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When we had visitation, yes, it was one extreme to the other. BM hasn't seen DSD since we've gained residential custody. Here she has her siblings to deal with, there she's an only child. Here we have strict rules, there her mom practically pushes her out the door at every chance and lets her do as she wishes. Here we make our kids be independent, there she was babied to the point of her being extremely naive.
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Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11
When dsd was younger it was 1 extreme to the other. Bio mom was uber strict - to the point that the girls couldn't pick out their own clothes or think for themselves. Now that dsd & bio mom is divorced and cavorting around she seems to ignore dsd at lot so she has more freedom.
Well my house is hubby, I, and 4 kids. We also have dogs. We have rules and chores. We make sure homework gets done and tests are studied for. We are not really strict unless the kids mess up. Weekends are pretty relaxed (up late, playing games together, etc.)
My ex lives in an apartment with his girlfriend. She has a son my ds's age and a younger daughter. She shares custody with her ex so her kids are not always there. When my son goes there its pretty much fun time. No rules, no bedtime, no homework, totally unstructured. My ds has this impression if he lived there full-time things would always be that way! lol
My hubby's ex was living with her bf and their 2 kids. Her bf is an alcoholic/drug user and their home was violent. My skids didn't really see her. When they did see her it was also very unstructured and they were lucky to get fed anything but junk food. Now ex lives with her parents (I think she still does anyway). They all live out of state. Her parents have a "normal" home. But since it would require a plane ticket to get there the kids haven't been there often (SD twice in 7 years and SS once).
In some cases it's very similar. In other ways it isn't. He certainly gets away with more while he's at home, and gets more done for him. I'm not going to do everything for him, so we have a lot of yelling going on (him yelling at me)
~TTC #1 together 1 year and counting ~
Battling Estrogen Dominance, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis and Recurrent Miscarriage one day at a time
Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew and Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel and Dee 01/18/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/21/2012@4w1dKonnor 11/24/2012@3w6d"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6dRonen 02/102013@3w5d
Totally different. BM does everything for the boys. Even picks out their clothes. They eat out all weekend (BM doesn't cook) it's just them no other kids. Here they are expected to be as independant as their age allows they have chores, I cook here at home almost everynight and they have their baby sister to deal with. Totally different.
Me 25(Adventure Planner for River Expeditions) DH 41(Dislocated Miner 4 months unemployed )
Parents to 4 awesome kiddos
DSS J: 21 ADHD
DSS K:10 ADHD, Disruptive Behavior Disorder
DD A:3 Autism, Global Developmental Delays
Here Evan is with his brothers and me, that's it. Ryan lives with his parents so there is Ryan, his mother, his father and his elderly grandmother. His father is a professional photographer so there are people in and out of his home all the time.
Here Evan has his own room -- there Evan sleeps outside his fathers room in the basement
Ryan is totally more laid back with Evan than I am. There is structure and routine here for the older boys and Evan has to go along with it too but there Ryan doesn't have a structure or routine for Evan so it throws him off every other weekend.