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  • 1 Post By Rachel
  • 5 Post By lilymagic

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  #2  
August 21st, 2012, 01:15 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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I'm glad things are going well! I hope the pregnancy news doesn't send her into a tail spin! Good luck and keep us posted!
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  #3  
August 21st, 2012, 01:17 PM
Doodlebug06's Avatar Doodlebug
Join Date: May 2011
Location: US
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Just curious. Why does it matter for her to know your pregnant?
My Exh and his wife didn't tell me. It wasn't a big deal. I'm not caring for the baby so not my concern.
I told them I was pregnant only because I was high risk and I needed my kids step mom to be on alert in case I had to go the hospital and needed her to pick up the kids.
Personally I don't make a big deal to tell them anything.
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  #4  
August 21st, 2012, 01:22 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doodlebug06 View Post
Just curious. Why does it matter for her to know your pregnant?
My Exh and his wife didn't tell me. It wasn't a big deal. I'm not caring for the baby so not my concern.
I told them I was pregnant only because I was high risk and I needed my kids step mom to be on alert in case I had to go the hospital and needed her to pick up the kids.
Personally I don't make a big deal to tell them anything.
for us we took a long time to tell his ex because she would fill the boys heads with crap that we would love the baby more than them and other dumb stuff.
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  #6  
August 21st, 2012, 02:04 PM
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I agree with telling the bio parent. When I was pg with ds, both dh & I told our ex's fairly early on. It's their business because it affects their kids.
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  #7  
August 21st, 2012, 02:31 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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A baby is a new member of the child's family and it affects every child differently.

BM#1 is really mature but if BM#2 hadn't already had a baby with her husband and wasn't pregnant again I think it would have been extremely problematic. We got married before her and her husband did and she went ballistic.
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  #8  
August 21st, 2012, 09:51 PM
Doodlebug06's Avatar Doodlebug
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Yeah I never thought (or assumed) an adult bm would say or do things like that. =\

A baby isn't like a car or house. Not like you can send it back. => so no matter what she thinks or what hissy fit she has, she's not in control of that.
Laws still say we control our uterus in the US. (for now! Lol)

I am trying to recall exactly how I found out exh's wife was preggo. And I honestly think my kids told me. They were excited and said they were having a baby brother or sister. Maybe my ex mil might have mentioned it before that too?
I guess it was so insignificant to me that I don't remember much of it. I congratulated them and was a part of her baby shower. Bought several nice gifts.

The only affect I personally felt their baby had on me was that I had one more kid to include at birthdays and Christmas and other holidays.
We did talk about some baby behavior my dd was having after their baby was born. So I guess she regressed a bit. But I think that's pretty norm for any younger child. I didn't involve myself. They handled it.

Me personally, I never react negatively to ANY BODY who has pregnancy news.
Number one reason is that if god forbid something happen w the pregnancy, I'd look like a jerk for saying things. So hopefully your kids bm will act appropriately and be happy for all of you.

Oh. Oddly enough...when I got pg w jade, dh's ex who is sd9's mom is one of the first 3 people *I* told. Only bc we are actually friends.
She's currently TTC and I'm one of the few to know.
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  #9  
August 21st, 2012, 11:03 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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Hope it goes smoothly this weekend. I'm glad to hear things are smooth now. I'm not sure if and when BM found out about both my pregnancies. With DSD being 5 years older than my first ds we figured she would spill the beans but never did. Once bm found out she told dsd terrible things, even going as far as telling her he wasn't her brother because he wasn't coming from her aka bm. Once DH let her know, she got really upset about it. Started crying and then asked if he was going to marry me, when he said yes, she got even more upset. A few weeks later she started a fight with him, then filed a restraining order against him and filed to remove his parental rights. I'm not sure how she found out this time, but since she's married and in a better place it didn't bother her. Anyways, that's my long winded reasoning as to why I feel the bp's should be told by the other bp over the child. You just never know how they're going to react.
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  #10  
August 22nd, 2012, 10:46 AM
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we were going to wait to tell BM but she called as I was being hospitalized when I was 9 weeks wanting to talk to the kids and he said not right now and she threw a fit and he had to tell her what was going on.. she went NUTS..which we figured she would..
Hopefully you don't have any drama when he tells her.
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