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Teenage girls


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  #1  
March 18th, 2011, 10:35 AM
Ponyo22's Avatar Lindsay
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 140
Wow, I feel like I'm monopolizing the board today. It's been a rocky few months and I'm just getting some time to catch up with everyone on JM.

There are many things going on with us. The issue du jour: DH and I are having a hard time with our SD, who's only 11! God help us. I envision a painful decade ahead. I understand that this is always a tough time for girls and their parents, but it's harder when a psycho ex is thrown into the mix. I was a terrible teen but somehow my parents didn't kill me and I grew out of it at about 20. My DH raised a SD through her teenage years with his ex but I get the impression they had a very rocky time of it during high school and they don't speak at all now since the divorce. A lot of things bother me about the way DH and his daughter interact.

Ugh, any advice?
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  #2  
March 18th, 2011, 11:17 AM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Taneytown, MD
Posts: 114,826
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My advise? Take lots of deep breaths, don't sweat the small stuff, don't threaten things you can't or won't do, and always follow-through with any threat that you do make.

Teenage girls are hard work. Mine took many years before I liked her again, and even still at 22, I have my moments where I could throttle her.
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  #3  
March 18th, 2011, 11:30 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 9,042
Teenager girls are tough! And you're right the teen years start earlier now.

I wish I had some magic advice. My dh has a 16 year old dd. Notice I don't say I have a 16 year old sd. I don't consider really my sd. We've never had a relationship because she never would let it happen. I came into their lives when she was 11. She also has a crazy bio mom who fueled the fire.

For me I think the difference is that my DH knows a completely different kid than I do. He remembers her when she was a sweet, adorable 3 year old and has wonderful loving memories of her. That gets him through. Me on the other hand met a nasty, coniving, manipulated young lady. BTW she no longer comes to our house & barely talks to dh. They live 4 hours away which doesn't help.
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  #4  
March 18th, 2011, 11:37 AM
Ponyo22's Avatar Lindsay
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 140
Quote:
For me I think the difference is that my DH knows a completely different kid than I do. He remembers her when she was a sweet, adorable 3 year old and has wonderful loving memories of her.
This. I agree.

I read somewhere that it's particularly hard for step-parents to deal with difficult, normal growing pains because the bio-parents have so much more history and context about how the kids got to that point. It is hard jumping into parenting for the first time at such a difficult age.
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  #5  
March 18th, 2011, 01:54 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 13,499
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachel View Post
My advise? Take lots of deep breaths, don't sweat the small stuff, don't threaten things you can't or won't do, and always follow-through with any threat that you do make.

Teenage girls are hard work. Mine took many years before I liked her again, and even still at 22, I have my moments where I could throttle her.
This a thousand times over. I'm dealing with my own teen and my dsd who's a pre-teen. My daughter I have under control so far. However, things with DSD aren't so easy. I'm truly nervous to see how that's is going to turn out. But I will take it in stride and day by day. That's all that can be done.
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