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  #1  
August 12th, 2012, 07:40 PM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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So tonight was the first time we picked up O from his moms new place. Her roommate invited us in, O showed us his room. It was a small connection off the back, like an Arizona room, but it was all walled in and had an a/c unit in it. Hi moms roommate has a 3 year old, who is adorable, and gave me an entire tour of the house, lol.

BM was pleasant. She closed his door and spoke to us about some concerns she has with him. Apparently he's been acting out and bullying the 3 year old. She's not sure if he's just acting out from the move, but she thinks he is ADHD. We'll see how he acts this week here.

Of course she also gave us some things she found during the move. Some belts that we bought him, and a stack of pictures. A stack of pictures of her, Eric, and O together. But YAY I did not overreact. I have seen these pictures before, they were taken the day O was born. She also told me the 3 year old told her she was "So pretty I want to die in her arms." Again, unnecessary, but I prevailed!

She also started crying. Well, tearing up. O was changing into shorts, and I was shielding my eyes, and my engagement ring happened to be facing her (unintentionally,) and as she was looking at me her eyes teared up.

I try to remember that we aren't all made of steel, and that we all have our downfalls. She is not a terrible person. She brought her concerns to us, she let us see where O is now living when he's with her. This is the first Sunday in a long time that I am actually relieved and happy about how things went.

Yay.
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  #2  
August 13th, 2012, 06:44 AM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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Contrary to what pops into most peoples' minds when you say "ADHD", it actually has little to do with attention span and everything to do with impulse control. My oldest dss is diagnosed ADHD (among other things). Unless there's more to it than simply picking on the 3 yo (which is frustrating but IMO fairly normal for an only child, especially one around O's age who is both adjusting to a new living space and who also suddenly has a younger child running around, all up in their space ) I think she might be overreacting on that front. I'm really happy that she came to you and df with her concerns, though!

Yay for not getting upset about the pictures! It feels great when you can have those moments and think, "______ ago, I would have gotten SO upset about that". The 3 yo sounds sweet. I hope that bm can process her own feelings in a way that doesn't hurt O. It sounds like she's making an effort.

Yay for a good weekend!
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  #3  
August 13th, 2012, 07:51 AM
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  #4  
August 13th, 2012, 09:31 AM
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Woot woot!
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  #5  
August 13th, 2012, 10:08 AM
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YAY!

I've never seen many pics of their "before" lives. And none with Reme as a baby since he was in an incubator, so it was always just him, and someone's random hand. LOL
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  #6  
August 13th, 2012, 12:49 PM
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Glad it went well.
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  #7  
August 13th, 2012, 04:43 PM
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Yeah it doesnt help that it was the day he was born and she was wearing LITERALLY a see through tank top. For some reason this woman really wants me to be aware that she has nipples.

I'm sure a lot of his behavior has a lot to do with the move, and a new "sibling" persay. He can't be too thrilled that he sort of has to share his mom with some new kid.

However, some of his behavior is slightly out of the realm of typical 7 year old stuff. Moreso around her because he knows he will get a reaction, often times he will flop onto the ground and start spazzing likea fish out of water. he thinks it funny, she gives him attention when he does it. We ignore. We praise good behavior and discuss why we dont like negative behavior once he changes it.

We'll see what happens as time goes by
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  #8  
August 14th, 2012, 08:07 AM
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Sounds overall like a fairly positive type meeting, that is always good.
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  #9  
August 15th, 2012, 07:59 AM
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that's great.


and if she was like me, the day she pushed out a kid, what she was wearing was the last thing on her mind
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  #10  
August 18th, 2012, 07:37 PM
mom2more's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Glad the day went pretty well. The showing you pictures was a little weird, but yay for you not reacting! I don't think picking on a kid younger than you really points directly to ADHD either. Careful so she doesn't run to the dr. hoping for a magic pill to cure him! I think often times parents are quick to medicate their children, when all they really need is boundaries.
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  #11  
August 19th, 2012, 12:14 PM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by w292737 View Post
that's great.


and if she was like me, the day she pushed out a kid, what she was wearing was the last thing on her mind
haha oh I know. i just think its funny that she felt the need to give those pictures to Eric. And say, "Oh here, give some to your mom too!" And its the 3 of them sitting together. oh well.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2more View Post
Glad the day went pretty well. The showing you pictures was a little weird, but yay for you not reacting! I don't think picking on a kid younger than you really points directly to ADHD either. Careful so she doesn't run to the dr. hoping for a magic pill to cure him! I think often times parents are quick to medicate their children, when all they really need is boundaries.
Oh exactly. This isnt the first time shes played the adhd card. She wanted him on ritalin when he was 5 or 6. We said no when he was 6, that he just needed structure. He does the whole, "Look at me Im spazzing on the ground laughing hysterically flopping around" for attention. We tell him, "Nobody is laughing. stand up and behave yourself." And he does. With her though, she laughs and says, oh youre so silly, which just makes him do it more. And then she looks at us and says, "I dont know how to get him to stop, it must be adhd."
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