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Question regarding BM/ex and your birth child


Forum: Blended Families

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  #1  
May 23rd, 2011, 06:03 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 196
Silly question, but it's been on my mind a bit.

Have you introduced your child to BM?

I haven't seen BM in a long time - especially since pregnant. She comes over to pick up SD on occasion and I sometimes wonder how it will be if my boy is around. I am not trying to borrow worry, but just curious as to how other blended families handle this sort of thing.

If you don't have a BM, but an ex-husband you co parent with, perhaps you can answer the same - if he's met your birthchild with your new husband?
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  #2  
May 23rd, 2011, 06:26 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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Location: NYC
Posts: 13,499
Yeah, she saw little Kev by the time he was 6 months old. She fell in love with him and thought he was the cutest thing. Then again she could have just been playing nice, but considering both kids look a lot like DH, I doubt that. Besides he is a pretty handsome kid if I say so myself. lol
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Last edited by K.A.T; May 23rd, 2011 at 06:28 PM.
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  #3  
May 23rd, 2011, 07:21 PM
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She met Daniel the first time when he was 7 days old, when we finally got her to participate in visitation after a lengthy court battle. He knows her as Will & Clayton's mom and she's usually friendly with him. It's me she can't stand.

My own kids have never met her personally, though Sarah has seen her once or twice. James had an encounter with her on the phone (he eventually hung up on her) and that's it. Neither have any desire to interact with her and I'm fine with that. They are adults.
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  #4  
May 24th, 2011, 12:38 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Ohio
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I would rather be able to say that my DD has never met my SS's bio mom, but that is untrue. During the time that I was working, my boyfriend met her at Wal-mart when she wanted to pick my SS up and since I was at work, he had both kids with him. I wasn't happy with this, but nothing I could do to change the past, so from now on, I make sure that they have no contact.

Nothing against BM's in general, but even if she wasn't my boyfriend's ex, she is not that kind of person that I would want around my children.
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  #5  
May 24th, 2011, 12:52 PM
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BM has met my kids but only briefly at dropoffs & pickup. Thankfully her nastiness is only behind our backs & she's very, friendly & nice to our faces. But that being said, I chose not to take my kids to Dh's grandmother's funeral because I was afraid of what his 16 year old dd might do.
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  #6  
May 24th, 2011, 01:52 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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I have a question for those of you that do not have the kids meet or be around BM. How would you handle a situation that everyone had to be there, i.e. child's graduation. Would you not take your younger kids, not your own bio kids, but the one(s) that are related to your step child?
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❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11



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  #7  
May 24th, 2011, 02:00 PM
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Right now both kids are 5 and under so we haven't ran into any situations like that yet, but I know with my SS starting school in the fall, that they are likely going to start coming up in the near future and I'll be honest and say that I haven't completely thought this through yet. I suppose as long as I was there to closely supervise the interaction, I would feel more comfortable if it was a situation that required all of us to be there, but I'm still not going to let her near my DD anymore that I absolutely have to.
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  #8  
May 25th, 2011, 05:22 AM
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Join Date: Mar 2011
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Yeah. There for a while BM & her family treated my son better than my in-laws did. They even bought him a Christmas present one year (maybe more but i only remember the one year cause it was a toy my daughter now plays with)
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  #9  
May 25th, 2011, 11:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by K.A.T View Post
I have a question for those of you that do not have the kids meet or be around BM. How would you handle a situation that everyone had to be there, i.e. child's graduation. Would you not take your younger kids, not your own bio kids, but the one(s) that are related to your step child?

We have a weird sitution. Dh's 16 year old has chosen not to be a part of our family in any way. When told that meant she wouldn't ever know her younger brother, she chose to still stay away. For me it was all or nothing. My dd & ds are a pair. We don't segregate dd out because she isn't Dh's bio child. And since the adoption, she is really on the same level as Dh's oldest (not his biological child - bio mom had an affair & he chose to raise her as his own).

In addition, they live 4 hours away. So if they have an event, Dh goes alone or sometimes with his mother (kid's grandmother). When Dh gets or drops off dsd, he goes alone because of the long drive.

We did see her after Christmas because she was in our area visiting a friend. Usually when she drops off or picks up at the house, dh meets them outside & only dsd comes in. But this time she had a flight to catch & dh was working at that time so I had to handle the drop off.
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