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well i now know our system will truly fail kids in their time of need. And so will stupid parents.
Last night we got home late from SO's moms..we spent the day there enjoying the weather etc.
Well SO's ex called at 930pm and told us she wanted her baby back(not worried about the 3yr old) well we told her, her ex husband, the childs father gave us a letter stating he didnt want him home and we have permission to keep him here. She freaked out. And at 946 was on her way in here.
Now she had given us a letter on friday telling us becuase of the situation at home right now she felt the kids were safer at our house, and she is going out of town for a month tomorrow and we were to keep both kids here.
Well since I have been talking to social services and our court counsellor and i even called the RCMP and asked that if we have a letter fro parents we are allowed to keep him here...he's been here since he was 4months old..he's now 10months old. They said its up to the officer who comes. And if we feel the child is in danger to call the police.. so i called.
well to make a long story short....the police were on our side and ready to keep him here, but then she called her ex husband and started yelling at him and he gave in and told her to take him home..so the police had to let her take him. The police are giving me a copy of the report and my statement for court next month and are still on our side..they said they wouldnt send him back if the dad didnt say yes.
So now she is going out of town for a month with him...she hasnt been able to handle him longer then 4days for the past 6months...and now he is scooting around and is teething and is always hungry...so im scared for him...im just sooo down today .
The police told me to call social services...but they already told me they wont do anything because there is a custody issue....so now i have to wait til court. lets hope the judge isnt gonnna mess around.
TO top it all off her bf..who we have problems with and the police are investigating because of abuse got arrested last night because he was driving on two suspended licenses, driving drunk, no reg. no insurance, and a warrant for his arrest. and their car got towed.
so it sux today...she leaves tomorrow and we will see if she can handle him til then...we might be surprised and we might have him after tomorrow.
The system often DOES fail us & I know this is hard to have to go through. It's like you can't win. I have seen GREAT parents be investigated as if they're criminals & I've seen drug dealers & homeless people have no repercussions & are able to keep their kids, as long as the parent(s) are in A.A. or in some sort of treatment program. To me, I believe that the parents should be in treatment & demonstrate a safe living before a child could or should be w/ them...but...this is where I have to get technical, it does NOT matter what YOU or I believe. It's going to depend on the CPS worker & the judge, literally. If you get a good judge who looks at everything & is having a great day, great, if not, well...they just may return the child & tell you to leave & end the case faster than you can absorb the information. It sucks & it's not right.
The fact that ANY parent would call & demand the child at 9pm or later is insane. That is not okay, even if you all had good co-parenting & things weren't a mess. You don't do that, you just don't, unless you are strung out or stressed out or on drugs. If she has a BF that is going through a lot of legal mess, perhaps this is her way of feeling whole again, by having the baby? I don't know, I am not her, and I don't know what she's thinking. I just hope that child is safe, in the end, it's what is best for the child, not the surrounding person(s). The child's best interest.
The fact that ANY parent would call & demand the child at 9pm or later is insane.
Agreed! On Friday my stepson's bio mom did that very thing. My boyfriend doesn't get off work until about that time and she called demanding that she have Meyson. By that time, Meyson had already been asleep at least an hour, so my BF came home, woke him up, got him dressed and drug him into town, just to keep his mother happy. I was more than a little irritated, but what can you do when you're not the biological parent? I just hate when people put themselves before their kids!!!
The only time I'd ever do something before or after hours would be for an ER, and I mean serious one, there is no need to go nuts unless someone's been hurt, passed on or sick, and even at that, what can the baby do? I dunno...