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I need your Help! - Picky Eater


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  #1  
October 6th, 2009, 07:48 AM
ToonTownGirl's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 729
So does anyone have any suggestions on what to do with our picky eaters? My SO and I are at our wits end.... we threaten to go to bed with no supper, and he challenges us, saying he "doesn't care" and we make him go. And it's not like I'm making sushi or anything... it's regular stuff... but he will not eat.... if it comes in a McD's wrapper, he would eat it til the cows come home..... cause that's what he gets with his BM.... but we don't eat that crap

Please help!!!!


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  #2  
October 6th, 2009, 12:35 PM
Ellemphriem's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Oh i so understand you. DSD does the same.....very picky eater. I cannot pass judgment though because her age i ate only meatballs, french fries and cumcumbers nothing else. And i mean NOTHING else. My parents didn't know what to do with me because i looked like a toothpick.....so they didn't fight me with foods i never ate. They kept feeding me cucumbers, meatballs and french fries.....i outgrew it. I think DSD is going through that phase also since they most get take away in her house...(mostly spaghetti).....so she eats very few foods. How we handle it? I never fight her. I introduce new foods to her that have 1 element of the food that she likes.....example.....spaghetti? i make lazagnia with meat or vegetables and cream......she eats it.....now if i try to feed her broccoli i might get it in the eye .......and most of the weekends she is here i make staff that she likes. She likes chicken.....i do chicken...or some of the foods in her limited list. And one out of the 4 times a month she is here we allow 1 take away (pizza).....that's about it. I never told her either you eat this or go to bed like that. I mean my parents never did that to me and i don't think it's nice to send a kid to bed without food just because they don't enjoy a particular cuisine. I mean i was like that too and i never did it to mift people....i did it because i honestly DIDN'T like it......so i would have felt bad really bad if they forced me to bed without eating. Does he like burgers? Ok, buy the bread and do the burger yourself and introduce it to him maybe he'll like it more than Mcdonald's and it will be 100% more healthy.....have you considered trying that?

PS: i mean i never force food even to Stephanie who is almost 1 now. I give her only home made foods and fruit juices (the only bought is yogurt), and if she doesn't like it i try other things.....it's not good to connect nasty feelings with food.....
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  #3  
October 6th, 2009, 12:53 PM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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You're not a ready cook chef, some kids are picky b/c that's what they're used too "OR" the ones that have the kids more tend to give into their "taste buds" which is what ever the kids want. I've been VERY much the opposite, I make what I make, if they don't eat it, they're not hungry. I know my DH doesnt' like green veggies & fish, but I do make it & if I make it, he makes his own meal or snacks on junk. IMHO, make a meal, serve the meal, if they don't eat it, that's fine, toss the food. I know it stinks to see food go to waste, but I promise you that they will not starve themselves, kids will eat if they are hungry, period. Unless the child has a food allergy or intolerance, there is no need for this drama. My DS had a sensory issue to food, which required OT for, my almost 2 year old is the same way, and has food allergies, including soy, cow's milk, dairy in general & dyes, so we have to be VERY careful w/ him, he's still on Alimentum formula too, and yes, he's 2 on formula....but taking it by a sippy cup, he's not on a bottle, bottles were gone at 1, the end.

Unless the child has a medical reason for not wanting to eat the foods that you've prepared, you don't give in. If they choose not to eat it, that's that, they don't eat. Trust me on this one. You might feel guilty & be tempted to make them a peanut butter sandwich or mac n' cheese, don't do it, what ever you have prepared is served, if they hungry, they will eat.

Heck, I make brussel sprouts & broccoli all the time. My kids love it, that's b/c that's what they grew up on & would rather eat a vegetarian meal than something w/ protein like chicken or beef, like sushi like Ahi Tuna, Liver, that's right, they have excellent ways of learning.

If the child is in school & gets hot lunch, that's another way of the child(ren) adjusting. My DS, Dominic, was fussy w/ foods, he would sit there for 2 hours or more playing w/ his food & then not eat & didn't care. He soon realized that when he went to school he either ate the foods they prepared or he didn't eat at all. After a week of starving himself at school, he stopped & begun to eat the school lunch. Now he's thankful for what I make b/c apparently school hot lunches aren't that great ...

HIH....again, if there are no intolerances or allergies to what you are making, don't budge, stand your ground. If you SO wants to give in, let him & let him be the mail order cook/chef & look like the fool. Don't do it though, don't give in. JMHO.

HUGS
~C
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  #4  
October 6th, 2009, 12:57 PM
Nikki.'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Last edited by Nikki.; October 10th, 2009 at 03:39 PM.
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  #5  
October 6th, 2009, 01:35 PM
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It's always tough with a picky eater. I actually called my mom a few years ago & apologized to her. I was a horribly picky eater (still am really) and now so is my dd. I so understand now what my mom went through.

I have a totally different philosophy on dealing with picky eaters because I am one. My parents tried to force me to eat things I didn't like and it never worked. I think I have sensitive taste buds. Fortunately my mom was a picky eater too. She never cooked anything different for me but she did modify some things. Like if she cooked beef stroganoff, she's leave some of the meat out & some of noodles out. I liked the meat & the noodles with butter.

I try to get my kids to try different things but in the end, we do cook them different things sometimes. They just don't have adult tastes.
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  #6  
October 6th, 2009, 05:32 PM
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I agree with Kris. If it's an issue that they may like it a little differently & it's not a big deal to hold something out, I don't think that hurts. My son doesn't like onions so I do that sometimes. I hated onions at his age & my Mom would put tons & I had to pick them out of everthing. I make him an enchalada or mini meatloaf to the side of ours. That's no problem & makes him feel that I'm considerate of his needs. My DSD is a picky eater sometimes but she also loves veggies. I try to always make at least one side dish that everbody likes. Sometimes DH makes fish, which I don't eat, and if we don't cook chicken along with it, I'll just eat the sides. The same goes for the kids. Try to figure out a side dish he will eat & have it at meals.

It's hard to say if it's just a defiance thing or if it's that they really don't like it. My DSD does the defiance thing sometimes. Sometimes she says she hates something that I know she likes. I know it's defiance by the extremity of her reaction. My rule is that everybody sits at the table and is polite even if they don't like what's on their plate. I also always give the option of a sandwich (no chips) & DH has always given the option of having fruit. If they are hungry, they will eat. If not, I'm not going to spank or anything to make them eat. They may get punished for behavior but not for eating/not eating.

If it's defiance.... like the "I don't care".... then it doesn't matter what you fix. Just try to teach and enforce table manners & politeness.
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  #7  
October 6th, 2009, 09:26 PM
ToonTownGirl's Avatar Super Mommy
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Well there are no allergies, or medical issues with this child. He is truthfully just spoiled and gets away with this crap at his BM's house. Last night was another incident. He sat at the table for 2 HOURS playing with his food. Food that he had eaten before, only a few weeks ago. And then it's suddenly, my leg hurts, or my eye hurts, or whatever. And SO and I are EXACTLY on the same page. You don't eat, too bad for you. Neither one of us gives in. SO told him, you eat, or you don't, that's your choice, but if you don't.... here are the consequences.

It's so frustrating, we had to take SO to the dentist on Saturday, and his dentist is in the mall, and the minute we left SO, DSS looks at me and says, I'm hungry get me A&W. And I looked at him and said, ok we had breakfast about 45 minutes ago, and no we aren't getting anything to eat here. And he's like... I'M HUNGRY.. and I just got right down to his level (remember he's about to be 9, and is less than 4 feet tall, a WHOLE other story) and looked him straight in the eye and told him, #1, you DO NOT talk to me in that tone, and #2, everytime that we come to the mall does NOT mean that you are getting crappy food. And he POUTED like a 2 year old. I just walked away from him. I wasn't about to acknowledge this bonehead like behaviour.

It's so frustrating because he is so small for his age (I think that FINALLY he's bigger than the kindergarten kids), and he's so skinny, but we both know that we can't give into these "temper tantrums". To us, it's an outright defiance, and we just don't put up with it.

While this situation was going on last night, SO and I went up to our room to talk about this, and agreed, we aren't giving into him, we BOTH refuse to make things differently for him. We are on a fixed budget, and I'm not about to start making 2 different things for supper. SO doesn't always like what I cook, but he eats it, cause he knows that's all that there is.

Thanks for all of your input ladies, and keep it coming, I welcome ALL advice and comments, that's what keeps us strong is knowing that we have each other to bounce ideas off of.

Cheers!
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  #8  
October 6th, 2009, 10:33 PM
Nikki.'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Last edited by Nikki.; October 10th, 2009 at 03:39 PM.
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  #9  
October 7th, 2009, 05:46 AM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ToonTownGirl View Post
Well there are no allergies, or medical issues with this child. He is truthfully just spoiled and gets away with this crap at his BM's house. Last night was another incident. He sat at the table for 2 HOURS playing with his food. Food that he had eaten before, only a few weeks ago. And then it's suddenly, my leg hurts, or my eye hurts, or whatever. And SO and I are EXACTLY on the same page. You don't eat, too bad for you. Neither one of us gives in. SO told him, you eat, or you don't, that's your choice, but if you don't.... here are the consequences.

It's so frustrating, we had to take SO to the dentist on Saturday, and his dentist is in the mall, and the minute we left SO, DSS looks at me and says, I'm hungry get me A&W. And I looked at him and said, ok we had breakfast about 45 minutes ago, and no we aren't getting anything to eat here. And he's like... I'M HUNGRY.. and I just got right down to his level (remember he's about to be 9, and is less than 4 feet tall, a WHOLE other story) and looked him straight in the eye and told him, #1, you DO NOT talk to me in that tone, and #2, everytime that we come to the mall does NOT mean that you are getting crappy food. And he POUTED like a 2 year old. I just walked away from him. I wasn't about to acknowledge this bonehead like behaviour.

It's so frustrating because he is so small for his age (I think that FINALLY he's bigger than the kindergarten kids), and he's so skinny, but we both know that we can't give into these "temper tantrums". To us, it's an outright defiance, and we just don't put up with it.

While this situation was going on last night, SO and I went up to our room to talk about this, and agreed, we aren't giving into him, we BOTH refuse to make things differently for him. We are on a fixed budget, and I'm not about to start making 2 different things for supper. SO doesn't always like what I cook, but he eats it, cause he knows that's all that there is.

Thanks for all of your input ladies, and keep it coming, I welcome ALL advice and comments, that's what keeps us strong is knowing that we have each other to bounce ideas off of.

Cheers!
For what it's worth, my (almost) 9 year old does the same stuff w/ his food at the dinner table w/ foods that he likes too. He will say "I'm so full" or "I don't feel good"...or "I have to pee"...what he can do to get out of eating. Once I finally say "just give me your plate" after 2 hours of playing w/ it, I'll say (just to see) "do you want some ice cream?" (or cookies, cake, what ever...you get the idea). He'll jump up & say "YEAH!" then I say "well, too bad, you should have eaten something before hand, you don't get cake b/c you didn't eat anything from the dinner that I made. Maybe next time you'll eat. I also will do this, if he says he's SOOOO full or what ever, I'll tell him "that's fine, if you aren't hungry, no big deal, but don't come to me in an hour wanting snacks, b/c you're not getting them, you'll ge the leftovers that you didn't eat for dinner instead". He'll say "fine".

Some of this is being spoiled, some of this is the age/stage, and some of this is just testing you to see how far you'll go for him.

It's not abnormal to fight w/ a kid who LOVES food sometimes, it's the way they can be.

HIH
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