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Excited... it's a step in the right direction, I suppose


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  • 2 Post By Keakie
  • 1 Post By Ember Rose
  • 1 Post By ShesaDreamer

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  #1  
July 24th, 2012, 04:26 PM
gmtejese's Avatar Expecting Number 4 :)
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So everyone here knows I have court next week regarding child custody of Evan. Ryan filed the papers and was seeking to become residential parent while allowing me visitation with our son.

Last week, Ryan and I had a nice conversation regarding Evan. He said we needed to sit down and discuss an agreement that we could take to court for Evans best interest. Well, I thought this was another trick of his so I didn't hold my breath. Four days ago Ryan shows up at my house ready to talk.

We now have an agreement! He said that he was sorry for everything he's done. That he wasn't acting in Evan's best interests with everything that had happened (No duh!) and that he was done trying to fight with me. He realized that he wouldn't win in court and he was afraid with him being overly-agressive with everything that the judge wasn't going to give him visitation at all so he agreed to give me residential parent and allow him visitation. He wants every other weekend and wednesdays and the weeks he doesn't get a weekend then he gets him on Tues, Wed and Thurs from 5-9 *yes, I realize that is a tad late to have a baby out but Ryan works from 8 - 5 during the week, plz don't criticize*

We came to an agreement with Evan's doctor and schooling choices as well.

I'm not letting my guard down though. I still am documenting everything for court. Days when he has Evan and the like. I'm still bringing it all to court with me.

He signed the agreement that I typed up and brought it to me on Sunday. I filed it with the courthouse yesterday and the circuit clerk said that she would send it up to the judge immediately so that he could review it before court.

Now my question is, we didn't come to an agreement regarding child support so I was wondering will the judge automatically put in an order for that or do I have to request it?

We have been talking since then *he actually has Evan right now for visitation* and have decided to bury the past b/c it will only hurt Evan in the long run. No, I will never forget what he tried to do to me and our son but I can forgive him, for Evan's sake. It's not Evan's fault who his father is. I'm hoping this is a start to something better with him. Our son deserves better than us fighting all the time.
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Last edited by gmtejese; July 24th, 2012 at 04:29 PM.
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  #2  
July 24th, 2012, 05:03 PM
.Katie.
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I would give you my take on things but seeing how you blocked me in our FB group because I didn't tell you what you wanted to hear, I won't waste your time.
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  #3  
July 24th, 2012, 05:04 PM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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I would be still be wary - this person has sounded really dangerous in the past and the sudden change feels shady to me. Definitely go with the flow if he's willing to work with you, but I agree with your continuing to document and keep a record of everything just in case the other shoe does in fact drop. You can breathe a sigh of relief when it's all signed by the judge. I hope that for your sake he was being sincere and not manipulative. It would be really wonderful if you could forgive him, have him actually work to better himself for his child and have a functioning co-parenting relationship with you.

I don't know about the child support and how you would go about ensuring that gets taken care of as well so I'll let someone else chime in.

Which day do you go to court?
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  #4  
July 24th, 2012, 05:04 PM
.Katie.
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Wish you luck all the same and hope this is a turning point for you and his dad.
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  #5  
July 24th, 2012, 05:48 PM
ShesaDreamer's Avatar If Only. If Only <3
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I would be wary of the change of heart so soon before court. It could be sincere or not. I hope that he has decided that he needs to cut the crap though because it's not good for you or Evan. And as for child support we had to request it. But at the time ours was a temporary custody order and at the time of the final order it was already in place. So I'm not sure about a custody hearing like this. Good luck in court and KUP on what happens.
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  #6  
July 24th, 2012, 06:04 PM
gmtejese's Avatar Expecting Number 4 :)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keakie View Post
I would be still be wary - this person has sounded really dangerous in the past and the sudden change feels shady to me. Definitely go with the flow if he's willing to work with you, but I agree with your continuing to document and keep a record of everything just in case the other shoe does in fact drop. You can breathe a sigh of relief when it's all signed by the judge. I hope that for your sake he was being sincere and not manipulative. It would be really wonderful if you could forgive him, have him actually work to better himself for his child and have a functioning co-parenting relationship with you.

I don't know about the child support and how you would go about ensuring that gets taken care of as well so I'll let someone else chime in.

Which day do you go to court?
We go to court on Monday at 9a.

Ryan never started any of this until his father started chiming in. That's another story between me and his parents. I LOATHE them and prob always will but they are Evan's grandparents so I have to tolerate them at least.

Once the judge signs off on everything, I will breathe a sigh of relief. My guard is NOT down due to this. I'm excited and hopeful b/c I pray this was a turning point for him and this isn't another of his nasty tricks but I'm going to go along with it. I told him that I filed the agreement with court and he said "Okay, thanks" so idk but my flags are still def up. I'm still bringing everything and everyone I need to court, just to be on the safe side. Lol.

He was the one who petitioned for child support from me so idk how this is going to work now??
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  #7  
July 24th, 2012, 09:37 PM
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You don't have to tolerate grandparents. Kids don't NEED grandparents.
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  #8  
July 25th, 2012, 05:28 AM
ShesaDreamer's Avatar If Only. If Only <3
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sorta. i think that kids need grandparents but NOT like they need parents. After the court date you should not have to deal with them at all. Their visits should come from the time that their son has. BM's Mom tried saying that she wanted all the weekends that BM didn't have the boys. Um NO that would take all the weekends we had with them. Court said that her time needed to come from BM's time that it wasn't our problem.
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  #9  
July 25th, 2012, 08:25 AM
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Usually Child Support and visitation are not related matters, and unless you filed to have the child support issued heard the judge deciding visitaiton will not rule on child support at that hearing, as you have to provide different documentation for that.
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  #10  
July 25th, 2012, 09:30 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by .Katie. View Post
I would give you my take on things but seeing how you blocked me in our FB group because I didn't tell you what you wanted to hear, I won't waste your time.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Keakie View Post
I would be still be wary - this person has sounded really dangerous in the past and the sudden change feels shady to me. Definitely go with the flow if he's willing to work with you, but I agree with your continuing to document and keep a record of everything just in case the other shoe does in fact drop. You can breathe a sigh of relief when it's all signed by the judge. I hope that for your sake he was being sincere and not manipulative. It would be really wonderful if you could forgive him, have him actually work to better himself for his child and have a functioning co-parenting relationship with you.

I don't know about the child support and how you would go about ensuring that gets taken care of as well so I'll let someone else chime in.

Which day do you go to court?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Ember Rose View Post
You don't have to tolerate grandparents. Kids don't NEED grandparents.
Some states do have grandparent visitation laws, but most do not and leave it to the parents to decide who gets to see their kids, giving parents the benefit of doubt. In Maryland a grandparent can get court ordered visitation if there is a clear pattern that visitation has been established and the child desires or would benefit from it. It's difficult, to be sure, but it can be done in certain circumstances.
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  #11  
July 25th, 2012, 04:56 PM
gmtejese's Avatar Expecting Number 4 :)
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Oh, Ryan's parents are a piece of work. When they first found out I was pregnant his mom texted him and told him that "some mistakes can't be undone" and that she was afraid to love Evan b/c "of who his mother is. You broke up with her for a reason, why would you go back?"... We didn't get along in the beginning but after Evan was born she changed into a loving grandma and really has Evan's best interests at heart but I still can't get over the things she said when I was pregnant.

His mother and I have spoke a few times since he signed the agreement and we have decided to put the past behind us and start over. While I don't love her or anything like that, Evan is her flesh and blood and I need to realize that she is going to be part of his life no matter what, especially with Ryan living with them. Blah.

His father is the worst though. He is the one who still wants Ryan to go to court and try to prove me unfit even though his mother and him have told him that it's not going to work, that he is being overly-agressive about the whole situation. This is the man who has called me a sociopath (apparently you can get a degree by watching TLC) and that I deserved to be in jail b/c I wouldnt' let Ryan see Evan for 6 days. Yeah, he's a piece of work. He is also the one who said that they were going to hold me in contempt of court b/c according to Illinois Statutes, I'm REQUIRED to let Ryan see Evan and have him overnight even before the court has entered a visitation order. Can we say idiot??

I haven't even tried to speak to his father. I won't either.
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