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  #1  
March 30th, 2011, 06:18 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
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A friend of mine posted this article and I wondered what y'all thought of the subject?

Mother: What's really in the name? - Sacramento Step Parenting | Examiner.com
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  #2  
March 31st, 2011, 03:52 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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I feel it should be noted, I'm not trying to start a huge debate or argument on the subject. Just curious what you guys think about it.

My stepson, on his own, started calling me 'mom' early on in my husband and I's relationship. At first we tried to get him to change it to something else but he kept calling me mom. Eventually we gave up attempting to change it. His bm HATED that he called me mom and told him he wasn't allowed. We told him those were her rules for her house and that our rule was he could decide for himself what to call me. Now that he's older he goes back and forth between 'mom' and not really calling me anything.
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  #3  
March 31st, 2011, 12:11 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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To be completely honest. I think parents who get up in arms over nicknames like MamaJ are just jealous and insecure. I know that I wouldn't like that my child would have a maternal relationship with another woman. But hey if I'm not with their dad and he moves on, shouldn't I just be happy that my kids trust another woman enough to have an endearing nickname? At the end of the day, we're all after the same goal. Raising a loving, responsible, and respectable child.
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  #4  
March 31st, 2011, 04:32 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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Quote:
Originally Posted by K.A.T View Post
To be completely honest. I think parents who get up in arms over nicknames like MamaJ are just jealous and insecure. I know that I wouldn't like that my child would have a maternal relationship with another woman. But hey if I'm not with their dad and he moves on, shouldn't I just be happy that my kids trust another woman enough to have an endearing nickname? At the end of the day, we're all after the same goal. Raising a loving, responsible, and respectable child.
This. Totally.

I can't imagine that my kids would have wanted to call their dad's girlfriend anything other than their first name(s), but it wouldn't have bothered me if they called them a special name. What's wrong with a child giving a special name to someone who is in their lives? It's like my kids call my best friend "Aunt", though she's not related to them.
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  #5  
April 1st, 2011, 11:01 AM
MommyShan's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Oregon
Posts: 550
I think it depends on the situation and whose idea it is.

In my situation, my kids don't call my ex's gf (of 2 years) by anything other than her name. In the beginning, had they called her mom, I probably wouldn't have been ok with it. But, I am aware though that that's mostly from jealousy and the feeling of trying to be replaced. Now that she has proven herself, so to speak, and I know that she truly cares about my kids, if they felt like they wanted to call her by a special name that would be ok.

My DH and his ex separated 3 years ago so their kids were 3 and 4. His ex moved from their house to her boyfriend's house and immediately told the boys to call him Daddy. In this situation, they didn't call him Daddy because of a special bond or on their own free will, but because their mom was trying to create a new family.

So if the name comes honestly because the kids feel a special bond and want a special name, then I think that's ok. I don't agree if the parent or step parent push the special name on the kids.
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  #6  
April 1st, 2011, 02:35 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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^ I agree with that. My DSD mom tried that with a boyfriend she had a few years back. Not even someone she was living with or anything. We informed DSD that her only Daddy is my DH and to never call anyone that unless she wants to call them that. That really got me more mad than him because she made a big fuss about her never calling me mom or anything close to it and here she was forcing her daughter to call another man, someone who has hardly been in her life daddy. Here we are 8.5 years later and I'm still just Liz to her. I don't mind and I would never ask her to call me anything else.
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❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11



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  #7  
April 2nd, 2011, 01:21 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 9,241
I'm torn on this one. Here's why:

I am grateful that I met & then married a man who doesn't care about biology. That my dd became the 2nd child in his life that he wasn't biologically related to that he fathered and loved just as he does the 2 children he is biologically related to him. My dd called him daddy on her own. But then her bio dad wasn't in her life very much & when he was, he was reeking havoc & definitely not being a good dad.

Now on the other hand.... I'm not in the situation but I would have issues with my children calling any other than me mom. I'm ok with Mommy Betty or some version of that but not mom. Not because I'm insecure but because I suffered from 8 years of infertility - did IVF to get my daughter & only 1 egg survived - I had a 5% chance of becoming pregnant & luckily did. Then when she was 2 & I was 38, I got separated. So all thoughts of having another child were squashed or so I thought. Then I met a wonderful guy & oooops there was my beautiful boy. I know no one can replace me but I really earned that title & it means more to me than just a nickname. So to me any woman in their lives would really have to earn that title.

Just like my bff who they call Aunty - but she earned that title by being there for me & for them. Not just because she's a friend.
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