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Oh wow. Id definitely have dh confront her on all this. It doesn't sound very stable. At all. And I'd definitely not like the old bf watching the kid. Who else will she hand him off to? And what are they capable of?
I'm always paranoid about who had time alone with my kids. And especially who they are calling mommy or daddy.
My sd8 had been calling her step dad "daddy" for years. Now bm is divorcing him.
It's very confusing to them.
Jade Ja Kang
6lb 10 oz
DH needs to say something, even if nothing gets done, at least he addressed the situation. We had the same problem, BM would jump from dude to dude and always dragged DSD with her. We hated it and spoke up about it all the time, not that anything got done but at least she knew that DH wasn't OK with it.
❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11
I don't see an issue with this boy spending time with a man that he saw as a father figure for 4 years. Although bio mom may be dumping him off for her benefit, I do think as long as the boy & the man are good with it, it's probably healthy. Why should this boy loose a significant figure in his life cause they broke up? This isn't a stranger to the boy!
Now the new boyfriend is another issue. However, I don't know that you can do much about it. What bio mom does in her parenting time is her business unfortunately. BTW I do understand. Dh's ex just got divorced & has already introduced a new man to his dds. Even went so far as to bring this guy to DH's grandmother's funeral But I'm afraid there isn't much we can do about it.
Why should this boy loose a significant figure in his life cause they broke up? This isn't a stranger to the boy!
Exactly what I was thinking. I would like to think that if for some unforeseen reason, my BF and I broke up, that I would still get to see Meyson since I've been in his life since he was 2.
I would be upset about her bringing a new man into your DSS's life so fast, but I think the most that you can do is share your feelings, but I don't know how much good it would do you. She may actually resent you guys for it and feel that you're butting into her business, which in a way you would be. As long as this new guy isn't abusive or an immediate threat to the well being of the child, I don't see that's there's anything to be done.
It sounds like she's putting your ss in a very unstable situation to me.
I do agree with "what each parent does on their own parenting time is their business" to a certain extent. Not when it involves the physical or emotional well being of my kids.
It doesn't sound like bm had a good history of picking out good SO's to be around her child. What happens when one of these turns out to be a child molester or abuser?
If shea making patterns of bringing bad role models around ss, I'd bring it up.
I'd also document it all, just in case an urgent situation comes up and you and dh find yourself seeking the courts help.
Jade Ja Kang
6lb 10 oz
Trust me I understand. I just got out of court in Jan 2010 and feel as though I may be headed back due to safety issues.
My ex has let a few things happen.
Dd5 broke her arm requiring surgery and rods.
Wasn't wearing a bike helmet during the accident.
They constantly put her in a regular booster seat without the back because the sm can't be bothered with going through the extra steps to use the back.
Anyway. It's always something safety wise.
Ds9 had a bad tooth that needed a root canal. Ex wanted to just pull the tooth rather than pay his half. It's an adult tooth!!
I'm just like...geeze!
I feel your frustration.
Jade Ja Kang
6lb 10 oz