[Stepmom2Be]

Did you find your feelings towards biomom changed when you had a kid of your own?

When Eric and I have out own kid, I feel like, and kind of hope, that I will be able to better understand O's mom. Right now I am an outsider with no kids of my own, trying to decide if she should be able to see her own kid.

I feel like when I have a kid of my own, my own flesh and blood, I might be able to empathize with her a little more. I'm still angry at what she did...

But I went through a 6 month depression where I made a lot of bad choices. I like to think I would never make those choices again, but I can only guarantee how I feel at the current moment.

I just hope one day I can stop being bitter about everything. I respect her, and I think it's good I can admit that. Idk. my head is in a fog today

[Ember Rose]

No. I don't have a child of my own but I've been pregnant. And I just don't think it's fair that I didn't get to have my child but she did and she's consistently chosen men over her little boy. Screw her she'll never have my sympathy.

[LoriLou35]

I already have kids, but I can tell you that having your own kids does change your perspective. There are moments when BM is SOOOO mad about something that Jared thinks is totally ridiculous, and if I put myself in her shoes I can sympathize. I don't always agree with her decisions, and she infuriates me to no end!!! That said....it does make it easier to relate when you are a mother yourself.

[K.A.T]

That's a tough one. I've always had a child in my situation. My daughter is older than his. Sometime it helps me sympathize with her and at other times it makes me dislike her even more because I would never do or say some of the things she does.

[QUOTE=K.A.T;25565772]That's a tough one. I've always had a child in my situation. My daughter is older than his. Sometime it helps me sympathize with her and at other times it makes me dislike her even more because I would never do or say some of the things she does.[/QUOTE]

Same here.

I do think that you will understand her position a bit more to some degree. How could you not?

I think it's great that you have the integrity and maturity to reflect on your own mistakes when trying to sort through your judgements on hers. It's a great step in forgiveness and healing. I hope she keeps it together too for everyones sake. I know I wouldn't be anywhere in my own life if I didn't have forgiveness of the things I have said and done. To extend that to another person is one of the greatest gifts to give for you and O.

[My2miracles]

I had 1 child before but it doesn't make me empathize with bio mom at all. Actually makes me dislike her & her decision more because I couldn't imagine doing the things she's done to my children.

[plan4fate]

JM ate my flipping reply. grrrr.


We already have a lot of contention, especially concerning DSS's education and behavior. Her "he's like dad" attitude is going to impact him later in life even worse than it does now. Many things don't get dealt with, or not in an effective way. One day it's going to affect MY kids at home, and DH is going to wish he had dealt with it when he hurts his baby sibling for touching something that belongs to him (he cannot share, even with adults.. he will try and hit us too).

[Admin-Rachel]

I already had children, and then had two more. I don't feel sorry for her because she has made many bad choices to get to where we are.

If she were legitimately sick or had an addiction, I might. But really her only trouble is her inability to tell the truth.