Log In Sign Up

I just want to pull out my hair!


Forum: Blended Families

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Blended Families LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
December 20th, 2010, 09:26 AM
AndyBee's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Gresham, OR
Posts: 692
We share 50/50 physical and legal custody of DF daughter Evann.

I just received a copy of an email Tim sent to the ex regarding pickup dropoff times for this week. It's completely different due to Christmas, and he wanted to confirm the days and times. Well that's all great and wonderful - EXECPT that he completely disregarded our conversation. We have her Thursday, BM has her Friday, we have her Saturday, and BM has her again Sunday.

We were supposed to drop her off on Friday at 12 - BM suggested this time. Instead he's pushing for 11. Why? I don't know. After all, we're supposed to do gifts and such with his mom that morning. It would be so much easier if we had that extra hour.

Then, I wanted to pick her up early Saturday so we have time to visit everyone he must see prior to going to my house to cook dinner for us and my family. Well, he sent in the email that we'd pick Evann up at 11 on Christmas. This doesn't work for me. I can't go with him to pick her up at 11, visit his dad, and his Grandma, and then go home to cook dinner. We talked about this REPEATEDLY. Our plan was to pick Evann up at 8 - 9 at the latest - swing by Grandma's and meet his dad there too. That way we'd be home by 10 or 11.

It's just so frustrating. Doesn't he undestand that this effects myself, and my family? He's so afraid to rock the boat, but there wasn't any problem with the times I had planned. BM was perfectly fine with them. So why did he have to go and change it? BM and I are the ones that are organized and able to keep a schedule. But she doesn't want to coordinate with me, even though the she previously agreed that would be best. Now, whenever I mention and date or time, she says that she has it covered with Tim.

Everything always revolves around Evann - and in turn BM. I'm usually glad to rearrange my schedule to pick up LO, especially if that means we get her an extra day. But when we have a set plan, and he goes and changes it for absolutely no reason it really irritates me. I feel like my plans (which are our family's plans) don't matter.

This Christmas is already stressful enough for me. It's the first year we have been together that we have Evann. I'm hosting it at my house. Not to mention I'm extremly emotional since our son, who was stillborn in October, was supposed to be due on the 23rd. This Christmas is going to be nothing like what we planned, and this is just one more thing that has me freaking out.
__________________

Special thanks to AlexAiden Mommy for my precious siggy
Reply With Quote
  #2  
December 20th, 2010, 11:04 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: East Coast :)
Posts: 1,331
...
__________________
Thanks cavewoman for the amazing siggie!

Last edited by loveneverfails; August 21st, 2012 at 06:33 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
December 20th, 2010, 12:11 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Taneytown, MD
Posts: 114,908
Send a message via Yahoo to Rachel
Sounds like you really need to have a talk with your DF and explain how he's made you feel by changing the times after you had already agreed on it. I hope it works out!

((hugs))
Reply With Quote
  #4  
December 21st, 2010, 11:57 AM
AndyBee's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Gresham, OR
Posts: 692
Quote:
Sounds like you really need to have a talk with your DF and explain how he's made you feel by changing the times after you had already agreed on it.
We had a good chat. I sent him a reply email telling him why those times don't work, and he fixed it. Then once I got home, I explained how it makes me feel, and he totally understood. He wasn't trying to put me out, and I'm very glad I brought it up to him. It was such an easy conversation, a whole lot easier than festering and gettng upset.
__________________

Special thanks to AlexAiden Mommy for my precious siggy
Reply With Quote
  #5  
December 21st, 2010, 05:49 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Taneytown, MD
Posts: 114,908
Send a message via Yahoo to Rachel
I'm glad it worked out!
Reply With Quote
  #6  
December 21st, 2010, 10:23 PM
AndreaRenee's Avatar raising boys...
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Manhattan Beach, CA
Posts: 6,053
I so understand. The scheduling stuff makes me insane.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #7  
December 22nd, 2010, 08:15 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: East Coast :)
Posts: 1,331
...
__________________
Thanks cavewoman for the amazing siggie!

Last edited by loveneverfails; August 21st, 2012 at 06:33 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
December 22nd, 2010, 10:59 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 9,127
I'm so glad you worked it out. We struggle with this too. It's always what works for bio mom, dsd and dh. No one thinks about me or my kids.

I'm very,very sorry about the loss of your baby. That must make the holiday so difficult.
__________________
Kris

My 2 miracles: Lucinda & Noah
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:27 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0