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  #1  
October 6th, 2009, 04:12 AM
Marissa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Hello all.

I use to post on here abit way back, about last yearish, but since havent stopped by and havent been on JM much until the last couple of days, so i thought i would do a re-introduction, since there are some new people and if the older members of this forum don't remember me

I'm Marissa, I'm 22. I'm girlfriend to Buddy. We're TTC our first child together with one angel, whom we named Noah. We've been trying on and off for - almost 3 years - and are currently "on" hopeing for our '01 baby. Buddy has a son from a previous relationship, named Joshua, i love him as if he were my own. We also have a furbaby named Roxy.

Can't wait to get to know everyone, again.
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  #2  
October 6th, 2009, 12:40 PM
Ellemphriem's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hi don't remember you! ......DH has a daughter from a previous marriage who is 9 now and a wonderful pre-teen....and we have a daughter together who is almost 1. Can't wait to get to know you! Good luck on your amazing TTC journey....
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  #3  
October 6th, 2009, 12:59 PM
Nikki.'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Last edited by Nikki.; October 10th, 2009 at 03:40 PM.
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  #4  
October 6th, 2009, 01:07 PM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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Welcome back Marissa, I am Chantelle, one of the co-hosts here on BF's.

I am both bio & step-mom. DH has a child from a previous marriage (he will turn 12 next mont), I have a son from a previous relationship (he turns 10 on Sat.) & then together DH & I had 2 more boys/children, a 3 year old & my 1 year old will be 2 in Dec.

Glad to see you on. How old is Joshua? How is the relationship between everyone w/ bi0-mom?

Welcome again & if there's anything I can do, feel free to PM me.

HUGS
~C

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  #5  
October 6th, 2009, 01:42 PM
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Welcome back! I don't think I was around when you were.

I'm Kris. I'm married to Bryan. He adopted my DD from a previous marriage & we have a 3 year old DS together. He has 2 DDs from his previous marriage 10 & 14. We're having issues with the 14 year old (go figure) so right now we are not blended in the least.
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  #6  
October 6th, 2009, 04:37 PM
Marissa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks girls

Joshua is 10. The relationship with between the bio mum has been abit rocky in the past after she tried her hardest to keep Buddy and Josh apart for as long as possible. He has missed birthdays, Christmas' until he stood up for himself a few years ago and said that if she didn't start being nicer and letting him be apart of Josh's life - he would take her to court to get visitation. She didn't want to go to court so her and Buddy worked out on an agreement - and what days we have him. After an incident last year where Buddy was away for 6 months of '08 - we get Josh every weekend now, and for a couple of weeks in the summer holidays and on the shorter breaks throughout the year from school a week.

As of right now, the relationship with Bio mum is alot better then what it has been. Though, i try not to put my opinion in too much of how Josh should be raised. If i have any concerns i go and talk to Buddy and he will raise those concerns to bio mum. They are the parents so whatever needs to be discussed, they talk to eachother. I'm too afraid that i was to ever say something, she'd get ticked off and not allow us to see Josh.
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  #7  
October 7th, 2009, 12:17 AM
Ellemphriem's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marissa View Post
As of right now, the relationship with Bio mum is alot better then what it has been. Though, i try not to put my opinion in too much of how Josh should be raised. If i have any concerns i go and talk to Buddy and he will raise those concerns to bio mum. They are the parents so whatever needs to be discussed, they talk to eachother. I'm too afraid that i was to ever say something, she'd get ticked off and not allow us to see Josh.
You do very well ......Keep it up and keep your nose out of it. That's what i do and everything is fine with us.....
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  #8  
October 7th, 2009, 05:57 AM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marissa View Post
Thanks girls

She didn't want to go to court so her and Buddy worked out on an agreement - and what days we have him. After an incident last year where Buddy was away for 6 months of '08 - we get Josh every weekend now, and for a couple of weeks in the summer holidays and on the shorter breaks throughout the year from school a week.
Question for you, is there anything done in legally w/ the courts pertaining to child support, legal custody & visitation? If there isn't...my strong advice ( no matter how well you think it's going ) is to go to court to establish a child-support order. I say this not to make things more complex but b/c if you don't & one day she wants to go to court for child-support (which she can do for free), and he hasn't been paying the right amount based on the money he makes, this could actually backfire to hurt him, he'd be responsible for arrears & a bunch of other stuff. I know that sometimes they think "oh, we're doing just fine on our own"...but I've seen it unfold, w/ people who had a very amicable situation, no issues really & then BAM! they were taken to court & their child-support was increased & it turned out that they hadn't been paying enough since the birth of the child & a bunch of $ was owed to the custodial-parent from the non-custodial parent. Just trying to plant that seed there if it hasn't been done. Also, keep a spreadsheet of what is paid, when & why, document EVERYTHING (if you don't already do that). And please, keep track of visitation, otherwise, again, this could backfire. That's the last thing you need. Not trying to scare you, b/c it sounds like the situation is even at this moment, but b/c I don't have the full history, I wanted to give the heads up on the potential future legal issues that would/could come up if they weren't already established.

Another question (if you don't mind)...why is bio-mom trying to stay out of court? What reasons does she have? Do you know? That just seems strange, most bio-moms want things done legally & in writing. But I've seen the reasons why some don't want too but I don't want to assume or jump to those conclusions as of right now which is why I ask.

Sounds like your DH is doing great w/ handling his ex w/ the visitation. It's nice to hear that a man/bio-dad, is stepping up for what he deserves as a father & what his rights are as well. Good for him. And good for you for allowing him to take charge & not getting into it w/ the bio-mom. It's great to hear that you have a positive spin on the situation & are able to allow your DH & his ex to handle things as they should be.


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