Log In Sign Up

*sigh* I don't know what to do with this kid


Forum: Blended Families

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Like Tree5Likes
  • 4 Post By Keakie
  • 1 Post By Rachel

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Blended Families LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
August 1st, 2012, 10:14 AM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Taneytown, MD
Posts: 114,676
Send a message via Yahoo to Rachel
I know it's mostly because he's 13, but I can't help but wonder if he'd break his mother's rules the way he breaks mine.

Sarah and I both had an appointment early this morning with the babies. When we left the house all of the kids were sleeping, so I told my oldest son (James is 21) that he was in charge and left a not for the others:

Earl is in charge.
No leaving the house.
No one gets on the computer till EVERYONE has had breakfast.
I'll be back before lunch.
Call my cell if you need anything.
Love you!

I walk in the door at 10:59 and Will is dressed and appears to have been outside. I didn't say anything, but I walked into the kitchen and his head phones were plugged into the computer, but the monitor was turned off. I asked if he had read my note and he said he had gone out to his friend's house but Clayton called him and told him what the note said so he came home. So I sent him to his room because he was on the computer and Clayton was still eating his breakfast and Daniel had just gotten up and hadn't eaten yet. Upon further investigation, not only was he on the computer, but he was watching Minecraft videos (watching someone else play Minecraft) on Youtube, which his father has forbidden. It's a huge time suck and waste of time and it annoys Neely and we had a long conversation about how he wasn't allowed to do it yesterday, so he tried to be sneaky and watch them when I wasn't paying attention. They don't understand why we don't want them watching the videos, but we have told them over and over again that they may not like it, they may not understand, but they have to obey. We have tried to explain our feelings about it, but they want to argue, so we end up just saying "enough, just do what you're told!".

So I called Will back into the kitchen and I said "you left before reading my note, but Clayton called you and told you what it said so you came home and then decided to get on the computer anyway. And you knew you were wrong because you turned the monitor off when I walked in the house, is that about right?" He responded indignantly, "yes". And I said "then that's why you're grounded for the rest of the week", (which is only till Friday cause they go to their mom's house). So he storms down the hallway and slams his door so I said "make that two weeks" and HE KEPT RUNNING HIS MOUTH!

Now, I know that teens are smart *****, and don't want to live by the rules. I've raised Sarah, I know how difficult she was and mouthy doesn't even begin to describe her, but I SWEAR TO GOD, I may not live through Will's teen years.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
August 1st, 2012, 11:46 AM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Near the land of cream cheese
Posts: 5,335
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachel View Post
Upon further investigation, not only was he on the computer, but he was watching Minecraft videos (watching someone else play Minecraft) on Youtube, which his father has forbidden. It's a huge time suck and waste of time and it annoys Neely and we had a long conversation about how he wasn't allowed to do it yesterday, so he tried to be sneaky and watch them when I wasn't paying attention.
I'm totally about this because we've had this EXACT conversation over the EXACT same videos with my nearly 9 yo dss. He would spend HOURS watching them if we let him. No matter where we go, the first thing he wants to do is hop on the computer and watch freaking Minecraft videos. We're half debating putting a block on YouTube altogether at this point. Seriously - I don't get it with those videos. They're annoying and they often have a lot of language in them (which we aren't super strict on but a line needs to be drawn somewhere and when the 3.5 yo is wandering around innocently dropping f-bombs, well... ).

I'm sorry, Rachel. That does sound like a pretty frustrating morning.
__________________

Thank you to Jaidynsmum for our awesome banner and my fabulous siggie!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
August 1st, 2012, 11:48 AM
stucklikeglue's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: sunny state
Posts: 2,424
Ugh I feel your pain! I have 2 going on 13 and it takes all my will power not to ground them for the rest of the summer. My dsd says to me the other day...: I'm not trying to be rude but could you not let Aiden (my 5 year old son) eat moon pies for breakfast. Those are our shacks. Omg are you serious!!! You are telling me what I can and can feed MY son! I told her if he wants a moon pie for breakfast he can have one. Pft. I wanted to yell are you freaking kidding me! You're 12 and have no right to what my son eats! But I didn't and then informed her dad when he came home. He was not happy. But did not discuss it with her.
__________________




Reply With Quote
  #4  
August 1st, 2012, 12:52 PM
pmdc5286's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: GA
Posts: 1,692
Send a message via AIM to pmdc5286 Send a message via Yahoo to pmdc5286
I feel your pain Rachel! Yesterday Sean's elephant mouth was writing checks his cricket butt could not cash! He got so mouthy with me, I finally popped him on the leg! I was done when he started raising his voice to me. He was lucky he had a friend in the car, or I would not have been so restrained with him! It was the first time since Sean was like 12 that he had anything close to a spanking and he just looked at me with a startled look on his face, but he shut his mouth and did what I told him.

The bad thing about Sean running his mouth is the two younger ones hear it so they think if Bubba does it, they can too! I don't think so!
__________________
Patty

TTC #3, Our first together



Reply With Quote
  #5  
August 1st, 2012, 04:06 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Taneytown, MD
Posts: 114,676
Send a message via Yahoo to Rachel
Quote:
Originally Posted by stucklikeglue View Post
Ugh I feel your pain! I have 2 going on 13 and it takes all my will power not to ground them for the rest of the summer. My dsd says to me the other day...: I'm not trying to be rude but could you not let Aiden (my 5 year old son) eat moon pies for breakfast. Those are our shacks. Omg are you serious!!! You are telling me what I can and can feed MY son! I told her if he wants a moon pie for breakfast he can have one. Pft. I wanted to yell are you freaking kidding me! You're 12 and have no right to what my son eats! But I didn't and then informed her dad when he came home. He was not happy. But did not discuss it with her.
FWIW, I wouldn't let my 5 year old have a moon pie for breakfast. They have absolutely no nutritional value. I don't think it was your DSD's place to confront you about it, but you might want to consider offering something else.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keakie View Post
I'm totally about this because we've had this EXACT conversation over the EXACT same videos with my nearly 9 yo dss. He would spend HOURS watching them if we let him. No matter where we go, the first thing he wants to do is hop on the computer and watch freaking Minecraft videos. We're half debating putting a block on YouTube altogether at this point. Seriously - I don't get it with those videos. They're annoying and they often have a lot of language in them (which we aren't super strict on but a line needs to be drawn somewhere and when the 3.5 yo is wandering around innocently dropping f-bombs, well... ).

I'm sorry, Rachel. That does sound like a pretty frustrating morning.
Yes, I totally didn't even think about the foul language in them since he's mostly using head phones, but yeah. That is also a consideration.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
August 1st, 2012, 05:54 PM
stucklikeglue's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: sunny state
Posts: 2,424
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachel View Post
FWIW, I wouldn't let my 5 year old have a moon pie for breakfast. They have absolutely no nutritional value. I don't think it was your DSD's place to confront you about it, but you might want to consider offering something else .
He usually has cereal but my 7 month old wad up all night crying and coughing from a cold. Poor baby has chest congestion that wont let up. Anyways she was finally alseep and I was trying to get a few more zzzs in before she woke up again so I just said go ahead because I didn't feel like arguing. It was 8 in the morning.
__________________




Reply With Quote
  #7  
August 1st, 2012, 06:17 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,684
Quote:
Originally Posted by stucklikeglue View Post
Ugh I feel your pain! I have 2 going on 13 and it takes all my will power not to ground them for the rest of the summer. My dsd says to me the other day...: I'm not trying to be rude but could you not let Aiden (my 5 year old son) eat moon pies for breakfast. Those are our shacks. Omg are you serious!!! You are telling me what I can and can feed MY son! I told her if he wants a moon pie for breakfast he can have one. Pft. I wanted to yell are you freaking kidding me! You're 12 and have no right to what my son eats! But I didn't and then informed her dad when he came home. He was not happy. But did not discuss it with her.
Kids get territorial about the craziest things. What if it's not there when I get to have it? Someone is taking my stuuuuuuuuuuffffffff! *cue crazy meltdown*

Quote:
Originally Posted by stucklikeglue View Post
He usually has cereal but my 7 month old wad up all night crying and coughing from a cold. Poor baby has chest congestion that wont let up. Anyways she was finally alseep and I was trying to get a few more zzzs in before she woke up again so I just said go ahead because I didn't feel like arguing. It was 8 in the morning.
We tried to break M of the habit of sleeping with someone but early morning when something would wake him up...it was a blessing. Such a blessing. They got him into this thing were if he doesn't eat first thing in the morning the world is gonna end. Some mornings he wouldn't even be hungry, it was just "time" to eat.


Uhm as for this....teenagers are horrible. Horrible. Good luck.
__________________
J Married to D 08.21.2009
Bonus Mama to R (14) and M (7)
Warm up your home with a fabulous warmer and some of our scentsational scents! PM me for details!!!
Reply With Quote
  #8  
August 1st, 2012, 07:40 PM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,136
So frustrating!

I know how you feel. Owen has only been exposed to N64 and the Wii. he has about 10 games for the n64 but only 3 or so for the Wii. But his attention and focus suck when he's playing them and he usually gives me an attitude when I tell him to turn them off.

Our big struggle with him lately though is telling him not to do something and then he does something ALMOST EXACTLY THE SAME but a little bit different. (Dont eat any more fries till u finish ur burger and he licks a french fry,) and then says BUT I DIDNT DO WHAT YOU SAID NOT TO! and giving us attitude when we tell him not to. Ugh. And hes only 7!
__________________
Jennifer - Married to Eric 3.10.13 - Full Time Stepmom to Owen - TTC our first together- 1 year and counting
Reply With Quote
  #9  
August 1st, 2012, 08:01 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,769
I deal with that from DSS, He is SOOOOO addicted to video games it is unreal and it is going to be horrible .
he has a wii, and play station, a gameboy thing(whatever they're called now) and threw a fit because DH had told him he might give him his old xbox, but it needs a new power cord and I said he has plenty of game systems at home, he doesn't need another. he plays DH's xbox ALL DAY LONG. DH see's nothing wrong with it(obviously because he is the same way) but both kids fight over playing the games or watching netflix. and somedays I have to ban the games just so they will go play with their toys.. and when they get grounded from it, all hell breaks loose.. talk about a tantrum.!
__________________






Reply With Quote
  #10  
August 1st, 2012, 10:53 PM
.Katie.
Guest
Posts: n/a
BEAT HIM!!!! Come on Neely!!!

No. But seriously. They have to learn there is a reward/consequence to everything in life. If he seriously can't listen to you trying to reason with him, send him to a dang boot camp where they make you do push ups for an hour for that kind of behavior!
Reply With Quote
  #12  
August 2nd, 2012, 11:03 AM
Baby Boy Coming in March!
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Phoenix-Metro area
Posts: 1,842
I think teen boys are especially hard to deal with. I don't know why but I can attest to this. We were raising my ex-husband's brother for a while, who at the time was in the early teen years (11-13 yrs old)... What a nightmare! I swear if I could just give kids away for their teen years and have them back after they're done being mouthy world-hating teenagers I totally would. Ahhhh the joys of parenting!

Rachel, my mom used to take the cord to the monitor when she left the house and didn't want us on the computer (if it's a desktop). She also used to take internet cables (altho those are a little more easily replaceable if you have multiple computers or if you're on wireless then scratch that idea)... You could always take the cord that connects the monitor to the tower. No monitor = no computer... Just an idea.

Bottom line, they should do what you told them to, but if they are blatantly doing what you asked them not to then I'd definitely take other steps to ensure that they listened.

Sorry you have to deal with a defiant teenager!
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #13  
August 2nd, 2012, 11:22 AM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Near the land of cream cheese
Posts: 5,335
We keep seeing this picture pop up on Facebook and Pinterest:



__________________

Thank you to Jaidynsmum for our awesome banner and my fabulous siggie!
Reply With Quote
  #14  
August 2nd, 2012, 04:19 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Taneytown, MD
Posts: 114,676
Send a message via Yahoo to Rachel
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keakie View Post
We keep seeing this picture pop up on Facebook and Pinterest:



HAHA! I saw this on Facebook recently and was just going to post it and then I scrolled down. I'm so doing this.
Keakie likes this.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
August 2nd, 2012, 08:21 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 13,499
I had to go to extreme measures for similar reasons with my 13 year old dsd. I was going to buy a parental control for the computer, but thankfully our ISP provides one for us. I have so many thing blocked from the main computer and have special blocks on all her electronics that have wifi access. Is there a way you can block things or maybe make stuff password accessible only? I hate having to go that far to get my rules across, but at times it has to be done.
__________________

❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11



Reply With Quote
  #16  
August 6th, 2012, 10:42 AM
mom2more's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,679
I have often hated electronics and my teens mouths!! My son and stepdaughter pop an attitude anytime they are asked to do any chores. Both have been given rules and broken them!!

We don't allow food out of the kitchen or dining room areas. Been our rule FOREVER! For whatever reason when the kids have friends sleepover they disregard it and they have gotten in trouble for it. The other night I wake at 1am because I hear the kids going upstairs very loudly. I go up there and see my teens friend eating our dinner leftovers. I could care less that he was eating them, but my son should have enforced our house rules. So I told his friend the rules and made him go downstairs to eat. Then I told them they had to go to bed for the night since me sleeping meant they could not follow rules!!

My stepdaughter has been caught lying so many times I can't count and then she starts mouthing off and acting like she is going to outsmart us! Drives me crazy. I always tell her that the truth is much better than lies because we will not be as mad. Somehow it has not sunken in yet and she continues to get punished when we catch her in lies.
__________________
Mom2more






Reply With Quote
  #17  
August 8th, 2012, 11:32 AM
Happy Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 21,659
aren' kids fun?

you'll get through this
__________________
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:48 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0