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Summer vacations. How does it work?


Forum: Blended Families

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  #1  
May 23rd, 2011, 06:24 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Taneytown, MD
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Do you see your kids more or less often? How about the step-kids? More or less often?

My kids see their dad whenever they feel like driving the hour to his house. He rarely comes here anymore, but they are grown so that's fine.

Our custody order with Will & Clayton has no specific provisions about summer vacation, so I'm not sure what, if any, extra time she's gonna get. Neely and I have not discussed it and she, so far, has not asked.
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  #2  
May 23rd, 2011, 06:51 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 13,499
My kids go and spend a few weeks with my Mom at the beach. I need the break so I'm really grateful for it.

With DSD we're supposed to get her every other week in the summer but it cost us more in the long run. So now we make sure to send my kids off for a few weeks then go get them from Mom and pick her up on our way home. Then she stays for about a month straight.
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  #3  
May 23rd, 2011, 08:47 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 196
We have 50/50 custody so other than BM taking her for a full week - as we do too, there is no change. She goes to school in the summer as well.
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  #4  
May 24th, 2011, 11:56 AM
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Join Date: Sep 2005
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Their custody agreement doesn't have anything specific for the summer. We usually get youngest sd for the week we're on vacation. We usually can't do more because we both work & daycare cost is crazy for 2 let alone 3 kids. This summer we're hoping to have her more since we're hiring a babysitter to come to the house.

But in the end, it's up to Dh to talk to his ex. It's driving me crazy because we've know for months now what week we're taking our vacation & he hasn't talked to his ex yet. It's the end of May!!!! Schools out in 2 weeks. What's he waiting for!
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  #5  
May 24th, 2011, 12:55 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 13,499
A swift kick in the behind! Men I swear I don't get why they fear talking to these women so much. Don't the realize that they will have the bigger headache at home?
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❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11



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  #6  
May 24th, 2011, 01:22 PM
Turtlesong's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Georgia
Posts: 151
I have physical custody of my DS and he has sole custody of my DSD so both kids live with us.

His ex doesn't have any visitation addressed at all in their divorce papers but DH lets her get DSD whenever she wants. She moved back to our area in Oct 09 and gets DSD overnight once every 3 or so months. Last summer she got her for a full weekend to go out of town for a family reunion and that was about it. I don't know what'll happen this summer. No word from her since DH turned her in for not paying her child support for the last year.

In my divorce papers it says my ex gets DS for two consecutive weeks during the summer but he has to give me a month's written notice. This is the first time I've made him do so because he's started the "I"m taking you to court" talk again over BS that he wouldn't win anyway and he's $5000 behind in child support right now. My DS will probably be going to spend the first two weeks of summer with my Mom in Alabama and the next two weeks with his Dad. His Dad has never actually kept him for that long so he'll probably end up taking DS back to my Mom's. Especially since they just moved to Panama City and he just started a new job. I haven't asked him yet how he's going to do that. I hate him being away for so long. I used to have to do this when I was working b/c of child care costs but now that I don't have to it's a lot harder.
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  #7  
May 25th, 2011, 10:30 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by K.A.T View Post
A swift kick in the behind! Men I swear I don't get why they fear talking to these women so much. Don't the realize that they will have the bigger headache at home?

Yes he does! It's so annoying!!!!!

The thing I love about him the most is that he's calm & laid back but it also drives me crazy! And I can guarantee his sitting on this is going to end up changing our schedule in some way. It always does But as long as bio mom is happy.....
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  #8  
May 30th, 2011, 08:11 AM
mom2more's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,679
My custody agreement with my ex gives him EOW all year long as well as one weeknight. He rarely takes the weeknight anymore, he used it more before ds was school aged. During summers he also gets a 2 week visitation. But his job is much busier in the summer so he has never taken a 2 week visitation or even a week. But if he ends up with a weekday off here and there ds is usually able to go see him. And sometimes he will take a few weekends in a row if we have nothing going on. And ds goes with his dad's sister on long weekends sometimes to visit ds's grandma who moved a few hours away. We are pretty flexible with visitation and get along pretty well.

My husband has sole custody of my stepkids and the custody agreement has no outlined visitation....it says something to the effect of my husband has to agree to it. He used to be pretty lenient with visitation until bm started being irresponsible right around the time we married. We found out her boyfriend was very mean to her in front of the kids and she also started moving constantly (even out of state)and not contacting the kids for months at a time. She had 2 more kids and kept using them as an excuse to blow off my stepkids (i.e. your little bro/sis is sick, I had to take them somewhere, we were at the ER, etc.)

So now dh is at the point where if bm wants to see the kids its only for a few hours and never sleepovers. She really doesn't try to see them anyways. Last time she spent a whole day with them was last summer when her own parents were in state visiting. This summer will be the same. Her parents always come in for a week or soin the summer and they take the kids during that time. They coordinate activities with bm involved, but the kids sleep wherever the grandparents are staying.

This summer the grandparents are planning on actually staying at bm's house with the kids since this is the first time bm and her boyfriend have had their own place. Usually they are renting rooms in houses with lots of other people. We are a little nervous about the kids sleeping at bm's, but since grandparents will be there I am sure boyfriend will be minding his P's and Q's. Bm's family hates the boyfriend and he knows it.
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