Log In Sign Up

She is not allowed to talk to him or see him.


Forum: Blended Families

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Blended Families LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
April 26th, 2011, 09:48 PM
Motherx3's Avatar <3
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 55
My step son is 3 years old and just a little background. His BM is a drug addict, lives 3 hours away and decideds to call her son once every couple months or stop by and demand to see him.

Jayden is autistic and it has really effected the progress he has made. We just got him potty trained and in preschool, he is now speaking about 20-25 words and is generally a happy boy. Anytime she pops in and out he learns swears, decreases in speaking and pees the bed at night.

I have spoken with the dh about this issue and we have both decided that she should not be involved in his life as I have spoken to her about these issues and tried coming up with nightly calls to be involved daily but again she didnt take that and now she continues to call even at 3 am ...what child is up that late? My question is : is this my business being involved in this, Im very protective of Jayden and I really loathe this woman for the things she has done to this little boy, but do you think this will potential cause a conflict between jayden and I years down the road?
__________________
MOTHER OF THREE
Reply With Quote
  #2  
April 27th, 2011, 08:41 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 2,399
My opinion is it is absolutely your business. This child is in your home, therefore he's your concern. As far as who interacts with the BM, that's between you and your husband.

As to whether or not it'd cause conflict, I think that if he were typically developing it would be brought up but only so he'd have something to yell about when he's feeling conflicted about stuff. However with ASD, it may not be an issue just because it's how it always was and will just be accepted. But even that depends on how high/low functioning he is as he gets older.

You might want to get his doctor involved in the discussion about how much/little contact BM has. Might pull more weight (probably not but ya never know) if a doctor is saying "this is his routine and it needs not deviated from or it will cause him distress." Having the doctor back you up will also help if you end up in court again.

Good luck! I know first hand how hard ASD can be. I wouldn't change a minute of it though. I choose to look at the blessings of ASD instead of the negative.
__________________

Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
Reply With Quote
  #3  
April 27th, 2011, 11:43 AM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Taneytown, MD
Posts: 114,676
Send a message via Yahoo to Rachel
I completely agree. It's definitely your business, especially if your case is similar to mine and you are the primary care giver for him while your DH works.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
April 27th, 2011, 01:14 PM
Motherx3's Avatar <3
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 55
Thank you for all the advice, I am the primary care giver and I felt and do feel as though he is Mine and I was wondering if my emotions were getting in the way but every bone in my body aches when she is around him, and my heart aches even more when he realizes she's not staying. I think I will talk to his doctor and try and get this into court, to stop the harrasment and constant phone calls in the middle of the night.
__________________
MOTHER OF THREE
Reply With Quote
  #5  
April 28th, 2011, 03:51 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 2,399
Another thought: Do you have the option of turning off the ringer during the night? I know I frequently turn off our phones at night and just rely on my cell phone. And if it's you're cell she's calling, some have a 'block' feature which is AWESOME and I completely wish my new phone had. It still rings in, but without you hearing it ring. It goes to voicemail. That way if it happens to be something worth caring about, you'll know yet the only way you know they are calling in the moment, is if you happen to glance at your phone while it's ringing for them.

(did i explain that clear enough. my brain doesn't function before noon....LOL)
__________________

Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
Reply With Quote
  #6  
April 28th, 2011, 08:15 PM
Motherx3's Avatar <3
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 55
Oh great Idea on the blocking, that's what Im going to do for sure!! Yes it made sense, thank you!!
__________________
MOTHER OF THREE
Reply With Quote
  #7  
April 29th, 2011, 07:16 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 2,399
You're welcome (and glad I was making sense)
__________________

Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
Reply With Quote
  #8  
May 13th, 2011, 10:24 PM
Motherx3's Avatar <3
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 55
,....Great just when I come up with a solution she decided to move back and not only wants to see her son but take her ex husband ( my boyfriend) too...
Not that dh wants her, just another thing for my mind to worry about....
__________________
MOTHER OF THREE
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:56 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0