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  #1  
May 16th, 2012, 06:40 AM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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When bm's friends advise each other on how to communicate with exes, and she chimes in by mentioning that she only talks via email (which was at our insistence and we have had to remind her twice that we do not wish to have any conversations over the phone - she has called us a handful of times anyway and we just don't answer it unless her voicemail indicates its important, which is almost never - she also advises blocking IM, which we did to her over two years ago because she was sending dh messages every night and the majority were her trying to share dumb pictures that she found on the Internet - and as recently as last week we had to ask her to please stop texting is).

She also advises to keep it under 3 sentences (which she does do, but again, it was at our repeated insistence that chit chat had no place any email correspondence and to please refrain from it).

Always good for a giggle.
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  #2  
May 16th, 2012, 08:24 AM
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  #3  
May 16th, 2012, 11:20 AM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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Don't get me wrong - those are GREAT communication guidelines and they are very effective in terms of minimizing drama and someone's ability to manipulate. Solid boundaries are an absolute must and when someone oversteps them it is crucial to reinforce them for protection.

Thats exactly why *dh and myself* have insisted on all of those things. Where we used to get at least one phone call and several IMs from her every day that talked about everything from generic 'pay attention to me' chit chat to 'Hey. I saw xyz on sale and wanted to tell you about it!' to 'My computer monitor isn't working - what do you think is wrong with it?' to 'so and so and I broke up. At least he got to sleep wih me! LOL', we now only get an occasional email that actually covers relevant issues and nothing more. Rarely we'll get one that isn't relevant and we ignore it altogether. We don't answer phone calls and have asked that the texts stop. It's a lot easier on both of us mentally to have that sort of set up in place.

I just think the implication that it's that way because *she* has insisted in it and we're somehow the ones constantly overstepping is comical. Totally unsurprising but comical.
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Last edited by Keakie; May 16th, 2012 at 12:20 PM.
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  #4  
May 16th, 2012, 12:37 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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Too funny! She's got great ideas. *tongue firmly planted in cheek*
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  #5  
May 16th, 2012, 01:48 PM
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haha.!

I wish DH would set up similair boundaries.. he spends half the time on the phone when he calls the kids on the phone with her cuz she wants to tell him EVERYTHING going on in her life, unless it has something to do with the kids.. why does she think he cares to know? lol
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  #6  
May 16th, 2012, 02:58 PM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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That sounds annoying. If it helps, it's been a learning curve for us. Her constant boundarilessness was always irritating but for awhile dh would bite his tongue and put up with it because he felt like he had to be the nice guy. Eventually we saw just how much she was using that and realized that placing a boundary that separated personal lives from issues related to the kids did not make us bad people. We arent unkind to her; it's a neutral clear and firm. She considers our emails "abusive" now but whatever. We know they aren't and value our comfort level and mental well being much more than her opinion, so how she chooses to interpret them is her problem. Besides, I'm fairly sure that she uses the word "abusive" to describe anything she doesn't like.
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  #7  
May 16th, 2012, 03:36 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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What a great idea! Why didn't you think about it first?
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  #8  
May 16th, 2012, 05:24 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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LOL!

Oh the credit that woman steals from you guys.
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  #9  
May 17th, 2012, 09:42 AM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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She works very hard to make sure the internet knows just how awesome she is. /sarcasm
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Last edited by Keakie; May 17th, 2012 at 09:48 AM.
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  #10  
May 17th, 2012, 10:21 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keakie View Post
She works very hard to make sure the internet knows just how awesome she is. /sarcasm

LMAO!!!!!! She seems to put a lot of time into it too.... I barely have time to pee when Reme's around.. how the heck does she do it with 5 kids? I don't know how any of you guys do it with more than one kiddo!!!!!! I barely get any JM time when he's around.. cause he wants me to read what I'm doing to him (and some of what I read.. not so 6 year old friendly)
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Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motility Vitamins started August 2nd.


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  #11  
May 17th, 2012, 11:47 AM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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I only have Keelan during the school days, Ashley and he can entertain himself pretty well. Also, I use the Forum Runner app on my phone a lot. Evenings are a little tough sometimes, but my kids are older and want to do their own thing anyway.
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  #12  
May 17th, 2012, 12:34 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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My kids are older so they entertain themselves or take care of themselves. The bigger ones also help with lil Kev, who's not so little anymore. Once Ethan is around, I'll only have time while he's napping.
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  #13  
May 17th, 2012, 12:44 PM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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4 of the 5 are in school during the week, and the youngest she tends to stick in front of Thomas on Netflix so I'm guessing that's where she finds the time. That's all I can figure - when they're here, I'm lucky if I get to do so much as check Facebook.
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  #14  
May 18th, 2012, 10:21 AM
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That is a good plan in place!!!
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  #15  
May 19th, 2012, 10:20 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keakie View Post
4 of the 5 are in school during the week, and the youngest she tends to stick in front of Thomas on Netflix so I'm guessing that's where she finds the time. That's all I can figure - when they're here, I'm lucky if I get to do so much as check Facebook.
but when you do we often get adorable pictures of the little one on your lap!!!!!!


Reme's soooo not an independent. DH can block him out better than I can, so I end up being the one being drug around, rolled on, climbed on... Unless I have the webcam on, then he MUST be sitting with me.. nosy lil thing.

But he likes to see his "cousins" (aka, my cousins). They've taught the baby to say his name.. only.. he's now MeMe. LOL.
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TTC #1 together since December 2011
ttc naturally until end of year

May 6th- bfp @ 10dpo ended in a Chemical Pregnancy May 15th @5w1d


Me: Hashi's, PCOS,Multiple miscarriages
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motility Vitamins started August 2nd.


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