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So I figure I'll just jump right in here & start with all the "exciting" BS going on in our world.
My Fiance has 3 children, two boys & one girl, the boys are from his first marriage & the girl is from his second. His Daughters mother is insane, literally - she is bi-polar & unmedicated, she found out about me on our first date, she just happened to see us pulling into the parking lot for a movie & she immediately started texting him with all kinds of BS. Their divorce was not final at that time, their first hearing was Aug 7th & our first date was Aug 29th, but they had been separated for almost 3 years & she has a son with another guy, but she still freaked out about us dating. After that things calmed down & she apparently thought that he was no longer seeing me & thought they were going to work things out. His dad passed away shortly after we started getting serious and she brought their daughter over to the house & saw a text from me & all hell broke loose from that point until after the divorce was final in DECEMBER. She even went so far as to try to withdrawal the divorce petition, it would have been over in October if she hadn't pulled that stunt. Thankfully my fiance showed up for the hearing anyway and told the judge that he still wanted the divorce so it was rescheduled. During those months she used their daughter as a pawn many many times. Calling at all hours of the day & night, she was unable to handle anything at all on her own, she would call at 11pm to have my fiance come pick up their daughter because she just couldn't handle it anymore. She even brought all of their daughters belongs over one night & dumped them all in his living room & left the state claiming that she had signed over her rights. There were MANY other things that she pulled. Sadly the judge didn't care that she did all of this, even though she admitted ALL of it in court, and gave her residential custody of their daughter.
After the divorce was final though things calmed way down. She got remarried the beginning of June to a guy she barely knew, I think they met in like April, she kicked him out the beginning of August but then lost her job & had to move in with baby daddy #2 but when he made it clear that he was willing to help her out with a place to stay but did not want anything physical or any time of relationship with her she decided to get back with her husband. At that point she pulled their daughter out of the school she had been in since kindergarten (she is now a 2nd grader) and moved 30 minutes away from where she was living, which is about an hour from us. She did all of this with less than a weeks notice. Oh I forgot to mention that when she married her current husband my fiance's daughter started having a lot of odd fears, she couldn't be alone in the house anywhere without freaking out, she refused to sleep in her own bed at night & had to sleep at the foot our bed on the floor, if we tried to get her to sleep in her own bed she would throw a HUGE fit & it would be about 1am before we would either give in or she would finally pass out from sheer exhaustion, even when she did finally go to sleep in her own bed she would wake up & come in to our room anyway. After her mom kicked her new husband out those things started to go away but after moving in with him again some issues have come up again. Now she will NOT take a bath period, she will take a shower only if someone is in the bathroom with her, she has started hitting A LOT more, her attitude has gotten very negative, she cusses a LOT, she throws fits about anything at all, she will not play in her room alone. The last one concerns me a lot as a few weeks ago we had her & her brother's here & her 13 year old brother got a remote control spider that crawls on the ceiling but it's rather loud & it was annoying her so she was throwing a fit so we told her to go play in her room, which just made the fit worse but she went & stood in her doorway to throw it so I went to close the door so she wouldn't be able to hear the spider anymore and she had a complete meltdown begging me not to close the door, I ask is that normal?
She has a baby brother who is 3 (this is the kid from baby daddy #2 that was born long before they got divorced, but after they separated) he has a lot of the same issues. He actually has some worse issues as he is only 3 & that is just barely, he is expected to wipe his own butt after pooping, his father picked him up and discovered his little bum with a horrible rash & dried poop caked to it, his mother expects him to be able to clean himself. Now I have no children of my own but I did work at a daycare & I know if a 2/3 year old poops you check & make sure they wiped well. I would think as a mother you would at least check this kind of thing at bath time each night.
Her new husband is a convicted felon for intent to sell meth & burglary of a vehicle. He has a suspended drivers license & she allows him to drive her car with the children in it. She allows him to spank the kids with a belt. She has started spanking the kids bare butt. As soon as my fiance's daughter gets home from school the two children I guess supposedly fight & get sent to their rooms, so basically they spend all night in their rooms. According to their mother they really don't have any toys & they are both short on clothes, even though we have sent several pairs of pants to her house she says she only has 2 pairs of pants for their daughter.
Basically it's all one HUGE HOT MESS. There is way more that has happened than what I have typed out, but that is an intro into my life with the crazy ex-***** (that would be what I call her, I call the boy's mom the greedy ex-***** because she is all about the money & uses the boys to get the money & no I have NEVER referred to either by these names in front of any of the kids!!!!)
Anyone ever been through anything remotely close? We are at a loss as to what to do, we spoke with a lawyer but don't have the money to pay his retainer We are extremely worried about both kids though.
(in a later post I'll talk about the situation with his boys)
WOW... it's like looking in a mirror.... if you like, you can PM me if it's too much to put out in public. I know what it's like to be in that "helpless" stage. I'm in it everyday. Reading your story has thrown the last 3 years of my life right back at me. Seriously, if you need to talk to someone privately, I'm here for you.
Um, I think some serious action needs to be taken by your SO. He needs to get her out of that house and I mean, like right now. Call CPS, go to court. Do whatever it takes to make sure that little girl is safe. If you get CPS involved, you probably won't need a lawyer right away.
sounds like the same thing we went thru with DH's ex gf, she has 3boys with 3dif. dads , and as of last oct. when DH got to see dss again for the first time since he was 6months old(he is 3.5now) and the second day we had him, she dropped off her other 2 for 3weeks, no calls, no clothes ffor them or diapers or formula for the then 4month old. we got CPS involved, they found tons of neglect, abuse(both older boys came to our house with spoon shaped bruises on their butts) and just before court we had to call the cops because she was coming to get dss and the baby, her bf of the time was arrested for 2suspended licenses,a warrent, no insurance,reg. and no car seats in the car.
we didnt wait around for CPS to work it out, we took her to court for guardianship for both and then filed for custody. by then CPS was on our side and gave her a choice, give us custody of both or they will take them.
def. get CPS involved!!