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View Poll Results: For access to the private forum....check all that you think should apply to get password
THIS IS NOT A DEBATE. THIS IS FOR INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY!
I know that some of you are aware of the situation that has gone on with the Blended Families in the last day. If anyone was upset I am sorry about that. I would like to make sure that this does not happen again. I would like to know how everyone that is a part of this board feels about certain things. This way if need be I can ask that the requirements to join the private forum be changed. Also if you have something else that you think should be added to the requirements please let me know. Please explain if you would like. If you would rather PM your answers that is fine too. I would like to make this a board that everyone feels like they belong and I am not trying to dis-include someone because of how I personally feel. Yes I am the host but this is not MY board it is ALL of ours.
For the purposes of this poll I am using:
woman: female, wife, mother, girlfriend, etc
man: male, husband, father, boyfriend, etc
I will leave this up for a few days to give everyone the chance to do it.
Thanks so much.
Thank you ~* Helen *~ for the best all about me siggie! You are absolutely fabulous!
I think that the private forum should require more posts on the board. Some days, it is easier to make 15 posts because of the everyday topics that are included on the board. Maybe making it 25-30 posts. Make getting access more time consuming than waiting 30 days and posting just 15. If you are serious about getting in, then make it a priority to post. Or maybe making a chit chat subforum. That way we know that the people who are posting on the main board are focused on the topic of blended families. I love the chit chat, don't get me wrong, but maybe it should be posted in a place where it doesn't count toward the private forum.
IMHO, this whole situation was out of line. By the time DH and I had been together for over a year, we were already married. Just because I jumped in feet first doesn't mean someone else would. If someone is seriously committed to someone that has a child, why not let them in to help them out. They need to vent and talk in a safe place too.
And I think that the password should be changed if you get the feeling someone may abuse it. If someone leaves on bad terms and you aren't sure if they may hand it out, then change it. Otherwise we may be stuck learning new passwords all the time.
I am married to my DH, have been for a long time. We have 2 bio-boys together. I have a son from a previous RELATIONSHIP (not marriage)... My DH has a son from a previous MARRIAGE (ex-wife), MY EX is re-married & is expecting twins any day now. My DH's ex is not remarried & does not have any more children. In total, we have 4 boys, all children live w/ us except DH's son, he lives w/ his bio-mom.
As far as the private forum for Mom's House/Dad's House, it's a place to go & discuss issues that the members on JM are uncomfy that lurking eyes could potentially see the posts. There's nothing worst than ex's seeing certain topics. We've already seen ex-wives or the step-mom's lurk on the board & cause some drama. It's not a good thing, I think we can all agree, not to mention, it could be used against us in a bad way.
When it comes to changing the password(s). It should be changed every now & then for security purposes, just like everything else in life, banks do it, cell phones etc. Also, if we have/had a member who were on the board who decided to leave and gained access to the private forum & left the board on extreme terms (not good), perhaps that would be a good reason to change it as well? I don't know, but if someone is angry, having access to a private forum might not be the best idea. Kind of like changing the locks from an apartment after someone has to be evicted from an apartment? I know that analogy is a bit extreme but it's the best analogy I could think of.
I voted but me and DF will be getting married at the end of this year and i have one child from a dead beat who i should have never been with but cant change that now and DF has took on the role of being daddy.
I was reviewing the responses and was a little surprised at a few. But I do think it's ok to invite someone that's seriously dating & may potentially end up being a blended family. We were all in that boat once I imagine. It would have been nice to come & talk about it before hand. Get some pointers before I made all the mistakes
As far as the password, I agree that it should be changed periodically. And definitey should be changed if someone leaves in anger.
In another private forum I'm on in this board, we saw some really, really ugly things happen when the wrong person had the password. This person actually went in to the private forum, read everything & then posted some really personal stuff about others on the main forum. It was really bad.
As far as the poll, I am glad we are doing this now, not sure what happened to cause it but I like that we are doing this now. (yes I know I said it twice ) I voted married, re-married, engaged/living together, and common law because when I think of "Blended Family" I think commitment, not just dating someone with a kid. I also voted ALL the BOTH men and women questions but I think I misunderstood what it said. I don't mind a relationship where one or the other has a child and the other doesn't. And the password I said maybe becasue as Chantelle said, privacy reasons we need to update passwords frequently.