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Why i've been MIA


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  #1  
November 10th, 2008, 10:08 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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why i've been MIA....
link to read..
http://www.justmommies.com/boards/index.ph...owtopic=1339648

Thank you ladies so much!
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  #2  
November 10th, 2008, 12:02 PM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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So your guy read your TX messages? Not that he should be doing that, but was there something bad on them that made it a fight? I know that my DH has access to all my email & phone accounts & visa versa, so I wouldn't mind but that's me.

How did you find out? Did you have something on there that he found that he didn't like & then came to you & now you know b/c of that & now you don't trust him? I'm trying to put the pieces together to understand the situation more.

Sounds like trust "IS" an issue, but I need more background to understand what happened so I can give advice "if" you need some.


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  #3  
November 10th, 2008, 12:23 PM
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It wasnt that he cared he looked through but the only reason he even took my phone is because he wanted to seee if i was doing somethoing... and my txts were about my bestfriend was having issues... with her BF and girl problems.. VERY PRIVATE.. she didnt want anyone to know she has only gone to me about it.... ectect...
and he read it and never talked to me.! He went snooping around. I dont tolarate that what so ever. I dont like the feeling of him invading my privcy which is how i felt he did.

he has also lied to me two other times..
The reason i know is cause he told me. But he could of straight up and asked me to my face.
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  #4  
November 10th, 2008, 02:52 PM
merkelsgirl
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My ex used to do the same thing to me all the time. I know how you feel. It is never acceptable for your SO to go through your phone or email, no matter what. And it is an invasion of privacy. Did you talk to him about it? Calmly?
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  #5  
November 10th, 2008, 04:52 PM
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Honey, I am sorry you're going through that. I do know what it's like to have someone spying on you. My ex not only tapped my phone but had a program on the computer that he could read everything I wrote and everything that was written to me. He also had 3 hidden cameras in the house--one in my office, one in the bedroom and one upstairs...creepy! When he'd go out of town he would hire a private detective to follow me. Yeah. $500 a day to follow me to the grocery store and walk around the mall. Smart man. lol He believed that I was screwing around on him but I wasn't and the more time that went by with him finding nothing, the angrier and more abusive he got. (Would almost have been worth having an affair just to pacify him! lol) It isn't fair and that's not a healthy relationship. That being said, if it's your ex's he's upset about I guess my question would be why you want to keep talking to and seeing your ex's? I know it would bother me if Tom was talking to an old girlfriend and I found out about it. It'd be different if he told me he was going to before hand or if he said "Guess who I got a call from today!" But if you're talking to them behind his back and he found out, I think that may be why he is upset and not trusting you. After all, if it's all innocent, then there is no reason to hide it from him, right? Tom does know that I have male friends that I talk to online and email jokes back and forth but there is no way I am going to meet them or go anywhere with them. It would feel dishonest to me...let alone to him. I do believe that men and women can be just friends but if it's bothering him, then you need to examine why you feel the need to continue doing something that he doesn't like. Is it just because you want to show him you will not be controlled? Or do these relationships mean that much to you? Or perhaps, THIS relationship isn't really what you want? Those are questions that only you know the answers to and you need to decide who's more important to you...him or them? Not trying to judge, just trying to help you see things from his side so maybe you can save your relationship with him if that's what you want.
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  #6  
November 11th, 2008, 09:41 AM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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Got it.

My concern is this. Men have a tendency of snooping b/c of trust. They tend to not trust you b/c they are doing something wrong themselves & visa versa. Now I am not trying to say that is 100% accurate, it's not. But in my personal experience, every time a guy has accused me of cheating, gone through my stuff, he's actually cheated & done that stuff to me which is why he was paranoid. He thought that I was doing what he was doing & it was a cycle in his mind.

With that said. His behavior isn't called for. You have some thinking to do & I am sorry that this is happening.

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  #7  
November 12th, 2008, 09:28 AM
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thank you ladies.. yeah he went through my phone and pc again..
now i decided to have them on me at all times. This sickins me. i decided also to not continue what we had... its very hard for me to trust them when they invade my stuff....
all the people that ive talked to told me he had NO right. i agree. He also has lied to me about some friend of his that he had sex with and possibly could of got something from her! I was checked i am fine thankfully..
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  #8  
November 12th, 2008, 03:11 PM
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Wow. I agree with Chantelle...most likely he's the one doing something and accusing you so he doesn't have to feel so guilty. After all, if HE'S guilty of something and catches YOU then he can feel justified. Doesn't exactly justify it in my book but some people feel that way. I'm glad you didn't catch anything! Lord knows it's a lot more complicated nowadays with some seriously deadly things out there. If this is going on, you need to get out and not look back! How dare he endanger your life like that!
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  #9  
November 13th, 2008, 07:38 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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Thank you ladies!!!!..
Yeah i very much agree with you ladies. They are big things he decided not to tell me!. For goodness sakes! He could of gave me something. i basically told him off!. Im very much speak my mind. and all he could say is sorry for not saying. Well to late!. I really dont understand some guys... KWIM? im hoping i can get a job sooon...
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