We pride ourselves on having the friendliest
and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment
for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers.
If you have any problems registering please drop an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!
<span style="color:#9932CC">so today, the ex came to drop off mia. I am at work so Df was at home waiting for him to come. Because of the situation that he cheated on me with his current gf and he just doesnt like david because he just doesnt, the agreement was that he would stop bringing his homewrecking **************** over my house when he dropped or picked up the baby, if i made sure to not have david go and get her from the car. whatever. that has been the arrangement. well the other day he asked if he could keep her til monday and i told him if i knew his address it would be fine-he refused to give me the address so I said i didnt want my daughter somewhere I couldnt know where she was so the answer was NO. He came to drop her off and he calls and said he is there, i told him to send her up (which is what happens every time) and he says, "NO, i need an actual person here to get her". I said OK well david will be down to get her and he flips! I thought the agreement was blah blah blah and I'm just going to bring my gf with me than!! I said well there is no need to because we are moving on the first and you wanna play the game of not giving me you add than You wont have our new addy. He said well you can have my address if you follow my rules! I laughed and hung up and txtd him "look you could have avoided this all, i just wanted to know where my daughter is, at least a baseline. You want to play games therefore when we move you wont have our address. what comes around goes around". I am so tired of him, he ended up just sending her up anyways. After the whole argument he just ended up sending her up. Then mia says she cant remember what she ate today and that she is starving. She is five, I believe she ate but has it been that long that she cant even remember? Its 7pm! I tried to txt to ask him and no reply! what a loser!</span>
When I drop DSD off or when she is being picked up, I try to make sure she's sent home with a full belly. The few times her bio mom has driven the full 4 hrs, I try to give her a choice of having me feed DSD, or waiting so they can stop somewhere and eat together. 5 years old and I would think Mia could tell you what she ate that day. My DSD has too good a memory. She remembers a lot, which helps my documentation.
I don't know about stooping down to his level and playing games. I don't think legally he can keep his physical address from you. If your child is there, you have a right to know where she is. I might recommend you call the non-emergency police number to get advice on who to call to find out your rights. Googling these things has only brought up family codes that are extensive and confusing for me. I'm trying to get my DH to call to find out these things myself. I feel awkward, as the step-parent, making calls like that.
Good luck. I know that in my DH's divorce papers, it states that both parties must provide new address and contact information to the attorney general and the other party within something like 2 weeks of any changes. I don't know about your state, but I think that was a state requirement here and not just something the ex added.
Well, I called friend of the court this morning and they notified me that I DO NOT have to know the address of which my daughter is being held during the weekends. He is (neither am I) under NO obligation to let each other know where we live!!!!!!!!!!! Can you believe this BULL!!! I know for a fact that if something were to happen, he would not let me know where to go what to do or even that something happened! As far as the address thing I will more than likely tell him to just pick her up. I just cant stand the fact that he can always get away with so much but if I need something for Mia or if Mia has an event at school, he is never there. Well so there you have it, I dont need to know who my daughter is with, where she is, or what she is doing AT ALL! But I am fully responsible for that tuition payment and those bills to get paid and that gas to get spent and all the other wonderful things. I know I am just ranting, IM sorry its just blah!!!!
Well if that is the case, then when you move DO NOT give your address. That way his homewrecker gf doesn't AGAIN disrespect your new home, and so he can see how it feels to not know WHERE his child lives (if he even cares). I cannot believe that your state doesn't require that. Find a place roughly halfway between you and use it as your neutral drop off location. Obviously, this would only work if there is an agreement on WHO can pick up and drop off. I'm just so shocked.
I nanny for a family about to go thru a divorce. My boss, R, has been divorced before and is going thru a lot with custody of her 2 older kids. She has been forced to learn the laws cuz her ex is dragging her thru quite an ordeal. I'm thankful that she knows so much, as she has been able to give me some advice on the laws. She told us to call the attorney general and put in a complaint about the address and phone situation. She told us it will work against us if we don't act now and let the courts know. Even if it goes nowhere, at least it will be documented. I have learned thru this whole thing that it is very important to document EVERYTHING. I document conversations with DSD (in regards to how she lives), conversations with Dh's ex, any unsafe situations I observe at when I am over there, medical care, etc. I know I will have documentation and the other side won't (what could they possibly have against us anyway lol), so it will definitely work in our favor. Just document, document, document.