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Sometimes I wish I just didn't know things......


Forum: Blended Families

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  #1  
October 13th, 2010, 12:18 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 9,013
So yesterday, I was looking on line to find out when DH's oldest dds school play is. She's very into drama, does well and gets good parts. Since they live 4 hours away, Dh needs to plan ahead before going. Unfortunately, they either don't tell him when the play is or they tell him on Thursday when the play is Saturday Then if he can't make it because he has to work - they get all pissy and he's not there for her yadayada. Athough he would get there if he knew ahead of time - he can always switch weekends with someone.

Anyway, I found out when the play was but I also found a something else. It was from 3 years ago but the little set up a Myspace page (lying about her age because she was too young at the time). But she doesn't have a common 1st name & they live in a very, very rural area with a small populatiion - town of 500. So with an uncommon name - not likely there's 2 of them.

Anyway, she wrote about her self saying"

"I have a (only with a B) step mom, a cool real mom and 2 sweet dads. "

Then she proceed to talk about her little sister (Dh's youngest) and also said she had a little brother (mine & Dh's son) - who was really only her 1/2 brother. Nothing of course about my dd who is Dh's legal child.

I was LIVID. Told Dh that it better be removed ASAP! And he better address that her mother has NO idea what she is doing. She was 12 at the time. Creating a Myspace page at 12???? Where the heck was bio mom????

I also told him - that my DS is NOT her 1/2 brother. He isn't. They share no biology. Dh's ex had an affair while they were married & they know for a fact that his oldest dd isn't his bio kid. He has raised her as such. But DS is of no relation to her. And hasn't seen her in 2 years - when he was 2 so he has no idea who she is. And he won't ever see her because I will not allow it. The girl is toxic and she hurt my dd and I won't let her hurt my son. Plus my rule is - it's all or nothing. Both my dd & ds or nothing. They are both equally Dh's legal children. DD is just as much - even more Dh's dd than his oldest as we went through the legal court process to have it formalized.

Please don't tell me that she's an innocent child - this is just 1 of many things she's done. Oh and can I say the date was right after the Christmas that I bought her a TV, DVD/VCR Combo and the year before that an IPod. Not Dh but me with my bonus money from my job. There is nothing innocent about this child - just crazy (I think borderline personality disorder).

Oh and she won't talked to Dh - hasn't answered his phone calls in 3 months.
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Kris

My 2 miracles: Lucinda & Noah
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  #2  
October 13th, 2010, 01:02 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 969
Kids can be harsh!!! I wish you the best!!!
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  #3  
October 13th, 2010, 02:19 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Taneytown, MD
Posts: 114,733
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I'm so sorry she's being such a pain! ((hugs)) It sounds like her and her mom are two peas in a pod.
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  #4  
October 13th, 2010, 02:24 PM
Arachne
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I am so so sorry!! That is terrible.
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  #5  
October 13th, 2010, 02:28 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 9,013
Yes Rachel you got that right. Even Dh says "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree"

It's just so hard. It breaks Dh's heart because she was always his favorite. Fortunately his youngest takes after him. She's an absolute doll. I totally love her & she loves me. And best of all she loves dd more than any of us. Although she loves ds too - it's important to me that she my dd because she isn't bio related and my dd worships the ground she walks on. It's just hard to see her enough because the oldest girl makes it difficult.
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Kris

My 2 miracles: Lucinda & Noah
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  #6  
October 13th, 2010, 04:58 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 13,499
Sadly I can relate. DH gets pissy because I no longer allow his daughter to hurt my kids. He thinks that I respond to her nastily meanwhile I'm responding to her nastiness. I know I'm the adult and that I should take the higher road, but it's hard when that child has hurt my child so much. She's gone as far as saying that my son was not her brother because he comes from her father and not her mother. Then went on to tease my daughter about how she doesn't fit in because everyone but her has the same last name. And there is so much more. The most recent was a few month back when DD put on this lovely dress, that she wore to her graduation, for a baby shower. DSD was so pissed off that she couldn't come, it was invite only and when I rsvp'd I didn't know she was going to be around. She insulted DD. Was all ewwww that's what you're wearing? That looks horrible cause it makes your boobs look big. I quickly responded on how she looks beautiful and so what if it makes her boobs look big, she has big ones. And that there was no need to be so **** nasty about it.

Well, anyways, I'm sorry I hijacked your thread. I just wanted to let you know that I empathize with you.
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  #7  
October 13th, 2010, 06:07 PM
Regular
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 51
"I was LIVID. Told Dh that it better be removed ASAP!"

now you know how she feels, just protect your heart from her...but remember if you cut ALL ties you will cut them for life. And children become adults when all there hormones even out and they see the truth. If the bridge is burned, then never walk across it with thier heads down and come back. It happened with me. And almost all the stepchildren I know that treated thier parents badly when they were growing up.
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  #8  
October 13th, 2010, 06:51 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 9,013
Sadly Schoolyearmama, I've know how she feels about me for a long time. The damage to myself & my dd has already been done. She has almost destroyed my marriage on more than 1 occasion and still may do it. I have no issues cutting her from my life & setting a bonfire to the bridge.

That may sound harsh but I've spent my entire life being abused by people in my life - 1st my parents & then my 1st husband. I refuse to allow ANYONE to abuse me again.
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My 2 miracles: Lucinda & Noah
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