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  #1  
July 21st, 2009, 06:29 AM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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That you would be involved in a BF growing up? Did you think you'd have to endure the whole "ex-factor" & "CS" issues? Do you have regrets & if you could do it over again, would you change anything?

-I didn't think I'd be involved in my BF situation, not at all... it's made me strong, that's for sure. If I could do things again, I would have allowed my DSS inside of my heart a lot sooner instead of pushing him away. He used to test me by pushing my buttons, and I allowed him to push me away, because I was stubborn myself, I fell into his trap of "tests" and finally I let that go & started a new journey w/ him, life is so much better now. I'm glad we're in a different place. As far as my ex & his wife etc., I think for me, I'd put my foot down a lot sooner about issues that are now where they are suppose to be. It took years of courage to do the right thing, I'm glad I made the right decisions & did what was right for my family & my DS.



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  #2  
July 22nd, 2009, 12:04 AM
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Not really. My parents are still married and that's what kind of environment I was raised in. I had friends whose parents were divorced and remarried and I thought they were all just irresponsible, crazy people LOL! I knew what marriage was supposed to be....as I got older I realized it ISN'T always what it's supposed to be......

Dh and I actually met in 9th grade. We were "just friends" back then. Ten years later we got married. I joke about how, if we had been together all that time, we wouldn't have SD. So, the way it happened, we met, were friends, i went to college, he went and got his gf knocked up and had a kid....then years later, we are together as an instant family, with a baby on the way (found out i was pg JUST after our wedding LOL)
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  #3  
July 22nd, 2009, 12:45 AM
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Well I never expected to be a single parent.... but then I was. Then I dated those without kids, and couldn't stand their immaturity. It wasn't their fault, we all were young. But that is why it ultimately led me to my boyfriend, who was a single father himself. We certainly didn't expect to be a blended family, but it works well for us
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  #4  
July 22nd, 2009, 03:44 AM
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Oh Lord no! I took my vows seriously and figured I would be married to my ex forever! Thankfully, it just seemed that long. LMAO
Tom and I have talked about what if...what if we'd met in our 20s before either of us had gotten married...what if we'd had these kids ourselves instead of with other people. We both agree things happened the best way. We were different people back then and could not have had as good a marriage as we have now that we've both been through so much. Things worked out like they were supposed to but I never would have believed 20 years ago I would be where I am now...but then...who does?
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  #5  
July 22nd, 2009, 04:50 AM
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I kinda thought I would be since I liked older and more mature men and lots of them come with baggage these days. I didn't expect to have my own child though, that was a surprise and a great one.

I have no regrets. I met someone who became my best friend and we have great chemistry so not marrying him because he had a daughter would be silly. We actually have a great family dynamic now with his daughter living here permanently.
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  #6  
July 22nd, 2009, 06:46 AM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2Froggy View Post
Well I never expected to be a single parent.... but then I was. Then I dated those without kids, and couldn't stand their immaturity. It wasn't their fault, we all were young. But that is why it ultimately led me to my boyfriend, who was a single father himself. We certainly didn't expect to be a blended family, but it works well for us

I can relate to that... I too was a single parent for several years & dated many w/ out kids. I must say that they were immature. The flip to that, once I dated my now DH, I realized how hard it would be to date someone w/ an "ex"... which wasn't something I was prepared for. I figured that I could handle it well, being an adult, but no one prepares you for the ex who has issues with another person (me) coming into their child lives. No one had prepared me for that or for my DSS to be so angry with me & DH marrying, having more children & having to share his dad w/ me. That...was hard...still is.
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  #7  
July 22nd, 2009, 09:17 AM
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No I never expected this. My parents have been married for 46 years. My sister for 28. Divorce isn't in my genetic makeup . But here I am.

I'm glad I married dh. He is my soul mate. He's my other half. I love him more today than the day we married.

I wish things were better with his dds. But I can't control that. So we deal with what we have.
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  #8  
July 22nd, 2009, 11:58 AM
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That's a positive thing to hear Kris... so what makes you love your DH more today than when you married him? I am curious... inquiring minds want/need to know. I didn't know it was possible to be more in-love w/ your other half, sometimes I feel like my DH annoys me more today than he used too when we first married.
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  #9  
July 24th, 2009, 05:12 PM
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I never expected to be in a blended family, however, for me I think that is the only fit for me. My ex is a royal jerk and doesn't take care of my daughter. My boyfriend has custody of his son and we fit together perfectly with our kids. We have our moments, but it is sooooo much easier to date someone with their own kid, because those without kids don't always understand the "my kids sick/the boogeymonster kept her up/we need to go trick or treating" and such. I love my blended family, it works well for us
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  #10  
July 24th, 2009, 05:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2Froggy View Post
I never expected to be in a blended family, however, for me I think that is the only fit for me. My ex is a royal jerk and doesn't take care of my daughter. My boyfriend has custody of his son and we fit together perfectly with our kids. We have our moments, but it is sooooo much easier to date someone with their own kid, because those without kids don't always understand the "my kids sick/the boogeymonster kept her up/we need to go trick or treating" and such. I love my blended family, it works well for us
love your attitude on this.......

as for the question no i never expected to be part of a blended family (although i come from a broken 1 parent 2 grandparent home), but i never (till now) had to endure either bad x behavior, problems with child support or any other kind of drama, including behavioral problems or problems with how i felt for her with my step-daughter. One drama that is lurking was mentioned in the private forum but that is also something almost deleted and distant. So my blended family experience was not bad at all.
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  #11  
July 24th, 2009, 08:28 PM
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Originally Posted by blundoboys View Post
That's a positive thing to hear Kris... so what makes you love your DH more today than when you married him? I am curious... inquiring minds want/need to know. I didn't know it was possible to be more in-love w/ your other half, sometimes I feel like my DH annoys me more today than he used too when we first married.

Too funny Chantelle.

My Dh is wonderful. He loves me so much. He accepts & understands me even when I'm a little crazy. When I lost my job, he just said "everything's going to be ok" When I spent 6 weeks with the kids still in daycare and did absolutely nothing except look for a job for 2 hours per day, he understood. He didn't get mad that the house wasn't cleaned or anything.

He adopted Lucy. No questions asked. He loves her as much as his 3 other children. He's an amazing dad.

But most of all, we just fit together. We don't fight. We think the same way. We agree on almost everything. And he makes me laugh at least once a day. It's just so easy.
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  #12  
July 25th, 2009, 02:23 PM
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Originally Posted by My2miracles View Post
Too funny Chantelle.

My Dh is wonderful. He loves me so much. He accepts & understands me even when I'm a little crazy. When I lost my job, he just said "everything's going to be ok" When I spent 6 weeks with the kids still in daycare and did absolutely nothing except look for a job for 2 hours per day, he understood. He didn't get mad that the house wasn't cleaned or anything.

He adopted Lucy. No questions asked. He loves her as much as his 3 other children. He's an amazing dad.

But most of all, we just fit together. We don't fight. We think the same way. We agree on almost everything. And he makes me laugh at least once a day. It's just so easy.
Never fight, everything fits, you agree on almost everything... wow... does he have a brother? j/k Sometimes I wonder about me & my DH... have you ever watched the show King of Queens? The relationship w/ Carrie & Doug? That's me & DH...very loud, I've been compared to Marisa Tomeii from the movie "My Cousin Vinny"... except I do not have that accent (French is my 1st language, so I don't sound like I came from New Jersey). I guess I see it... I think I've toned it down over the years but my friends might have a different opinion.
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  #13  
July 26th, 2009, 06:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by My2miracles View Post
Too funny Chantelle.

My Dh is wonderful. He loves me so much. He accepts & understands me even when I'm a little crazy. When I lost my job, he just said "everything's going to be ok" When I spent 6 weeks with the kids still in daycare and did absolutely nothing except look for a job for 2 hours per day, he understood. He didn't get mad that the house wasn't cleaned or anything.

He adopted Lucy. No questions asked. He loves her as much as his 3 other children. He's an amazing dad.

But most of all, we just fit together. We don't fight. We think the same way. We agree on almost everything. And he makes me laugh at least once a day. It's just so easy.
I am jealous! U are lucky! ....most people strive to find this all their lives and never do. You did
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  #14  
July 26th, 2009, 08:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Ellemphriem View Post
I am jealous! U are lucky! ....most people strive to find this all their lives and never do. You did

Well it took me 1/2 a lifetime. I didn't meet him until I was 39.
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  #15  
July 26th, 2009, 06:30 PM
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I never expected to be in BF. Something it is hard, but rewarding at the same time.
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  #16  
July 27th, 2009, 10:55 AM
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I always thought I'd marry and have two kids, one boy and one girl and that would be my life. Like my parents. I fought really really hard to save my first marriage. It took me a long time to get it - that I couldn't love him enough for both of us and I wasn't a failure and neither was my marriage. I stuck it out longer than I should have, but I don't regret my marriage to him, the time I spent trying to save it or my divorce.
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