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  #1  
January 23rd, 2009, 11:20 AM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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Hey gals... got the "new list" of my DSS allergies... note, this is NOT a joke...NOT a joke...

So I'll just give you the REVISED version of my DSS' allergies which are a freaking joke. He basically can eat, uh...nothing? yeah.. nothing... drink, soda, water & eat nothing...

He supposedly needs this b/c someone next to him in school was eating an apple & he started to have a panic attack. So she went, did a HOME test & now he's allergic to all of this. WHAT EVER!!!!
  • artificial nuts
  • beer nuts
  • ground nuts
  • mandelonas
  • mixed nuts
  • monkey nuts
  • peanuts
  • peanut flour
  • nut pieces
  • peanut oil
  • peanut butter
  • Nu-nuts flavored nuts
BUT... he is allowed to have PEANUT M&M's per his mother's note (yeah...what ever)...

Then...
  • Sunflower seeds
  • nougat
  • marzipan
  • enchilada sauce
  • egg rolls
  • chili
  • candy (including chocolate candy)
  • baked goods (pastries, cookies etc.)
  • Vietnamese dishes, African dishes, Indonesian, Mexican, Thai dishes
Then...
  • Birch, Ragweed, Grass & Mugwart Pollen
Then....
  • apples, pears, almonds, apricots, cherries, peaches, nectarines, prunes, plums, kiwi, carrots, celery, fennel, parsley, parsnip, hazel nut.
Then...
  • Banana, watermelon, cantaloupe, honeydew, zucchini, cucumber, dandelions, and chamomile tea
Then...
  • Tomatoe, oranges (BUT, NOT ORANGE JUICE, MAKES NO SENSE!!!!), and melon
Then...
  • coriander, peppers
Then...

Shell-fish
  • abalone
  • clam
  • crab
  • crawfish
  • lobster
  • mussles
  • scallops
  • mollusks
  • shrimp
  • cockle
  • fish stock
Then...
  • Sesame
  • coconut
  • pistachios
  • cashew butter
  • Tree nuts (which are added to BBQ sauces, cereals, crackers & ice creams).
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  #2  
January 23rd, 2009, 11:44 AM
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That's insane!

I love this list.... Chili??? Egg rolls??? You might be allergic to a specific ingredient but not a whole dish like chili! All candy -- that's so vague... Baked goods -- What???? Even people with egg allergies can eat eggless bake goods or wheat allergies can eat wheat free baked goods.

Sunflower seeds
nougat
marzipan
enchilada sauce
egg rolls
chili
candy (including chocolate candy)
baked goods (pastries, cookies etc.)
Vietnamese dishes, African dishes, Indonesian, Mexican, Thai dishes
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  #3  
January 23rd, 2009, 11:59 AM
Christy72
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Did his mother make that list? If so has your dh ever seen the doc with him?
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  #4  
January 23rd, 2009, 12:52 PM
*Leslie*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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What in the world is left (literally). That's crazy. Did this list come straight from doc, or is it secondhand via mom?
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  #5  
January 24th, 2009, 07:31 AM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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This is a list from his mother. My DH said to bio-mom last night on the phone "I want a second opinion" then I heard "no, me"...then I heard "everything you have said contradicts what he does, he's fine when he eats all of this food, I want a second opinion..." then I heard screaming on the other end (from her)... and that was when I walked away b/c my grandfather has been in the hospital & is still in the hospital in bad shape, so talking to his bio-mom about her retarded "claims" was something I didn't want to do.

Bio-mom PRINTED OUT something on-line from foodallergy.org, gave it to DH & highlighted everything, underlined everything & then wrote additional stuff in HER handwritting & said "he's allergic to peanut & peanut butter but he can have peanut M&M's"... literally that is on the paper. I should scan it in for you guys to see this, it's crazy.

I told DH "she did a home test that does NOT exist & then printed out papers from the internet & now is making your son take all these steroid inhalers? it's YOUR son, you do what YOU want, but if this were my kid, I wouldn't be too happy & I wouldn't want him on all this crap"... then I added "he's already taking concerta, the highest dose he can take, he's on 4 other things & he's a zombie, now you have him on inhalers which I take myself & they make you jittery & shaky, totally opposite to what you guys want him to be w/ the concerta medications, which means he's going to be a mess, let alone the part that he will be gaining weight from the steroids from the inhalers AND our insurance doesn't cover these inhalers unless a doctor prescribes them!"

My DH said "let her do what she wants because she is going to do what ever she wants anyways, that's her deal". I said "uh... you're the father, YOU have rights & YOU pay the insurance, YOU can say NO, and as YOUR wife, I am NOT paying or assisting in the cost of this ridiculous claim that she has for your son's so-called allergies until a doctor actually says he has this stuff, not a print out from a computer that she did from her job!" At this point I dropped it b/c once again, my DH does what he always does, tunes me out & doesn't listen.

I gave him my son's immunologist card from Children's Boston & said "they're excellent but they're booked at least 3 month's out, call & book him an appointment & take him on YOUR time, we'll pay the full cost of the co-pay & for all the tests/results". He said nothing.

She's nuts. As you guys said, what else is there left to eat? Seriously? I said to DH "what can you do at a restaurant? order him water? because at this point there MIGHT be a chance that peanut oil or some sort of nut oil might be in the food preperation & he could go into his "ANAPHYLAXIS"... and could die" at least according to her.

Again, she's crazy. The she told my DH that he had to memorize all of these "allergies"... WHAT EVER!!! He's not allergic to all this stuff. I've watched him devour fish, seafood, peanuts, apples, strawberries, all of this stuff & never once, not for a second, has he ever sniffed, choked, or broke out in hives. I think after all this time something would have happened? Anything? Honestly, nothing has happened. All that he's ever said was that his lips felt "big" after he ate pineapple. They "felt" big... his lips. They never changed & that was the only thing that ever happened & that was like 2 year's ago. So maybe pineapple but c'mon people, seriously?

I finally told my DH last night... "she's on the extreme in that she doesn't neglect her son but she wants to create issues for him like that disease munchausen syndrome". It's so freaking obvious after this it's screaming at me in neon lights.
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  #6  
January 24th, 2009, 07:40 AM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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To add.. I said to DH "how is it that he can have O.J. but not eat oranges?" he said "she told me how it was processed & broken down"... so I said "so if I hand squeeze the juice he can't have it? it has to be from a processed machine of some sort & if so, how do you know for sure that it's processed the appropriate way?" then I said "how is it that all peanut oils, butters & so on are a big NO, NO...but he can eat peanut M&M's but then it says he can't eat candy & chocolate, that totally doesn't make sense. Either he can or cannot have peanuts or he can or cannot have chocolate, which one is it?" Again he looked at me & said "I don't know, it makes no sense"... he shooke his head & said "I don't buy it"... he actually agrees but I guess he doesn't seem to care? On the same note, he took his son & got PIZZA w/ all these SPICES just this past Thursday.. thought some of those were a big "no" too? Such a freaking crock. I can't stand this crap. It's crap. That's what this is, crap, a bunch of bogus crap.
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  #7  
January 24th, 2009, 10:38 AM
SFGiantsGirl's Avatar Super Mommy
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WOW!!! Im not on here very much. Its been a while but I just have to say wow, I am soo sorry that you have to deal with that! OMG, in a way though that sounds like something that my SO's daughters bio mom would do to him, just to spite us and make our life more difficult. I would def take him to a doctor and get him allergy tested and get a list from the doctor and show her. I agree with you, how can he have peanut m&m's but he can't have peanuts or chocolate or candy, and yet that has both! And total food dishes, how is he supposed to eat?

GL girl..you need it. I hope it gets better. And I hope that your Grandfather gets better. I know the stress of that going on. Unfortunately I had to deal with that this past year with my Grandmother being in the hospital for a few months. She didn't win her battle but at least she is now not in pain. I will be thinking of you and praying for you and your family!!!
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  #8  
January 24th, 2009, 12:34 PM
*Leslie*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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As I read your post I was thinking the whole time "This sounds exactly like Muchausen syndrome by proxy". I'm a social worker and have done reports on this. It is exactly what it sounds like.... She is using this to attract attention, sympathy, or to fulfill some other emotional need.
Does your Dh not see that this could damage his DS not only emotionally, but physically with the medications and stuff.
I hope you can get through to him, because this may only get worse. Goodluck!!
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  #9  
January 24th, 2009, 01:39 PM
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Location: Texas
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BM should rush herself to the hospital. SHE IS NUTS! CERTIFIABLE! I have never even heard of monkey nuts? If those are true nuts, where does one find those? DH has got to get his son into a real dr asap to stop this madness. Then he has to take the results to a lawyer and get advice on if this is a case of medical abuse. Just put the kid in a coffin now. He is at death's door. All those allergies! How has he survived to this age?! LMAO. I cannot imagine.
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  #10  
January 26th, 2009, 06:37 AM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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Quote:
As I read your post I was thinking the whole time "This sounds exactly like Muchausen syndrome by proxy". I'm a social worker and have done reports on this. It is exactly what it sounds like.... She is using this to attract attention, sympathy, or to fulfill some other emotional need.
Does your Dh not see that this could damage his DS not only emotionally, but physically with the medications and stuff.
I hope you can get through to him, because this may only get worse. Goodluck!![/b]
THANK YOU!!! I am not the only one who sees this... My God, here I am all these years saying "this woman is the opposite of one who neglects her kids & doesn't take them to the doctors but she CREATES falls medical conditions all the time, no joke. One time she claimed her son had a broken foot. She said a bone was sticking out. I wont get into the details but I ended up in the ER, pregnant & waiting a long time for this child to have XRays as he laughed & wanted to walk...sorry, but if you have anything broken or fractured, you cannot apply pressure & it's black & blue & you are in pain, not the opposite. Long story short, when I compared the child's foot/ankle to the other FINE foot/ankle, it was the same look/feel. Now... there "could" have been a hairline fracture, but in this case, he was walking around & said "I want to go home"... hours later he was sent home fine.

Same w/ the medications. She has him on the highest dosage of Concerta. He doesn't need it! He doesn't have ADHD. In fact, every year the school does these tests on the kids to determine if the child needs the medications or not. Long story short, this past year, the principal, social workers & counselors of the school, sat in on many of DSS' classes, and all came back w/ the same results/findings. He wasn't a child who needed ADHD or ADD medications b/c they thought that he didn't have this at all. That he had a bad mouth on him, talked too much & had a behavioral problem which stemmed from immaturity, not a mental health problem. She pulled the child out of the school & now he's in another school so she could keep him on the medications & increase the medications. I had said to DH "36 mg is the highest concerta goes to, what happens when he gets used to that dosage?" he said "I don't know"... what? then, no seriously?

She is constantly calling up either screaming, crying or acting like the child is dying or on fire. Those are the calls that we get. Not "hey, he has an apt for parent/teacher"... or "he's been difficult at home" or "he has a play next month"...never those calls, in fact, he does have plays, she never calls my DH to tell him though, she neglects that, but she'll call & say "OMG, he needs to be taken to the hospital or the doctors for urgent care!" Like last month, he was playing in gym class, he fell on the floor & complained of a head ache & went to the school nurse (he does this at least twice a month, maybe more), she picked him up, and rushed him to the doctor's office b/c he must be sick or something bad happened. It's that bad.

Then when I say to DH "do you see this?" he'll say "I have to go by what she tells me, she's w/ him more"...uh...no he doesn't, she's nuts. MONKEY NUTS MAYBE???? No really. I'd be asking for a 2nd, 3rd, 4th opinion & I'd be telling her "NO" on every freaking new diagnosis that she comes up w/.

Did I mention that when DSS comes to the house & he doesn't want to do something (like help clean or do chores), he'll go into the bathroom & make himself throwup just so he can get out of doing it? Then the moment my DH says "okay, just go lay down & watch TV, I catch him sneaking candy bars, junk food (that my DH bought for him cause I don't buy that junk), and he's dancing or playing in the family room. Meanwhile minutes prior, he's throwing up in the bathroom & acting like he's dying. Then he'll say "you should call mom & tell her I'm sick, I should go home & go to the doctors". Cause he hates coming over b/c I have rules, he hates my rules & he hates that I enforce them. Oh well...

Is it considered abuse or reportable when a child is has all the signs of Muchausen syndrome by proxy? What do you do w/ that/this sort of thing?
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  #11  
January 26th, 2009, 02:39 PM
JustBecca's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I think that you should make a call to the local CPS where she is and just ask them about it. She is GOING to damage this child IF she already hasn't. To me this should be considered abuse if she is planning on giving him an epi if he doesn't need it. I know that here for our schools that because my children have allergies that they NEED a note from a DR that states what they can not have. The nurse at the school even gave me the food book for everything that they offer for breakfast and lunch and how they prepare it and I have to make a LIST of EVERYTHING that they can not have based on that and then also have the note from the DR. Do they not do that there? Also a school should have an epi pen there if it is needed and are they just going to take it without the DR's ok for it?

She is a monkey nut!
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  #12  
January 27th, 2009, 04:53 AM
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That is exactly what is happening with my DSD, mom said she has allergies and especially not to give her eggs. We always do and she is fine. We have taken her to our own doc (without telling bio mom) and turns out the kid is fine and has absolutely no allergies. Just mild dermatitis now and that. That does not need medication, but bio-mom gives her cortisone......i mean ***? Cortisone to an 8 year old? That absurd.....Dh told her, bio mom insists. No point in messing with it It is sad.....BUT i still give her eggs whenever she comes. She loves them. What can i do?
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  #13  
January 27th, 2009, 08:34 AM
Christy72
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Wow, I agree she is nuts. I would call CPS. Is she medicating him without a perscription?????
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  #14  
January 27th, 2009, 12:19 PM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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For his "so-called-allergies"... yes... not for the ADD... but now I am thinking that he doesn't have ADD, I am thinking poor parenting & that he is just messed up & needs a big hug & the mother would rather do nothing than care for her child & instead overmedicate the child w/ stuff for ADD. The teachers have all said he's fine, yet she INSISTS he is not. Same w/ the counselors & the principals, he's fine...but she thinks otherwise. Hmmm.... what do you think? I am thinking she wants him on a lot of medications because she is missing some screws perhaps? I don't know. I feel badly for him. He's got a poor example & is being told that he's sick w/ all these things & he's really not. He thinks he's crazy or ill, he's not. That's a horrible thing for a child to think. Being sick isn't fun.

It's not my son, I have no legal rights to him yet I feel obligated some how.
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  #15  
January 27th, 2009, 03:10 PM
Christy72
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How is she getting inhaled steroids without a prescription????
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  #16  
January 28th, 2009, 11:32 AM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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People get Rx's w/ out a written doc's prescription daily. Costs full price but it's obtainable. My grandparents have to do it when they visit from Canada b/c their insurance doesn't cover their Rx's here so they pay full price. Same w/ my DH, his doc "RECOMMENDED" an Rx & our insurance refused the coverage, we are paying full cost, big bucks... but you can do it mail-order to save $ if you want to buy in bulk. People do it all the time. It's something that happens daily. But if you take an Rx for the WRONG reasons, and you don't have a medical problem in the first place, and take the medications, then you are risking your life/health, that's a very bad thing to do.

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  #17  
January 30th, 2009, 07:10 AM
Christy72
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Ahhh good to know Chantelle. WOW she is a nutcase. Sorry but she is.
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  #18  
February 2nd, 2009, 10:29 PM
AndreaRenee's Avatar raising boys...
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omg how crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im like in shock!
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  #19  
February 3rd, 2009, 06:46 AM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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Don't be... nothing shocks me about her anymore... seriously, this is normal for her.
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  #20  
February 3rd, 2009, 06:08 PM
TallyGirl22's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Wow I'm sorry hun! Thats a lot to deal with! I'd definitely be pushing for a PROFESSIONAL opinion!
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