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Yes it is sad. I have a lot of resentment towards dh's oldest. Not because of what she's done to me (I'm a grownup I can handle it). But what she's done to my dd.
Dh's youngest & my dd were sisters the moment they met. They were inseparable despite a 3 1/2 year age difference. They even look so much a like that people think they are blood sisters even though they share no common biology.
But because of the oldest's jeolous and anger, my dd didn't see her sister for 1 1/2 years. And now sees her very infrequently. My dd has been through so much with her bio dad. She has suffered so much pain and loss at such a young age. She didn't need more. If I had seen the future, I would have protected her from more pain & loss.