything less than someone who is willing to examine EVERY avenue for your benefit? That's their job & sometimes lawyers either have too many cases & don't care, aren't experienced enough OR (and this is my favorite) have been in the business way too long & need to retire or get another job cause obviously they're tired.

HIH, GL & keep us posted.

~C

__________________



Reply With Quote
  #7  
September 13th, 2008, 04:29 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,091
Send a message via AIM to Blondzilla
I absolutely agree with everything that has been said here. I would also go so far as to say that BEFORE you bring another baby into your life, you need to take care of YOU! Have you ever sought counseling for the abuse in your past? I was also abused as a child and had actually blocked it out of my memory until my grandfather (the abuser) died. In my mind somwhere, I determined it was then "safe" to allow myself to recall it. I went through 5 years of counseling and being on anti-depressants. It was hell! BUT, I firmly believe it was also the best thing in the world for me! I am now free of the baggage that abuse brings into your life (or as free as anyone can ever be) and make good decisions for myself. I'm not being judgemental at all...just speaking from experience.
I wish you all the best. It's a tough situation but it doesn't have to be the way it is right now. Just don't complicate things even more until you are emotionally and financially ready to handle another baby...not just for your sake but for the sake of your daughter, your BF and the new baby.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #8  
September 13th, 2008, 07:14 PM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the enchanted forest
Posts: 5,257
Being abused isn't to be taken lightly. I know all too much how that affects the human spirit. It takes years to truly come to terms w/ it NOT being your fault. Years.... not months or some "happy pill" but months & months of talking, therapy & perhaps some medications, perhaps exercise/multi-vitamins, some better eating rituals (not that I know what you do on the side, just examples). You have to take care of YOU, if you don't know one else will. In order for YOU to love others, you must love yourself.

Being a mother is difficult, as you already know. Children are very resilient but at the same time, they pick up on their parents (in this case you) being sad & going through some rough times. They all somehow think that it's their fault(s), they internalize it all as something that they could have prevented, if they did this or didn't do that etc.

Again, it's your life, your body & your choices. We are here for info., help, suggestions & advice. It's all to be taken w/ a grain of salt or to your heart, which ever works for you. I've gotten great help on this board & some info not so much. I take away what I can to make my situations better & I give advice based on my own personal experiences & knowledge. I hope to create a window for people to see that they are not alone & that there are ways to get through these issues. Sometimes you have to go through a tornado to get to see daylight & have all settle again. Dumb analogy I know, but I am trying to make sense of my advice.

None of us are here to judge you personally. NONE of us are perfect, we have ALL made mistakes. We ALL have ex's for a reason & we ALL have children involved (whether it be our bio or step child(dren), so we understand that things can be hard & confusing all around. No one seeks out to be part of this forum, no one grows up as a child & says "I want to grow up & be a single mother w/ a kid who's bio-dad (or mom) isn't involved, that I have to go to court for CS...etc...etc...etc..." that's not in our dreams. But it's reality & that's why we've ended up here.

I could be more active in the 2007 or 2006 playgroups since I have had babies in those years, I could be active in the all boys forum, or ASL/handicap forums too. Not that I haven't posted on them in the past, I have but I guess when it comes down to it all, it's hard to relate to a lot of people that are in "regular situations" in their marriages/children when I am part of a very messed up Brady Bunch! I have 3 bio-kids, 1 w/ an ex, my DH has a child from his previous marriage, my ex since married & is expecting twins...(not sure of their genders yet)...due in the early new year (Feb-ish)...my DS is part of the most dysfunctional Brady Bunch out there. He has a lot of siblings & lots of love, but on the same note, it's sad & I feel badly that he has to run around to be part of everyone's lives. I know I wish I could fix that, but it's not gonna happen.

Not sure where I'm going w/ this now but I guess I wanted to say that you're NOT alone & we're here to listen.
__________________



Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:58 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0