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Seriously? *vent/rant warning* also looking for a bit of advice.

Forum: Blended Families


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  • 2 Post By Rachel
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June 25th, 2012, 06:28 PM
ShesaDreamer's Avatar If Only. If Only <3
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In the Wild and Wonderful
Posts: 4,844
Ok so here is some back story. Last August we were getting along really good with BM. No problems at all. So we paid half on a dirt bike for DSS's birthday. The agreement was made that he would be allowed to take it back and forth but that DH would have to pick it up and deliver it because he is the only one with a truck. (stupid I know but like I said we were getting alone really good) Well when we got it it was just after school started. And DSS had to be good and get good grades so that he could ride it. Well he was failing a lot of stuff and acting up in school all the time so he was grounded from the bike for a long time. Then it was winter we never bothered to bring the bike over because he litterally had it for a week before he started getting in trouble or failing tests and classes. Well BM goes to jail for forgery in Feb. When it starts getting warm we ask her BF when we can come get the bike so K can ride it at the house since BM was in jail. He always had an excuse as to why he couldn't get it. Oh it's locked in the shed at L's house (BM's mom) Oh it's raining, He was gonna ride it but it's out of gas. Things like this. We asked all the time. On a weekly basis. until on mothers day he had another excuse but the boys told us that he just didn't want them to bring the bike over because he didn't want DH to "boss him around" Well at that point we had enough we stopped letting them go ever there. Thinking that we would talk to BM when she got out. Well she got out on Tuesday. And Dh talked to her about it and she said that K didn't want to bring the bike to our house, which isn't what he is telling us. ok fine whatever.

So fast forward to Friday. They go to see her. Well when they come back we are talking about the dirt bike and How we are sorry that he can't bring it over and all that and K says well Chop said that if you said anything else about the bike that he was gonna go to jail because he was gonna beat your face in. he seriously said that in front of a 9 and 11 year old about their Father? And then they go on to tell us that they are going to take us back to court so that BM can get custody back. We have had custody since 2005. She has been gone for 3.5 out of the last 6.5 years. She can't afford $50 a month in child support and she just got out of jail and has no job and is a convicted felon so getting a job isn't going to be easy. DH wants me to take the boys to DHHR and have them tell a worker about what the Bf said because that worries us that he said something like that in front of them. He has a voilent past and wasn't allowed around the boys for 4 years because he beat one of them with a stick and then started slamming stuff around and cussing at the CPS worker when she asked about it. TBH we don't want the boys around him if he is threatening DH like that. And I should also add that we have been very lenient(sp?) and have been letting BM have more time that what the court order states. It says 1st 3rd and 5th weekends and split holidays but we have been letting the boys go over whenever they wanted within reason until she went to jail.

What do you girls think we should do?
Me 26

DD A:3 Autism, Global Developmental Delays

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June 26th, 2012, 03:36 AM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Taneytown, MD
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First of all, I wouldn't worry about her getting custody back. There is no way in hell that the court's would move them after 7 years with all that she's done.

I am not sure if there is anything you can do about the thread, but I would call CPS anyway. If he's been in their system before, they might tend to take this more seriously. Good luck!
K.A.T and .Katie. like this.
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June 26th, 2012, 01:06 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2005
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Wow. That doesn't sound like a good environment for the kids to be in. I agree with Rachel, there's no way she'd get custody. I would definitely get any incidents on record.

My 2 miracles: Lucinda & Noah
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June 27th, 2012, 10:59 AM
ShesaDreamer's Avatar If Only. If Only <3
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In the Wild and Wonderful
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Yeah I called yesterday and talked to our old caseworker. She didn't even know that BM had been in jail. She wasn't happy with what he had said and told us that she would document it and that we needed to sit them down and tell them they don't need to be saying things like that in front of the boys and if it keeps up then we have no choice but to report them and open a refferal for emotional abuse. And the worker said that it would be a waste of her money to take us to court to get custody because it's not in the boy's best interest now. They have been with us for 7 years this September. She doesn't suppord BM getting custody back anymore. She did 3 years ago but not now. I just hope that he stops being a jerkoff because he is just hurting the boys.
Me 26

DD A:3 Autism, Global Developmental Delays

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