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Do you split it every other year or do you do half the day with mom and half the day with dad?
With my older two, we never had any issues with holidays. They chose where they wanted to spend Thanksgiving and they usually woke up Christmas morning at their dad's house and then came home mid-morning for the rest of the day. They always did Christmas Eve with me & my family.
With Will & Clayton, last year we took them to spend a few hours with their mom, but it ended up being a nightmare for us because we spent the day in holiday traffic and I refuse to do that again this year. Besides, it's really not fair for Daniel, who ends up spending his holiday in the car.
We're supposed to have alternating holidays (per court order), but of course because of bio monster that never happens. Her exact words were you will never have her for Christmas. So we usually have her every Thanksgiving. We get her either the day after Christmas or the next day, and have her until the day after New Years. We like that we get her for New Years since she's a New Years baby. It's cool to have everyone stay up till midnight say happy new then jump into birthday mode.
❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11
We used to alternate holidays per the court order. But we haven't the last 2 years. I'd love dsd to come for Christmas but Dh & I agree that we won't split of the sisters for Christmas - plus there will be retrobution from the oldest if we force it. So we'll shoot for New Year's instead. Dh works Thansgiving so that's not an option.
Christmas is not in our court order at all. But a few years back we agreed to alternate years. Christmas break is two weeks long, so we alternate first week and second week each year. Its supposed to come with a caveat that who ever has the second week (new years) also gets her for spring break. But BM has NEVER taken her for spring break. She just takes her one week around Christmas and summer. Court order says she gets her two weeks somewhere in the year for vacation as well, but she doesnt take that either. I think its too difficult because of being out of state and leave from work and money at all.
Christmas has been the same every year w/ the kids situation.
My DSS is w/ his dad (my DH) on XMas Eve. My DS, goes w/ his bio-dad on XMas Eve, both kids go home to bio-moms for night/overnight. XMas days, the kids spend it w/ bio-moms. Been that way since day one. So none of us feel left out. Never been an issue, thank God!
The ex doesn't get the kids for Christmas. They have always been at home with us. He's never complained and they don't ask to go. I don't think he wants them because that would mean that he would actually have to get them something.
I have an eleven year old "stepdaughter", we aren't married yet. We spent last Christmas with her family and it was wonderful. Christmas is a huge deal for her mom's family and not so big for either of us, so they asked if we would celebrate with them instead of splitting SD's time. It actually worked out wonderfully and we never felt out of place. That is the plan for this year as well. I don't know what we will do after that though, because we are expecting a baby in February.
If the ex's family accepts our baby like they say they will, then the three of us will be spending every Christmas with them. I figure by the time baby is old enough to notice the difference in presents, SD will be older and we won't need to be there for present opening. We can just come for the celebration parts. The Christmas Eve party and then Christmas breakfast and dinner.
It means my baby won't celebrate her early Christmases with my family, as they live in another state. My family is okay with that though. They've always been happy to celebrate on another day, just so long as it is near the holiday.
It was good to see what other people do, in case this situation stops working for us. I've been blessed so far because we all get along well. I know that adding a new baby to the mix may change that though.