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  #1  
November 27th, 2008, 02:42 PM
koalasandduckies's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Maine
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Just found his board and oh my would it be a good place for advice. A little info on me. I am Lorelei, DH Jon, DH's daughter is Alex who is four and DH and I have a baby, Savannah together. We are constantly dealing with issues with switching Alex between houses and how to make the rules work at both places. And any advice you ladies can give me would be awesome!
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  #2  
November 28th, 2008, 12:03 AM
Ellemphriem's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Dreamland...........
Posts: 2,646
Hi and welcome,

We have the same situation. Me and DH have a newborn Efie and my DH has a daughter from a previous marriage Dafni aged 9. I'ts difficult for the little one. Consider yourself being made to go from house to house every X days remain there and then change back and so on and so forth. PLUS having to deal with strangers (us) that are forced on you as supplementary parents (even though very good some maybe). It is not easy What you can do is be supportive to your husband's decisions concerning his child and your DSD and try to pass your household rules not forcibly. I never ever get in the way of my DH and his daughter unless asked and after 2 years almost my DSD told me 4 weeks ago 'I am asking you also, you are like a mom to me, a second mom, so i need your opinion' That was so so nice to hear Just don't force yourself on them. Let them have their own time and just be there to support them. I'll always say remember you DSD needs her daddy more than you Might sound harsh but that is just the way it is. Let bio-mom and dad work out the rules and WHEN and IF asked especially by DSD herself only then chime in. Be prudent around her and him. Your role is very important but secondary and supportive. Let them live their 'love' and smile at them. And offer your kisses and hugs freely. This child needs more love than your own (even though hard as a notion). She needs it. My DSD needs it too. I myself am a child of a broken home and i never met my dad. He actually gave me up for adoption (to my grandparents) when i was 5 months old ....go figure. So to see DSD and daughter have such a wonderful dad is a point of amazement to me and belated jealousy ( not a mean one, just a reminiscent one).....of why i couldn't have had a dad like that. And i place myself at DSD shoes (for her dad and mom divorced when she was 5 months old also, go figure) and i see that if i was her i would off needed my dad's hugs love and kisses more than anything......

just more than anything.....

Wishes for the best
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  #3  
November 28th, 2008, 07:13 PM
JustBecca's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Suffolk, Virginia
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Welcome! I am Becca one of the hosts here. I have 3 children. Sadie is 9 and from a previous relationship. She lives with us and doesn't have any contact with her birthfather. We are in the process of coming up with the funds to have my DH adopt her. Then we have Lilly who is 7 and Gabe who is 3. My DH is Kally and we have been married for almost 8 years.
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