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Forum: Blended Families

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  #1  
January 12th, 2009, 09:56 AM
*Kiliki*'s Avatar i have absolute power
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well Raianna is 8yrs old and loves her sister Frankie so much..misses her when shes not here..etc...so she tries to call and text her....but Frankie just doesnt respond to her....i dunno what to do about this...i feel so bad for raianna....frankie asked dh for raianna to back off on texting her....and me and him talked about this...and im sure he'll talk to her about this....but we both agreed that if frankie would just RESPOND to her...she wouldnt do it so much and its not like seh does it ALL the time...i mean she maybe calls her a few times a week and texts here once or twice a day and not even every day....she rarely texts her back and NEVER calls her back.....and i know frankie has become a teenager and the only thing important in her life is herself and her friends....and boys....etc...
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  #2  
January 12th, 2009, 11:03 AM
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I'm so sorry. I have absolutely no advice but want to say I can understand.

My 6 year old totally worships DH's 10 year old. Until a few weeks ago they were inseparable when DSD came to visit. Unfortunately, DH's 14 year old daugher is completely reeking havoc. And for now we can't have them come visit (DH will go to see them) - BTW they live 4 hours away. But that's another story.

Anyway DD is devastated. She's lost her sister. I really don't know what to do because DD has lost so much in her very young life.
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  #3  
January 12th, 2009, 11:29 AM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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IMO, the 11 year old child is more involved w/ her personal life than her step-siblings. Also, the texting is probably annoying her if anything b/c if she would respond then that would be different. Sounds like my DS & my DSS, my DS really wants a relationship w/ my DSS but my DSS could care less, my DS is 8 my DSS is 11 & DSS just wants nothing to do w/ my DS, period. My advice would be to just let the girls be & they will have a relationship one day if it's mean to happen. Usually an 11 year old child is more involved w/ their friends, school & other things. And also, and this is just something I am throwing out there, there might be a possibility that the 11 year old is jealous of the 8 year old? I am not saying that's true, but it could be. In closing, I would probably gather that the 11 year old child thinks that the 8 year old child is more of a pest to her than anything. Not that it makes it right but that is more of the reality. Like they feel that they are in the way, KWIM? They would rather not be bothered. It's hard to watch your 8 year old want & beg for that bond but I would have to say that have the 8 yr. old focus more on other things & let their relationship flourish when they are all in the same house together rather than the texting on a cell phone. JMO, HIH
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  #4  
January 12th, 2009, 01:14 PM
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Sounds like a normal-ish sibling relationship. There will come a point where they won't get along as well. My older brother and I were inseparable until he was 8or9 and I was 5or6. His friends started asking why his kid sister was tagging along everywhere. My brother and I became close again when I became a freshman in high school and he was a senior. Sounds like normal kid stuff. It doesn't mean the older child no longer likes our child, but merely wants more space. I agree with Chantelle. Let the girls be. Encourage the younger child to get into an activity or group of friends to take her mind off her sister ignoring her. They will work things out eventually.
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  #5  
January 12th, 2009, 01:48 PM
JustBecca's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I agree with Chantelle. I have no other advice.
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  #6  
January 12th, 2009, 01:53 PM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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Just one thing to consider, in a family, not a blended one, we all bond together. When you blend a family, you don't get to choose these siblings, there's anger, tension, jealousy, all sorts of feelings, double the amount of tension that you would have in a normal family. With kids, even in an a normal situation, kids are at each other's throats & are annoyed non-stop, you can imagine the feelings you get w/ kids who are forced to be in a family when they have no choice & have to be w/ kids that are an instant brother or sister. KWIM? Just an extra thought.
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  #7  
January 12th, 2009, 02:13 PM
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So true Chantelle. It just becomes tough when your child is getting hurt by it.
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  #8  
January 14th, 2009, 06:08 AM
*Kiliki*'s Avatar i have absolute power
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ohh i am sure there is jealousy there a bit.....not only of just my 8yr old but all her sisters...cause they are with their dad ALL the time....she doesnt get to see her dad as often....and shes vocalized those feelings before....being that she lives in another state than us there is not much we can do about seeing her more often....she misses her dad so much throughout the year....and being 11 shes more interested in her own personal life and i get that...but i still cant help but feel bad for my 8yr old kwim?
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