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I haven't posted in a while, I just haven't had the time or the desire but I need some advice/help.
My DSD is 13 (14 in Aug) and I noticed about a year and a half ago that her eating habits changed. I was snooping and I read in her diary that she thinks she has an eating disorder and a couple of her friends know and are trying to help her.
She's about 5"5 and 115 lbs and she thinks that 115lbs is still too much. She really is beautiful and people tell her this all the time. She gets a lot of positive comments from her friends and family on a regular basis.
She eats small portions and doesn't usually finish her lunch. She doesn't have the best eating habits in way that she chooses her food (empty calories, junk). Now all of a sudden she has said that she thinks she's got lactose intolerance (this is a new thing. Not sure if it's a cover up but she has never mentioned this before) I am worried she might try throwing up if she hasn't already. I am going to keep a close watch on her though.
I don't know how I can confront her about it. She will know that I read her private diary (I know I am terrible for doing this but I feel like i'm the only one who's concerned for her)... she never really talks to me or hubby about really personal things unless I ask. Dh is honestly never around very much and when he is home he's not talking about personal things with the kids. He's usually on his phone or the computer. I am also not on speaking terms with her mom and she would flip out if she knew I did what I did. So I don't think I can confront her about it. I am the only one who knows about this and it's only due to my snooping around. I don't want her to feel like she can't trust me but I don't know when the appropriate time to intervene is..
Any advice? It doesn't help that she has an overweight mom and an overweight step-mom who are both struggling with our own insecurities and weight issues. We are not very good role models
I really don't have any advice. We do have a Eating Disorder board here at JM. Perhaps some of the members who are or have struggled with an ED, can give you some insight. It's listed under the Women's Health section, towards the bottom of the board list.
If you don't want to let her know you read her diary, just mention that you've noticed her eating habits have changed and is anything going on? Also you might want to get her a wellness check with the doctor so that if she is losing too much, the doctor can know about it too. (this could be explained to your sd as a routine check up appt)