If I didn't know better...

Banned-lilymagic · #1 July 13th, 2012, 02:06 PM

I'd swear I was dealing with a teenager and not a grown woman!

Ok, so this was BM weekend with the girls, but her assignment ended this week (she works for a temp agency) so she had today off and asked if she could have the girls start this morning through Monday afternoon. We said sure no problem (we were thrilled she was asking for more time with the kids!), we'll drop them off in the morning.

But see, we sort of screwed up. DSD1 had plans to go to a waterpark with her friends and we totally forgot it was this Friday. One of her friends is going to see her dad for the rest of the summer so this was a big deal a teen-land to see her before she left. DH called BM and told her that he screwed up, but no big deal, she'd be done by 5pm and we could have her there by six, if BM wanted to keep her longer to make up for the time that was fine by us. At first BM says ok fine, she's not happy but she'll live with it.

Then BM calls DSD1 last night and reems her out for picking her friends over her family, and how dare she do this, and what an ungreatful brat she is, the kid is in tears. I calm her down while DH goes and talks to BM.

She went on for awhile, complaing, this was all my fault obviously I was encouraging DSD to skip out on time with her mom, ect, ect. Finally DH put his foot down, either DSD would be there on Friday night or she'd be there Saturday morning, which did she want? She said to just bring her Saturday morning as she didn't know where they'd be Friday night.

So this morning, at 6am, we get a call, forget it, DSD isn't welcomed this weekend, she's "punishing" her. DH is too tired to fight, so I go get all the girls up and he goes to tell his daughter her mother doesn't want to see her. I drop the other girls off at BM, and DD goes to BD (it's his weekend with her too).

She called me a half hour ago, can I come get the girls? She actually said "I don't feel like playing mommy this weekend",

. Apparenlty she got invited on a last minute trip to Vegas and picked that over her kids.

So lets review, she threw a hissy fit over her her 13 year old spending time with her friends, but it's ok for a 38 year old to decide she'd rather be with her friends then her kids after building them up for a big exciting weekend. Yeah, that makes total sense.

#2 July 13th, 2012, 02:15 PM

OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously!?!?!? That is just TERRIBLE!!!

ShesaDreamer · #3 July 13th, 2012, 02:34 PM

I feel sorry for the girls. At least they have you to spend time with them. Maybe a trip out for Icecream or something similar would help with the disappointment.

And as for her. She is slowly but surely making her bed and she will have to lie in it. One day when the girls don't want to see her or talk to her because of all the times she has done this stuff then she will know how it feels.

to your girls!

Banned-lilymagic · #4 July 13th, 2012, 02:34 PM

I can't wait to hear what she told the kids. She said they were really entergetic today and it was hard. Well yeah, they're 9 and 6, they're always entergetic. Hyper is their default setting.

I feel bad too because we thought the kids would all be away this weekend, DH and I will both being working tomorrow. Thankfully BD is willing to take the extra girls tomorrow and he says he's gonna plan something fun for them. I think he said something about the science center. He's a very brave man.

K.A.T · #5 July 13th, 2012, 02:37 PM

WOW that's worse my DSD's BM. Our BM has yet to see DSD since we've taken residential custody. But to take the girls and then say to pick them up cause I want to go to Vegas is something else.

Admin-Rachel · #6 July 13th, 2012, 03:05 PM

I'd refuse to pick them up, plain and simple. Neely's ex tried that once and he refused to get them till the end of her visit with them. She never tried it again.

Stepmom2Be · #7 July 13th, 2012, 03:10 PM

Those poor kids. Your mom doesn't WANT you this weekend. How terrible.

I agree with Rachel. She's not "playing mommy." She IS their mother. And they should come before any last minute trips.

Keakie · #8 July 13th, 2012, 04:26 PM

I'm appalled that a grown woman would act that way. I don't even have words.

The poor girl.

My2miracles · #9 July 13th, 2012, 06:47 PM

As a woman who took 5 years & IVF to get pregnant, I just can't fathom women who don't want to be with their children.

Those kids are lucky to have you as their true mother!

Wisey · #10 July 14th, 2012, 06:26 AM

Oh Wow! I do not understand this at all.

gmtejese · #11 July 14th, 2012, 10:23 AM

Oh em gee. She is not considered a mother in my eyes.

I would drop everything I was doing if my children weren't with me, even if it meant only spendin 5 minutes with them!!

This "girl" appalls me. She isn't a woman in my eyes either.

They are so lucky to have you as a step momma

w292737 · #12 July 14th, 2012, 06:44 PM

oh wow

Ember Rose · #13 July 15th, 2012, 09:16 AM

Dude what? Like...seriously?

I wouldn't pick them up unless you think she'd leave them alone with some space cadet. Also your BD? Please buy him a beer from me. Seriously that man is....BRAVE.

Banned-lilymagic · #14 July 17th, 2012, 09:04 AM

So just an update in case anyone is wondering, DH actually refused to get the kids Friday night!!!! I was shocked! Usually he'd go get them, not to help her, but because of the kids. She'd never hurt them, but she'd ignore them, or they'd read that mom was upset with them. He didn't even call her back until he got home Friday, so she missed her window to go with her friends and said she'd keep them until sunday afternoon, as she had an interview monday morning (knowing how temp agencies work, this is probably the truth, they can get you interviews way quick), so she wanted "time to prepare" (yeah, DH says she's alwasy been this way, she needs like hours the day before anything big to "prepare"). So he said sure.

Well saturday she took the kids to the pool in her condo community, and they had a great time. She made them slushies (shaved ice with cherry koolaid), and they watched some movies. But DSD3 got a sunburn. I can't blame BM for this, DSD3 is notorious for saying she put on sunscreen when she didn't, or she'll only do her arms and face. She gets this from her father. Anyways Saturday night DSD3 was crying and finally said she need some "Lily magic" to feel better. That's what the kids call it when I take care of them. So BM brought both girls back, she was gonna take DSD2 back with her, but she crashed out on the couch and we all decided to just leave her be. I actually felt terrible for BM, she looked so lost that she couldn't help her own daughter. I know how I'd feel if DD asked for her dad's girlfriend/wife (if he had one) over me. Aside from that all three seemed happy (BM and the girls), so I guess they had a pretty good time together.

She's still not speaking to DSD1. Which I just think is silly. But I'm not getting invovled. I know me and my mom had some good fights when I was 13, so DH and I are staying out of it. Just reassuring DSD1 that her mom does love her.

And BD only took DD and DSD1 to the science center, so not as terrifying as all four.

Ember Rose · #15 July 17th, 2012, 09:52 AM

Being a teenager is hard. And parenting a teenager is hard. I'm convinced R is gonna make DH just stroke right on out. Poor man.

I'm sure they'll get it together eventually. As long as she knows her mom cares I'd stay out of it.

pickle0313 · #16 July 18th, 2012, 04:23 PM

Your BD sounds like a decent guy, first of all, and you're lucky for that.

Your DH also sounds like a good guy, and you're very lucky for that as well.

The BM sounds like a complete immature poor excuse for a mother, but whatever. She is making her bed and has to lie in it, like another poster said.

At least the girls are lucky to have a stepmom like you, and someone stable that they know they can count on. It's awesome how much they adore you, that they'd ask for you like that. I would definitely take that as a huge compliment to your parenting abilities. So congrats on that!

my3sonsplus1 · #17 July 19th, 2012, 05:45 AM

Sorry you have to deal with that. I don't understand how a mother can go without seeing her kids and then not take the time she does have with them.

ShesaDreamer · #18 July 19th, 2012, 06:32 AM

Well I'm glad that your Dh didn't get them and that BM did something with them. Both of my DSS's are bad about sunscreen. And if you put vinegar on it it will help a lot or aloe or corn huskers lotion kept in the fridge so it's cold. But you want to mix the aloe with a bit of regular lotion because the aloe dries and shrinks up and it can make your skin feel tight and it hurts. I hope that your DSD feels better soon and that BM starts talking to DSD1.

And your BD really sounds like an awesome guy! I wish more BD's and BM's were like him! Things would be a lot easier if they were!