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Wow she's a piece of work. I got out of a truly bad marriage - WITH my dd! I didn't leave her behind! (not saying what she's saying is true just that this line is a bunch of hoey!)
Oh & putting down a cat is more important than your child That's insane! I don't care how old the cat is!
Poor girl! I do have some experience in this area since dd's bio dad gave up his parental rights. Even though dh adopted her, she still feels the loss of bio dad - even though he wasn't in her life much. I'm glad she has you. I would say you aren't 2nd to her bio mom. I'd say you are 1st. She may always yearn for what she doesn't have with bio mom but that doesn't make you any less important.