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View Poll Results: Do you want a CS forum for our gripes & issues about CS?
Becca & I were talking this morning, and we thought of creating a sub forum for BF where we just discuss CS b/c so many of us have issues w/ it. Obviously, this subject can be difficult & we don't want the world to see it, so we'd make it a private forum (password required), same requirements to get the password as our other private forum.
Do you guys think this is something you'd like or no?
BTW, the persons that have access to the private forum now, would automatically get the password for the CS board too.
Well, it seems in an effort to be open to the suggestion, I have made it a complete tie. LOL
I don't think it's necessary but I am not that active on the board anymore so I may have missed some posts about it. I think that it can be handled just fine on the private or public forum and unless it becomes a really hot topic that takes over the forum, I don't think it will be difficult to handle there. If at some point it overwhelmes the forum, then I think a sub-forum would be a great idea. You could also do a sub-forum that IS NOT password protected if you are just looking to keep those posts separated from the rest of the posts--I have 2 non-password protected sub-forums on D&S, plus one password protected one. It keeps certain issues separate--one is for women who are trying to save their marriage and one is for custody issues. Neither issue is separate from a relationship standpoint and both have something to do with the forum topic but they are still a little separate--obviously the trying to work things out forum doesn't belong with the regular divorce issues. So you might consider having it separate, but not password protected--you could always change that later on down the road.
The only reason we'd have a password on it is b/c the people who haven't gone through & would be going through CS in the near future, having the potential "ex's" see the post, could, hurt their case or make things sticky. At the same time, there are lots of people on the board that can answer basic questions on CS that have BTDT, obviously the referrals aren't going to be 100% since we're not attorney's for their case & don't have that type of power, but sometimes it's nice to be able to gripe about the fears of an upcoming CS case or an existing one that has gone sour.
Becca had mentioned to me over the phone & I figured I'd poll it to see if you guys would or would not be interested.
On the other hand... Kris makes a great point in that the board isn't exactly flowing constantly, b/c our issues aren't in the "fluff" category (most of the time), so maybe it would make the sub forum even less viewed.
I see it both ways. Just curious on the responses from all that come & are part of the BF's.
I had suggested it because it seems like in every post that we have these days turns into CS. And then on top of that we have new people coming in all the time and asking what is the best amount of CS, why is my DH paying too much, how can I get it reduced and the ex is not using the CS right type of questions. I thought that if there was a certain place that is about CS and only about CS that it would make things easier for those people.
Thank you ~* Helen *~ for the best all about me siggie! You are absolutely fabulous!
I see your point. It makes sense that if it's become a major topic of discussion on the board, it may be worthwhile to have a separate forum. The only thing that I would caution about is that (especially with the changes JM has made to the boards) it's easy to overlook the private/semi-private forums on a particular board. When you come in and scroll down the list, there are the private forums, the separate forums the announcements and then finally--almost as an afterthought--the forum topics themselves. I have caught myself sometimes scrolling past the first and second part, straight to the main topics and not even noticing if there is anything new on the private/semi-private forums. I've gone 2 or 3 days doing this and missing some posts and I am SUPPOSED to check mine daily (in my book anyway) so if I am missing them, I have to wonder who else might be...KWIM? A good example is the "EX-ETIQUETTE FOR PARENTS" sub-forum. There hasn't been a post in there since February...maybe you could just change the name of that forum? Just a thought...
Last edited by Blondzilla; July 18th, 2009 at 06:05 AM.
I agree w/ both Kris/Dani & Becca... as Becca mentioned we all have our issues w/ CS, we get a lot of lurkers who ask about getting it reduced, having it increased, enforcing it... it ends up being a very powerful & constant issue. The only reason I figured it would nice to have it "private" was b/c there are others (like the person that is being taken to court for CS) who lurk & then find info that we don't want them to see. In this case, that we are potentially modifying the existing order, discussing stuff to that nature.
On the other point, if it's private, those who are coming to our boards that are new to BF's, aren't going to necessarily qualify for the password right away, which could turn people off. Then again, if we have it public, it's open for ALL EYES TO SEE... hence the reason I'd be concerned.
Then I also see Kris' P.O.V. in that the board itself doesn't have a lot of traffic so to add an additional sub-forum, might be pointless.
I dunno... I just figured that it would be a suggestion, seeing what you all thought, your opinions do matter & we welcome suggestions in making BF's better, or perhaps adding things that you'd like to see change in general.
We want to provide a safe place for people to view information as well as to discuss serious cases of CS, which can be a very scary when you're not familiar w/ the process of CS at all.