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Just curious if anyone else out there had a bad reaction to their SKids finding out they were having a new sibling. Bf of 2years has told a couple of his friends and cousins but refuses to tell his mom and son. I am worried because I will be showing soon, and feel like once people start asking questions its a bit inapropriate to tell close family members. My family knows but he is just putting it off. His primary concern is that is son will have a bad reaction to it, as I am too. But if his mom (BF's mom) finds out through the grapevine I find that she would be upset that her own son didn't tell her. Anywho I would just like to know if anyone has had serious negative reactions from kids about finding out a stepmom is pregnant.
I haven't had this issue yet, but to be perfectly honest, you are pregnant, it's nothing that you or the kid can do about it. If he's upset, well then you need to deal with it... but keeping it a secret, IMHO isn't right, and is taking away from the excitement and happiness that you are supposed to be enjoying knowing that you are creating a life.
It's happening, so I suggest just deal with it now, and get it out in the open and then you still have 6.5 months left to deal with it before the new baby arrives.
I'm 10 weeks pregnant tomorrow, but my step kids do not know yet either. My youngest son does not know too. We are waiting till I'm out of the first trimester to tell them, not because we don't want them to know.
We are hoping that it goes over well. I have no reason to believe it won't. I think you should tell him when both of you are comfortable with everyone knowing, especially step son's mom.
You know I really don't care what his mom says about it (SS mom) because quite frankly it's none of her business. I'm 28 this is my first pregnancy.. I myself am the only child so I have two very anxious soon to be grandparents happy and patiently waiting for his/her arrival. I am concerned about SS10 reaction because he has openly said he hates me and it's incredibly difficult to live with all the negative emotions involved. I have been staying here for several months now (6 or7) but recently moved my stuff in last week. He really didn't like the idea that my stuff was there and when he was at his moms house freaked out about it. He lives with us (his dad) more than 1/2 the time. I in no way expect a good or even unhostile reaction from this but really I hope I'm wrong.
I'm 36 weeks and telling my SD was the scariest thing ever. The second I got a positive I started worrying about her. She's 11 and is overly sensitive to everything. While she loves me and even likes me, she wasn't overly fond of us being together. Last January she told her dad that she didn't want him to have any more kids because he would love them more than he loved her. It devestated me because all I've ever wanted is to be a mom. He blew it off though, thinking we had plenty of time to worry about that later and that she'd come around. I found out I was pregnant in June and the worrying began.
He didn't tell her until I was 19 weeks. We wanted to make it through the first trimester, do it in person, and not on her birthday weekend, so it took that long to find an ideal time. I can't even tell you how many sleeplessness nights I had over it, how many times I cried because I was destroying her life.
It was all for nothing. Even after saying she never wanted him to have another baby less than a year ago, she was thrilled. She carried around her ultrasound picture for weeks, and everyone in her family knows and asks her about the baby. She buys her things and paints pictures for her all the time. It's sweet. Or it was, she's not speaking to us right now because we couldn't visit for Christmas. She'll get over that though.
Oy I feel for you. I didn't see how old your dsd is. That could make a huge difference.
When I found out I was pregnant (unplanned) with my son, my dh's girls where 11 & 7. The 7 year was fine with it. The 11 year old freaked. I'm sure a lot of it was her age but it's also her personality. But I do think younger kids take it better. And of course my dh's oldest didn't like the idea of us together at all. I don't think it was that she didn't like me it was that she didn't want him with anyone.
Anyway, you'll have to tell him sometime. It's not fair to anyone to keep it forever. Your bf will just have to deal with it. I hope it goes better than you think!
Im so sorry! HUGS! thats horrible thing to go through with a beautiful creation. Honestly do what feels right. they will have to know eventually. If it was me i would want to get it out in the open. done and over with. Because there is nothing you can change. and maybe he will react differently then what you think...or maybe he will freak out. but this way he has time to cope with it. it is a huge change... i would guess to try find fun activities..... to do with him. ect . i hope this helped a little *hugs* i just know it would kill me inside if i held it a secret!...
Single mommy to the most amazing child in this entire world!
Thanks so much for all the replies I'm slowly getting over it.. honestly, it is up to him right now my only concern is that I'm 11wks along in a couple of wks I'll be showing.. I just don't want to feel ashamed of my baby hump when it gets here because BF is too lazy to tell him. Not fair to me or my baby thanks so much for all the stories. I am scared but there's nothing anyone can do about it. My due date is aug 1st my BFs bday is July 31st