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I hope you don't mind me joining your group. I am very happily married with 4 kids of my own and 3 step kids. My kids' ages are 21, 20, 12 and 10 my step kids are 26, 16 and 13. My two youngest live at home with my husband and I. My other kids and my oldest step daughter all live on their own while my 16 year old step daughter and 13 year old step son live with their Mom.
Over the past years my DH and I have been together I have found that being a step mother is not very easy at all! I often find it very challenging. It will be very nice to have a place to share my experiences and to learn from others!
I'm Kris. I have 2 kids - 1 dd from a previous marriage & 1 son with my current Dh. My ex is no longer in the picture. Dh has 2 dds from his previous marriage (11 & 15). We are far from blended. The 15 year old has reeked major havoc on our lives. And hasn't been to our house in 1 1/2 years. Which quite honestly is fine with me. She's a tad bit crazy & made my life a living hell. They live 4 hours away with their bio mom. The 11 year old is awesome but her bio mom & sister rule so we have only seen her 2 times in the last 1 1/2 years. Dh sees his dds more because he goes to visit them.
Welcome... I'm Chantelle, and also understand what it's like to have to deal w/ a difficult ex, on the flip, I also know what it's like to deal w/ an ex & not really have those issues. Sure, there are always the exceptions, but for the most part, I get along w/ my ex (we were never married, our son will be 10 soon & he is since married & has 1 year old twins, boy/girl). My DH's ex wife (the difficult one), they have a son as well, he will be 13 in November. Together DH & I had 2 more boys (yes all 4 are boys, lucky me ), one is 4 & the other will be 3 in December.
I think trying to "blend" a family is so difficult for so many reasons. In a perfect world we'd all get along, but that's not the case. The thing I try to remind myself is that this other person (DH's ex wife/and DSS bio-mom) she is from a different environment, background & her beliefs are totally different than mine. My DSS comes over & expects the rules to remain the same, and they are not. We're not drastically horrible or strict w/ the rules, what it comes down too is that we HAVE rules, she doesn't & baby's him WAY too much. Recently it's all come to a "head" or "the BLEEP hit the fan"...DSS finally came over to our home, for an ENTIRE weekend! That has NEVER happened in over 4 years. This was this past weekend & although we had a few "reminders"...he did great. So I think when you try to take a step back, you have to realize that the kids are in the middle, never asked for any of the drama, but if you ignore the drama, and not respond to it, it tends to go away. My situation w/ my ex wasn't always "reasonable"...and there used to be drama. I realized that it was no longer about my past relationship w/ my ex, and it wasn't a popularity contest either, it was about our son & making him happy.
With that said, welcome to a board that truly understands what you are going through. We've all BTDT or are currently in your situation. If you need anything, feel free to PM me. I'm here all the time & check my PM's daily, w/ the exception of weekends (my time w/ my family, no PC).
Again, welcome & feel free to join & post to the threads or make new ones.
Thanks so much for the warm welcome Ladies. It's nice to have a safe place to come and vent if need be. Sometimes life can get a little crazy and overwhelming. I'm glad you ladies are here to share my experiences with.
Welcome! I'm Rachel, mom of three (21, 19 & almost 5) and step mom of two (11 & 9). My step-sons have been with us full time since last July and my oldest is married and lives on her own and is expecting a baby in December.
Originally Posted by pinkroses
Over the past years my DH and I have been together I have found that being a step mother is not very easy at all! I often find it very challenging.
This is sooooo very true! I have days where I just want to hide or run away. Glad to have you join us!