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I feel sorry for the girls. At least they have you to spend time with them. Maybe a trip out for Icecream or something similar would help with the disappointment.
And as for her. She is slowly but surely making her bed and she will have to lie in it. One day when the girls don't want to see her or talk to her because of all the times she has done this stuff then she will know how it feels.
Being a teenager is hard. And parenting a teenager is hard. I'm convinced R is gonna make DH just stroke right on out. Poor man. I'm sure they'll get it together eventually. As long as she knows her mom cares I'd stay out of it.
Your BD sounds like a decent guy, first of all, and you're lucky for that.
Your DH also sounds like a good guy, and you're very lucky for that as well.
The BM sounds like a complete immature poor excuse for a mother, but whatever. She is making her bed and has to lie in it, like another poster said.
At least the girls are lucky to have a stepmom like you, and someone stable that they know they can count on. It's awesome how much they adore you, that they'd ask for you like that. I would definitely take that as a huge compliment to your parenting abilities. So congrats on that!
Well I'm glad that your Dh didn't get them and that BM did something with them. Both of my DSS's are bad about sunscreen. And if you put vinegar on it it will help a lot or aloe or corn huskers lotion kept in the fridge so it's cold. But you want to mix the aloe with a bit of regular lotion because the aloe dries and shrinks up and it can make your skin feel tight and it hurts. I hope that your DSD feels better soon and that BM starts talking to DSD1.
And your BD really sounds like an awesome guy! I wish more BD's and BM's were like him! Things would be a lot easier if they were!