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Stepmoms to Teens, I have a question


Forum: Blended Families

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  #1  
June 27th, 2006, 12:59 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 811
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stepdaughter is coming to visit for 4 wks in 2 wks and Im getting ready to have a baby in 4wks. Did ya get that? lol

My question is normally we have no schedule or routine when she comes for summer visits; we just go with the flow. But in the past year due to us taking her mom back to court for modification of the parenting/visitation plan and her mom countersuing us for full custody and more child support things have gotten sticky and SD has started to act out. Such as bad attitude, lying, sneaking things, getting into our pc and getting on sites we dont allow. Now, i have a 3 yr old and a 1yr old and will be SD primary caregiver during the hours of 530am-530pm during the week. I do let DH handle all discipline issues but of course, some things will have to handled during the day. Im expecting she will come with a bad attitude as she has for the last year on her bimonthly visits.
Here is my question:

I have tried scheduling as many things as possible for us to do outside of the house for the first two weeks, but lets be realistic, I will be 2 wks from my csection and its 100 here, Im not gonna feel like being out in the heat too much. Ya know? So my thought was that if I set up a "house rules" sort of posterboard in our kitchen and a daily calendar to follow so that she is completely aware of what we are doing, maybe I might be able to alleviate any problems. Such as Mondays we do house cleaning (she is 13) so she can help since my 3 yr old helps out. Tuesday's we do laundry (if we are home). She has a tendency to not help out and I have to ask a hundred times. What do you think? Or is there a better way for me to approach this?

Let me know. Im trying to get as much stuff done in these last two weeks before she comes.
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  #2  
July 3rd, 2006, 10:30 AM
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  #3  
July 10th, 2006, 10:36 AM
diznynurse's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 5,278
Hello, new to this board. Just found it in fact. I have a dsd who is almost 13. She has been living with us since Jan 2005. Prior to that she visited every summer for 2 mo. Her mom is in VA, we are in FL. Okay, when she was younger, we didn't require her to do chores. We did require her to keep her room clean. Since she's been living with us we do require her to do chores, help with laundry, clean kitchen every night, clean her bathroom every Sat, and pick up living rooms so I can vaccuum every Sat. And in return she earns allowance so she can buy herself clothes, cd's dvd's etc. If she fails to do a chore, or to do it correctly then she has to give us back some money. She also has a tendency to lie, and manipulate, and she has consequences for that also. She is at her mom's for this summer, and will return in 2 weeks.


I hope this helps even though it's a lil different situation. My dsd always thought she should get whatever she wanted when she wanted without earning anything, but now she realizes that she has to earn what she gets! We do have our bad moments because she doesn't like to do chores. But we get through them.

Good Luck.
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