Log In Sign Up

*


Forum: Blended Families

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Blended Families LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
July 12th, 2010, 06:32 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,240
*

Last edited by ChiMama07; November 1st, 2011 at 02:27 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
July 13th, 2010, 02:42 PM
Momeejenjen's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Spring Hill, TN
Posts: 9,994
Send a message via Yahoo to Momeejenjen
my advice, and you may not want to hear this... get out of the relationship with your current situation, move out on your own, find a place, become independant. Don't go from one dependant situation to the next. You will love yourself more and be happy when you know you can support yourself. Best of luck.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
July 13th, 2010, 11:07 PM
ToonTownGirl's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 729
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momeejenjen View Post
my advice, and you may not want to hear this... get out of the relationship with your current situation, move out on your own, find a place, become independant. Don't go from one dependant situation to the next. You will love yourself more and be happy when you know you can support yourself. Best of luck.


I completely 100% agree with this. There will be a custody battle if you let it. Your baby daddy may have these issues, but he is these kids' father and that will never change. He has just as much of a right to those kids as you do. So try and make things good between him, and give him as much access to those children and try to avoid staying out of the courts, it's the best for everyone involved.

And by jumping into another relationship with another man right away is going to cause animosity between you and your baby daddy and things will get ugly. It's human nature to be upset when things end, but when things end and you immediately move in with another man, things are going to get ugly, and ugly fast.

I'm sorry but getting ready to move out with another man after you haven't ended your relationship with your current man, IMHO is cheating. If you aren't happy, then move out on your own and get your feet on solid ground. To me it sounds like a "honeymoon stage" and how do you know that as soon as you move in together that things aren't going to change.

Again, this is probably more of what you don't want to hear, but you asked for opinions, and here it is. I hope that you will find the answers that you need and do what's best for you and your kids.

Just my
__________________


Thank you
*Kiliki* for my beautiful siggie!

1st Miscarriage - not planned - June 29, 2010

Saskatoon Scrappin'
- visit my blog!


Reply With Quote
  #4  
July 15th, 2010, 08:30 AM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the enchanted forest
Posts: 5,257
IMHO, in order to be sure that you've done it all for your current situation, you need to give that 110%, go to counseling, try every avenue, and until you both have given it all, and 6 mos. or so of it WITHOUT ANY CONTACT WITH THE NEW MAN, you're not truly giving your current situation a chance. You have to be done & healed in your current situation before you move onto another one. What is the rush? You're not giving yourself a chance or the relationship a chance w/ out a person interfering in your life, he's a distraction, not helping your current situation at all, not to mention, the grass always looks greener on the other side, it's a new situation, he's fun, he's a pretty present under the tree, but you haven't unwrapped the present & bows to find the truth of who he truly is, and if he was a true man of his word, he'd leave you alone and allow you to work on your current situation and if that current situation doesn't work out, if he's still available & you both have the same feelings for one another a while down the road, then great, but right now you owe this to your family & kids.

Might I recommend the Divorce & Separation board? They might have some good advice on there, Dani is amazing (I think she still hosts the board).

GL

~Chantelle


Quote:
Originally Posted by ToonTownGirl View Post
I'm sorry but getting ready to move out with another man after you haven't ended your relationship with your current man, IMHO is cheating. If you aren't happy, then move out on your own and get your feet on solid ground. To me it sounds like a "honeymoon stage" and how do you know that as soon as you move in together that things aren't going to change.
Just my
Cheating, ITA, even if it's emotional. How would you feel if you found out that HE was doing the same thing to you? How sad. And the honeymoon stage is accurate w/ how I described the grass being greener & how he looks like the sparkling present under the tree, all wrapped up in pretty bows, then you open it up & it's it a lump of coal. Right now you see the pretty present, you aren't seeing clearly, you have rose colored glasses on, or seeing through fog. Which ever analogy you want to use, that's the best way to explain it.

I understand you want to know how to "get out" & how to "transition" w/ kids & custody. Right now, that should be the last thing on your mind. Unless..of course you were to say that in your current situation he was abusive, then, that's a different story but from your explanation, there is no abuse but a big issue in the love & communication department.
__________________



Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:52 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0