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I hope it's ok If I vent here for a minute....


Forum: Blended Families

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  #1  
November 11th, 2010, 07:18 AM
ShesaDreamer's Avatar If Only. If Only <3
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I feel like you ladies will be the only people to understand.

B & K's mom has been in and out of their life since 2006 she cant stay clean and had been gone nearly 3 years total. WEll after not seeing them for a year and 8 months she pops back in. Things were going good she signed the paper so my DH could call and talk to her methadone councler. But she refused to sign for me to call and my DH can't call when he's at work. Her counceler is in from 5 am to 1 pm Monday - Thursday. My DH works all week. She also wont sign for them to call if she fails a test. And we found out that is she does fail a test then the counceler can't tell us unless C says it's ok. So after seeing them for a month and a half we had to stop the visits until she fixes it so we know when she fails one. And the Boys are asking when they are going to see her again. I HATE when she does this. Because I'm the one that has to tell the boys whats going on. I'm sorry to just pop in with a vent but like I said I knew that you girls would understand.
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  #2  
November 11th, 2010, 08:07 AM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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Is there a court order involved that requires her to tell you when she fails a test? I'm not saying that you shouldn't know, but unless there's a court order that grants you all that information and allows you all to limit the visitation until you can get that information, then I don't really think you're being fair to her.

If the court gave her visitation and you hinder that, you could subject yourselves to being held in contempt of court. While I totally understand and appreciate that you want/need to keep the kids safe, I would file some sort of pleading with the court to limit the visitation or suspend the visitation until these issues can be resolved. It's not likely that she'll make a motion with the court for contempt if she went so long without seeing them, but you want to make sure that you are totally in compliance with the law and the current court orders, kwim?

Anyway, I'm sorry that you're dealing with all of that. My step kids don't see their mom all that often, but it's because she fails to exercise her visitation rights. It's sad when they ask me when they will be seeing their mom again and all I can say is "when she asks to see you".

And yes, feel free to vent here any time!
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  #3  
November 11th, 2010, 10:44 AM
ShesaDreamer's Avatar If Only. If Only <3
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Well she lost her visitation rights in 2006 she failed a drug test and since then it's been she has to be clean for 6 months to see the boys then after that its up to the CPS worker and it's the CPS worker that told her to sign the papers so she can close the case that has been open since 2004. She wants us to be able to make the final decision on that stuff. So right now we are stopping the visits because the CPS woman said so. And ultimately it's because she isn't cooperating which isn't unusual for her.
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  #4  
November 11th, 2010, 10:57 AM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShesaDreamer View Post
Well she lost her visitation rights in 2006 she failed a drug test and since then it's been she has to be clean for 6 months to see the boys then after that its up to the CPS worker and it's the CPS worker that told her to sign the papers so she can close the case that has been open since 2004. She wants us to be able to make the final decision on that stuff. So right now we are stopping the visits because the CPS woman said so. And ultimately it's because she isn't cooperating which isn't unusual for her.
Well, it does sounds like you're doing it all correctly then. I'm glad the CPS worker is involved in the case. I hope she gets her act together soon, though. I don't understand how parents can act that way toward their kids.
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  #5  
November 11th, 2010, 11:01 AM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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I was just going to agree with Rachel, but I see that CPS has told you to do this. Sorry she won't release that information. Can you maybe call the CPS counselor and inform them what is going on? Maybe they can either force her hand or make so that the clinic has to call CPS if she fails the test. That way someone will be in the loop at all times. Good luck.
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  #6  
November 12th, 2010, 07:15 AM
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oh no! drugs are such a horrible thing. and kids dont need that super sad! thats great of you that your there for them! what a god blessing!
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  #7  
November 12th, 2010, 11:45 AM
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How frustrating. I think you are doing the right thing by keep the kids away from her. She has a documented problem so that should work in your favor. I do think that you should get everything in a court order just to project yourselves and the children. It's just always a good thing.

Just wanted to add that I think you are absolutely doing the right thing in protecting those kids. They are lucky to have you & their dad!
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