[ElizabethS]

Unfortunately I have to sort of give background to our whole situation in order for anyone to give their opinions. I need help for people who have been on other side of this issue...either receiving child support or sending child support..moms or dads.

I met my SO in December 2004. He had been seperated from his wife for 2 1/2 years, and his divorce/child custody battle had been going on a little over a year. I became pregnant in February 2005, and we had our first son together in November (he's now almost 8 months old). He has two previous children from his marriage..a soon-to-be 5 year old girl and a soon-to-be 8 year old boy. His wife left him (she had been cheating on him the entire 7 year marriage..and yes he has DNA'ed the children, both are his thank goodness), and abandoned the children for a little over a year when they were younger. She came back and stole them out of school and daycare, and no one would help my SO get them back because he hadn't filed a temporary custody order for abandonment and hadn't started divorce proceedings etc. She has had the children since then (early 2003), and the divorce has still been going on. My SO was trying to get custody but has hit brick walls in every direction, regardless of the fact that this so-called mother abandoned her children.

Anyways, my SO has dropped the custody battle and now obviously wants the divorce over so that we can get on with our lives, get married, etc, without this hanging over our heads. We FINALLY got a court date..but we aren't sure if its the FINAL thing..the papers say its an "Order Setting Non-Jury Trial and Direction Pre-Trial Compliance". It will go over all the issues of personal property (long since dispersed etc), child custody, child support, alimony, all of the issues normally in a dissolussionment of marriage.

My questions are this:

In April 2005 in the temporary order my SO was only making $1500 a mos and was ordered to pay $259.83 bi-weekly. His expenses, as well, were much much lower (probably only around $1000 a mos). She lied on her affadavit and said she was only making $620 which we know is BS but that is besides the point. Anyways they are requesting a new financial affadavit. His income fluxuates because he is self-employed and works on commission..but he makes anywhere from $2500-$4500 a month. A BIG variability! Our bills are around $3800 a mos right now including the CS etc. I bring in no money because I am just a college student, and am raising our son. Her apartment itself costs $975 a mos but she is still claiming she only makes $620 a mos! HUH?

To the questions I guess...will they take into consideration that he has a new dependent (our son) and higher expenses, when they re-do this financial affadavit? Or does she automatically just get 1/3 of his money regardless of his expenses and dependents? We were told by one lawyer that they won't figure into the equation Alex..his new dependent..because he came after the other two. HUH??!?!?? That's insane! If they won't take that into consideration we'll have to cough up around $1300 a month we assume..in which case we will be homeless and out on the streets!

Another question is this...she is demanding alimony. Now she worked the entire marriage, albeit under the table, but she claims he has to pay to put her through college so she can better herself and get a degree to make more money. HUH? She doesn't ever have her GED. Is he REALLY responsible for this crap? I live with him and don't expect him to pay for my college and wouldn't even if we were married..I am going off of scholarships and student loans to further and better MYSELF. He wanted her to get her GED and also go to college and better herself but she never showed any intitiative and was always happy with a waitress/hostess job. Which she is still doing.

Last question is she filed for divorce..but she wants HIM to pay for HER attorneys fees (when my SO was the one who was served the papers and she already had a lawyer and he had to seek power of attorney). Yes he wanted custody so it's drawn out a bit, and he's dropping it now, but shouldn't they EACH be responsible for their OWN fees? That's part of what she is claiming she wants paid.

Thanks in advance for anyone who is willing to help out! I'm about ready to tear my hair out and chew my nails off. Our whole future rides on this upcoming court date in August.

Elizabeth

[appifanie]

i have noooooooo idea. CS/divorce is a major PITA, isn't it? just wanted to wish you good luck!!

[Offlikeapromdress]

I do know that, at least here in Missouri, if the xwife or wife files for more child support then they will look at your DH's other children. But if your DH files to modify CS then they wont. I dont know why this is like this but we are going thru this now. We originally filed to modify the parenting plan and she countered asking for more child support so this is what our lawyer told us. He told us not to even address the CS issue with her b/c if she continues to pursue this we will actually get ours reduced b/c we have three children now and the CS was set before we got togehter and had children.


I know its all a pain and we filed with the courts over a year ago and are just now getting to do depositions. Its a pain in the butt and they have been divorced for 12 yrs but you would never know it. She is constantly trying to fight with us over everything. Good Luck!!!

WOW!! EECK...and I thought DH had it bad....

I don't know how the laws are set up in Florida, but I know how things kind of go here in AZ.

So here goes:

1) NO....they don't take into consideration his other dependents. Even if you two end up
having 12 kids.

2) I'm not sure on this one....but, I think you can fight to NOT have to pay Alimony if he can
prove she had income, and that when she abandoned her kids for almost a year, she didn't
require financial assistance.

3) Unfortunately, I think she can request him to pay Attorney's fees. But your SO can also
request her to pay his Attorney's fees.

Again, I'm not a lawyer but I hope you find the answers to your questions so that this can
be over for you guys. The EX sounds like a REAL "piece of work".

[Jinxcat]

Well, here in Illinos they do take into account if he has other dependents. Please check what is the case in your state. Good luck to you and your family.

[Mommy2oo6]

I know this is kind of late, but I didn’t realize Justmommies had this group. I have a 10 year old DSD, and have been dealing with DH ex for 8 years now. It was very painful to say the least but after finding the resources I got the Parenting Plan in place, and the CS order reduced! Let's just say the ex and I HATE eachother, but have an understanding now.

We were told by one lawyer that they won't figure into the equation Alex..his new dependent..because he came after the other two. HUH??!?!?? That's insane![/b]

Unfortunately it’s true. I don’t understand why they think the first child is anymore important then the second, third or fourth…

If they won't take that into consideration we'll have to cough up around $1300 a month we assume..in which case we will be homeless and out on the streets![/b]

If he only makes $1500.00 a month, how are they allowed to do that? Here is Florida’s Child Support Worksheet~ http://www.myflorida.com/dor/childsupport/pdf/poz8.pdf It will give you guys an estimate of what the courts should order. What does it come up with?

When DH and his ex did their financial affidavits they had to also provide paystubs. You guys need to request those through the court to prove how much she makes.

Another question is this...she is demanding alimony. Now she worked the entire marriage, albeit under the table, but she claims he has to pay to put her through college so she can better herself and get a degree to make more money. HUH?[/b]

If you guys can prove she’s working then I don’t believe she’s entitled to Alimony any longer. Now if she wasn’t currently working and he supported her (even if she made money under the table) for 2+ years, then yes she can ask for it. WHAT A WITCH!

Last question is she filed for divorce..but she wants HIM to pay for HER attorneys fees[/b]

Tell her and her attorney to go fly a kite! http://www.divorcenet.com/states/florida/fl_art05 < --- good link about adultery in Florida.

Hang in there sweetie, I know it’s not easy!

Oh and I'm sending you a PM