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  • 2 Post By Rachel
  • 1 Post By My2miracles
  • 1 Post By plan4fate

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  #1  
June 16th, 2012, 08:00 PM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,177
I just feel like there's always SOMETHING getting to me.

O's mom texted Eric last week and said "I want to join O up for swimming lessons. Theres only one kid signed up so he'll practically have private lessons. It's 75 a month, do you want to pay half?"

Eric said, "He knows how to swim, what are the lessons for?" She said, "Teamwork, team sport, safety around water, exercise."

Team sport? With one other kid signed up? Seriously? Eric said, "Id rather sign him up for something he'd enjoy that isn't a waste of money." and she never replied.

Then she says she finally found one of the tee shirts of his we bought that SHE lost like 6 months ago. She found it when she was cleaning her condo. Sounds like her condo was pretty messy if she just happened to come across it while cleaning.

And what does she send him to our house in today? Our shirt. Now we have nothing to send him to her in, and I refuse to send him in clothes that I bought for him. I told Eric this and told him to go get a shirt to send him to her next week in when he was still in her driveway and he just kind of rolled his eyes at me and got back in the car.

Also, she texted him yesterday saying O has swimmers ear and sent his ear drops with him. She said, "No swimming without earplugs for now." I'mm sure thats what the Dr said, but I hate the way she tells Eric things like, "I'm in charge follow my directions."

She also didn't mention how much the Dr's visit was. We're supposed to split Dr's visits 50/50, but she never tells us when she's taking him and then doesn't tell us how much. Last time she took him for an apparent sinus infection 3 days before he came back to us, and somehow, he had no medicine to bring with him, (arent antibiotics supposed to be 14 days??) and she claimed the Dr visit was $90 but never showed Eric a receipt like he asked.

I just don't get her.

And I HATE that Eric just goes along with stuff all the time just so she doesn't start a fight. And when I voice my opinion, like, "Hey get a shirt to send him back in," he just disregards it.

I hate feeling like I don't matter (it doesnt happen often,) and sometimes... I'm just gonna say it.... sometimes I can't wait to have my own kid that I don't have to share with someone I hate.

There. I vented. I'm sorry if a lot of this comes across as trivial and silly to you more experienced in this situation, but sometimes, the little stuff DOES bother me. I'm still learning.
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  #2  
June 17th, 2012, 06:41 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2010
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I know how you feel! Having a step-child is completely different than having a child of your own! I still struggle with it every day. I have to keep reminding myself that it is about the child and not about the ex. It still isn't easy though.
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  #3  
June 17th, 2012, 06:55 AM
mom2more's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I understand why you are frustrated. Been there, done that with the clothes issue!! It is frustrating. What I did was I ended up going to a local thrift store and garage sales and buying a few outfits that were presentable but cheap. Then if bm didn't return something I didn't care. Before that I would get so upset because she would keep new clothes and even had my stepdaughter coming home without the training bras we bought her! She'd wear them over there and say she couldn't find them when coming home! Those got expensive...I don't buy undergarments second hand! So I started having stepdaughter not wear them over to her mom's house and then she had the nerve to tell stepdaughter that she needed to wear them! LOL So I hid them

As for the medical expenses I would urge hubby to pay when he has receipts in hand. That way he can split what insurance does not cover! Who knows, she may have HMO and only be paying $10 a visit! lol
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  #4  
June 17th, 2012, 08:07 AM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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Yeah, I get it. My advice. Don't sweat the small stuff.
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  #5  
June 17th, 2012, 03:36 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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I'm with Rachel. After 10 years I've learned not to sweat the small stuff. It's very hard at first. I used to stress the clothes we would buy and never see again, the lack of good clothing she would come visit us with, the lack of shoes...you know where I'm going here. Once I learned that this is just how it is at times, it got a lot less stressful for me. Oh but I do agree with not paying any medical bills until you see proof. We had that issue and it turned out that BM had conned DH out of an extra hundred dollar a month for over a year. All because he would just give her the money and never put his foot down when he did ask for proof.
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  #6  
June 17th, 2012, 04:31 PM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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Agreed with the other ladies.

And we never pay her a dime for medical expenses without an original receipt, on our attorney's recommendation (along with the fact that no one trusts her as far as they can throw her).
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  #7  
June 18th, 2012, 03:12 PM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I've learned a lot over the last year and a half in this role.

Venting here helps me to not sweat the small stuff. Joking around with FI also helps.

Yesterday, every time O did an awesome jump in the pool or swam underwater or whatever, Eric and I would joke, "That jump would be so much more awesome if he had swimming lessons."

It helps. We know she's crazy, so we just laugh at it.
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  #8  
June 19th, 2012, 11:36 AM
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I guess I don't get the anti-swimming lesson thing. My dd took swimming lessons way after she could swim. They teach more than just basic swimming. She learned the backstroke, butterfly etc. She really enjoyed it. Her friend is 10 & still takes swimming lessons and she definitely knows how to swim.
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  #9  
June 19th, 2012, 05:30 PM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Our reasoning is why pay 75 dollars for something he knows how to do and does every day that he's with us with his 13 year old cousin. I take them swimming every day.

Also, 2 days prior to her mentioning these swim lessons, she said to us that she'd buy the $20 freeze off stuff to get rid of the molluscum contagiosum on his arm, but with her not working for 8 months last year, money is kind of tight.

So you're willing to spend $36 (her half) on swim lessons but not 10 on a medical need? I went out and bought the freeze off stuff myself.
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  #10  
June 19th, 2012, 07:34 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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being able to swim and knowing how are two different things. I swam, was one course away from being a life guard before a medical problem opted me out. Being able to swim doesn't equip you with the ability to know what to do with yourself in an emergency.

I personally thing every kid should be taught the proper ways to swim, handle themselves in water and have basic first aid skills that go along with it.

*shrug*
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  #11  
June 19th, 2012, 10:54 PM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by plan4fate View Post
being able to swim and knowing how are two different things. I swam, was one course away from being a life guard before a medical problem opted me out. Being able to swim doesn't equip you with the ability to know what to do with yourself in an emergency.

I personally thing every kid should be taught the proper ways to swim, handle themselves in water and have basic first aid skills that go along with it.

*shrug*
These are the exact same classes that he has already been to at age 5. It just didn't seem necessary in our minds when there was so many other things we felt he could have benefited from.
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  #12  
June 20th, 2012, 03:36 PM
ShesaDreamer's Avatar If Only. If Only <3
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B&K's mom did this all the time. So I started going to goodwill and getting them an outfit to wear over there. And told them that I didn't care if it was "dirty" (she makes them change as soon as they get there because she doesn't like the clothes they have over here and still picks out the clothes for her 11 and 9 year old) that they needed to wear the same clothes home. That it didn't matter if they were in dirty clothes for 20 minutes.
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  #13  
June 25th, 2012, 10:31 PM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I sent O in a polo shirt that she gave back to us a few months ago. Eric had bought it for O probably 3 years ago, and it is now too small. It's a 6, he's a 10. It was a bit short, and the sleeves didn't really go down too far, but she claimed "I found one of your shirts for O and it fits still," so she can deal with it, because we'll never put him in it again.
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