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DD's bio dad and non childsupport payment


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  #1  
May 21st, 2006, 09:08 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 3,598
DD's natural father is such a class A LOSER!

So, I didn't get the child support payment for this month. Her bio dad is/was in the army so there was never an issue about getting it. Anyway something told me something was up. I called the State child support department and they told me they could not do an investigation until June 1st when he would officially be one whole month behind

So I send him an e-mail a few days ago politely asking him to fess up or find out why the money did not come. So yesterday his mom calls with him on the phone and he talks to DD for a few minutes (he has not called her in months mind you). Anyway, he tells me he has to tell me something but it can wait till next week. I was like ok, why are you playing stupid games, if you have something to say just say it. So he started hemming and hawing, etc etc and I asked him if he was still in the army. (I already knew he was not, just wanted to see if he would tell me.) So he tells me he is not and that he would tell me everything Monday.

I don't care about why he got put out of the army, or what is going on in his life. He has to help support DD. If I fall short or lose my job, I can't sit around and say 'oh well I just can't do it" What the hell is that? So now I know that no money is coming for this month and possibly next month. All I know is he better get a job ASA FREAKIN P and not get too far behind because I do not play that deadbeat dad BS.

And the thing that really PISSES me off is that I can't even tell DD what an azzhole her dad really is. I never bad mouth him to her because I never wanted to be that kind of mother. I figure it would hurt her feelings more than damamge his character and I don't want to hurt her just because I am angry with him you know? So she loves him to death and its like he can do no wrong and I am like ARE YOU KIDDING ME!! HE DOES NOT EVEN CALL YOU BUT EVERY FEW MONTHS!!??!! But she is just a kid and all little girls want to love and hold their dad up on the pedestal...it just pisses me off that he can be such a loser dad and she still love him so much.

And on top of everything else, I have to double check everything he freakin tells me. He is such a liar that you can't believe anything he ever says. I just wish he was not even her father. I love her and if there was a way to just make him not her father I surely would. So now I have to factor in almost $500 a month in daycare expenses for DD, on top of daycare for a newborn.

And I hate to be like don't call me unless you can help support your child but that is how I seriously feel. Why does he get to jump in and out of her life parade her around when he feelsl like it and not put a dime toward her upbringing? That is just not something I am willing to go for. And in actuality, he only called her every few months and has not seen her in more than a year so it is not like it will be so different if I banned him from coming around until he could help support her. Only before he was living in Texas, and now I think he is coming home. I am pissed I invited his mom over to our new house, because now she knows where we live and that means he does too. Urgh this is just so annoying and not what I feel like dealing with right now!
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  #2  
May 22nd, 2006, 05:30 AM
appifanie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: NY
Posts: 1,962
i'm sorry! that really does suck.

my DH is in the army and his child support is so nicely alotted out each month. well, it was. then his evil ex decided she didn't trust him anymore (completely unfounded, he is so not that kind of guy) so she's having his wages garnished instead.

and it is best to keep your mouth shut - my parents always badmouthed each other when they got divorced, and whoever was complaining was whoever made me mad. my DH said that one day his son will figure out what his mother is really like. he isn't going to ever tell him anything, but he knows he'll figure it out one day.

if you have a lawyer, call them. if not, you should probably get one. oh, or someone said to me that you can contact the judge who made the initial child support ruling.
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  #3  
May 22nd, 2006, 02:44 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Goose Creek, SC
Posts: 9,773
Send a message via MSN to GinaOfAllTrades
<span style="font-family:Georgia">I completely understand how you feel. I have to deal with a stupid XH and my DF\'s stupid XWife. My ex pays only $200 a month and makes it seem like he is father of the year, he at least sees his son so I can\'t complain too much...other than he needs to appreciate the fact that i am such a nice person LOL. TJ holds him high also.

DF\'s X is another story, DF has custody of their son and she JUST started paying support (they have been divorced 2 yrs now). She is only required to pay $50 (basically just on principal). She didn\'t pay anything at all until like 2 months ago. And she rarely sees him at all. And DSS has her on such a high pedestal that it isn\'t even funny. I am like "she is never around, I feed you, bath you, take you to and from school, tuck you in at night, and fix your boo-boo\'s. How is it that she is so great!" Jealousy streak I guess.

But enough of my drama, back to you...

You have every right to feel the way you do but on a serious, outsider looking in opinion here, just because he is not paying it is not in the best interest of anyone to deny him from speaking or seeing her if he wants to. I know that sounds harsh and it is totally not fair...WE are the ones doing all the parent stuff (some mom\'s or dad\'s are having to be both mom and dad) and they get to reap all the rewards.

Continue to let him talk to her if he chooses to but I would definately reccomend talking witha lawyer to discuss what you want to happen and to see what your options are.

Best of luck in everything.</span>
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  #4  
May 27th, 2006, 06:46 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 3,598
Quote:
<span style="font-family:Georgia">.

DF\'s X is another story, DF has custody of their son and she JUST started paying support (they have been divorced 2 yrs now). She is only required to pay $50 (basically just on principal). She didn\'t pay anything at all until like 2 months ago. And she rarely sees him at all. And DSS has her on such a high pedestal that it isn\'t even funny. I am like "she is never around, I feed you, bath you, take you to and from school, tuck you in at night, and fix your boo-boo\'s. How is it that she is so great!" Jealousy streak I guess.


You have every right to feel the way you do but on a serious, outsider looking in opinion here, just because he is not paying it is not in the best interest of anyone to deny him from speaking or seeing her if he wants to. I know that sounds harsh and it is totally not fair...WE are the ones doing all the parent stuff (some mom\'s or dad\'s are having to be both mom and dad) and they get to reap all the rewards.

Continue to let him talk to her if he chooses to but I would definately reccomend talking witha lawyer to discuss what you want to happen and to see what your options are.

Best of luck in everything.</span>
[/b]
Your post hit the nail on the head! I mean I do it all and it just cuts me soooo deep when she acts like it is the second coming of Jesus when he calls or comes home.

He has not called since last week. I can't do anything until June 1st, but believe me I am counting down the days. I am just so.....angry about this. I am off the entire summer vacation so summer camp is now an option not a necessity and she can just go ao a session here and there, which will save so so much money. So thank goodness for that. I wish my DD could not stand him. I don't want t=him to know that she loves him so much, I want him to feel the wrath of a child wronged by her father....but I just can't bring myself to tell her how he really is....and I won't. Its like I am suffering in silence and it drives me insane. And then my fiancee does so much for DD, I mean he is a great step father and male influence on her and I know it hurts him when DD gets all excited about her jerk bio dad. :: sigh :: Oh well....

Thank you ladies both for relating.
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