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Anyway, I'm Kris. I know your concerns well. I have a dd from my previous marriage - my dh has 2 dds from his previous marriage and we have 1 child together.
What kind of relationship does you SO have with your kids now? Are you planning to have him play the daddy role or is he already?
I just asked because my dd's father was barely in her life when I met my dh. She was much younger though - 2 1/2. But Dh became her real dad the moment they met. 4 years later he was able to adopt her.
And I totally agree with you that the kids come before the man! Men come & go, my kids are my kids forever!
The only thing I can say is keep the lines of communication open with your SO and with you kids. Talk to everyone about everything! Have you SO do things with your kids without you. Let them build a relationship with each other. (that was the hardest thing for me btw because it had just been dd & me for so long). But if you SO has a good relationship with them and bonds with them, he is less likely to treat them differently.
From the other side, it is possible to love a kid that isn't yours biologically as much as your bio kids. My dsd was 6 when I met her. It took a while because she doesn't live with us. But now I can honestly say I love her as much as my own kids. She is an essential and equal member of our family.