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My 7 year old stepdaughter knows that her Mom moved away but I don't know how much she understands about why. I'm careful about asking her too much stuff because I don't want to make her worry about things that may not be on her mind. Her bio mom moved across country and saw her maybe once a year with pretty much no phone calls when she was 16 mths old till last year when she moved back. I am pretty sure that DSD has infered that bio mom moved away to marry her now 2nd ex husband.
I had a talk with DSD recently b/c she's always talking about how great our small town is and asking me if I agree. It's much smaller than where I moved from and I've been through frustration over job hunting (now a SAHM for good) and with the school system. She's picked up on that. We talked b/c she's worried that I'm going to leave her the way her bio mom left her I love her so much and DH is wonderful. Our marriage is about as perfect as I could ever wish. I promised her that I'll never leave her and I'll always be her Mom no matter what. Bio mom coming back into her life last year has brought up a lot of feelings and I do worry about her sometimes.
I just don't want to bring up stuff that will worry or upset her. It's a fine line to walk sometimes though when she needs to talk but doesn't know how to deal with her feelings. I just want to comfort her and be there for her.