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No we never follow what has been stipulated. We would love to but BM isn't cooperative at all. From most stipulations that I've seen come across my desk have some clause that allows the parents to change up the schedule as long as it's in writing and both parents consent. If you can stip this out, then do so, it would be much easier on everyone all around. Good luck to you let us know how it goes.
❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11
If the agreement says one thing and the calendar says another, then it doesn't sound like you all really have an agreement. It sounds to me like BM is trying to play games and give her the advantage. I would make a new calendar that follows the agreement so that she sees what she's really supposed to get based on the agreement, and then see where you all stand. If she doesn't agree, then you're left with two options: let her have her way or let the court resolve it at trial.
I've had constant issues with my ex for the last four years regarding visitation. He doesn't get him very often but he's always loved to argue about it all the time. Last year I put my foot down and said we'd have to go strictly by the visitation agreement. I saw a lawyer and he'd have to come to my state. He's just been a bully about it. He's one of those who wants to control everything. What's so bad is that we agreed on the visitation schedule when I drew the papers up It's very fair. He gets the 1st and 3rd weekends, Fathers Day, 2 weeks in the summer (has to write me a letter w/ 30 days notice to get this) and we alternate years on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Spring Breaks. He may get him maybe 3 or 4 times a year though and it's usually when I take my son to visit my Mom, who lives near him. It's not my fault he didn't take his Christmas last year or his Thanksgiving this year and now he wants Christmas. He does call DS every few weeks to talk to him now though He's much better than he used to be.
We have full custody of my 7 year old DSD. Her mom doesn't have visitation but my DH has always let both her and her Mom see her whenever they want. Unfortunatly for DSD it's usually only one night every few months. Last time was the first or second week in September and I don't expect them to get her again till Christmas. They're an hour & a half from us. I see bio mom online occasionally but she hasn't called or asked about DSD since then.
In your case, I think she's just wanting to control the situation. You guys just have to decide if it's worth going to court over. I'm not saying it's not, but that's something to think about with cool heads. Once, it's set, then she can't change it on you guys.
I agree with Rachel. If it were me, it would make me nervous because if she isn't recognizing the agreement now, I'm thinking it will only get worse. I think you would want it as iron clad as possible.
Dh & his ex don't follow the agreement they have because the ex moved 4 hours away. We have that we get them one weekend a month but that hasn't happened. Financially we haven't been able to pay for the expense of getting them every 4 weeks. And his girl's are older so they have tons of activities which often fall on the weekends. It used to work out for us but then things went south with his oldest. Although dh saw them, my kids & I didn't for 1 1/2 years. And dh was only able to see them like 3 times a year because he had to go to them and we didn't always have the money for a hotel. We should have enforce the agreement with the younger girl. But dh doesn't have the balls. Fortunately, we have seen her 4 times in the last 6 months!!!!! And will have her again for New Years!
I hope you get everything worked out the way that you want. Keep us posted!
Perhaps she'll give up one of her weeks at the end of summer if you allow her to have the first week with him? I mean, won't you still have to be in school the week after, so it might be better for you too? I know teachers here don't get done with their school year at the same time students get done.
Anyway, I hope you all get something worked out! Good luck and keep us posted!