thanks guys!
i do feel a bit better today. plus last night he kept calling and i was getting my hair done so i didn't answer. finally he sent a text and asked where i was. i reasponded....bed. talk to you later. well he called and i pretended i was asleep and he could tell i was not enthusiastic at all to speak with him. and he finally said, well this probably won't be a good conversation so i can talk to you tomorrow. i was like, bye, click.
i sent an email this morning...it went like this..
"I just wanted to let you know how sad, and frankly, how hurt my feelings are concerning my bday weekend and our plans.
It just reinforces once again where I stand. It's not even the point of going away, it's the fact that it was more important for you to accommodate your ex so she could go away, rather than keep your plans with me.
What about our plans? It doesn't matter that the plane tickets weren't figured out yet, we had plans up until she said she wanted to do something and she had plans. We have been talking about this for weeks, ever since you asked me to go once your sons 'schedule' was figured out. A schedule which worked out perfectly for everyone in my opinion.
It's just very upsetting that you were more than willing (without even having the respect or common courtesy for me to discuss it with me first-or even mention that you were going to change our plans) to throw our weekend away, so she could go away for ONE night. That's the worst part, I don't even matter enough to be told of this change until it had already been done.
I was so upset yesterday. Not because of the weekend being thrown away, but because I STILL don't figure in and matter enough in your life to take my feelings in consideration. "
the best part is weve been together for 4 years basically. but i've never felt like there was true, true commitment because i always felt dumped when it came to his kid. but i also need as much attention as a child sometimes!
he got the email, but didn't respond. but he never does. but i really don't think thats why we aren't going away. i don't think he'd bag our weekend to help her go away really. but then again, he is supposed to tell her about my pregnancy this weekend i think and i think he has been trying to butter her up and stuff. she will probably freak.
and you are right, i'd rather have someone who is not a deadbeat dad. i do admire his dedication to his son, but i also need dedication. i also believe that for things to work with he and i, we have to put each other first then kids. i don' tknow. it's so hard. i don't know how anyone make a blended family work. i really don't.
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