How similar are your kids homes?

#1 September 12th, 2012, 10:23 AM

How similar are your kids/stepkids other homes to yours?

Are your kids going from one extreme to the other?

Wisey · #2 September 12th, 2012, 10:38 AM

S dad and I have simialiar parenting styles so they are the same in that matter. It's just her dad and her at that house so she gets a lot of one on one time. At my house there is more people!

With K we are more strict and her mom lets her be an adult and have no rules.

K.A.T · #3 September 12th, 2012, 11:49 AM

When we had visitation, yes, it was one extreme to the other. BM hasn't seen DSD since we've gained residential custody. Here she has her siblings to deal with, there she's an only child. Here we have strict rules, there her mom practically pushes her out the door at every chance and lets her do as she wishes. Here we make our kids be independent, there she was babied to the point of her being extremely naive.

My2miracles · #4 September 12th, 2012, 12:23 PM

When dsd was younger it was 1 extreme to the other. Bio mom was uber strict - to the point that the girls couldn't pick out their own clothes or think for themselves. Now that dsd & bio mom is divorced and cavorting around she seems to ignore dsd at lot so she has more freedom.

mom2more · #5 September 12th, 2012, 01:07 PM

Well my house is hubby, I, and 4 kids. We also have dogs. We have rules and chores. We make sure homework gets done and tests are studied for. We are not really strict unless the kids mess up. Weekends are pretty relaxed (up late, playing games together, etc.)

My ex lives in an apartment with his girlfriend. She has a son my ds's age and a younger daughter. She shares custody with her ex so her kids are not always there. When my son goes there its pretty much fun time. No rules, no bedtime, no homework, totally unstructured. My ds has this impression if he lived there full-time things would always be that way! lol

My hubby's ex was living with her bf and their 2 kids. Her bf is an alcoholic/drug user and their home was violent. My skids didn't really see her. When they did see her it was also very unstructured and they were lucky to get fed anything but junk food. Now ex lives with her parents (I think she still does anyway). They all live out of state. Her parents have a "normal" home. But since it would require a plane ticket to get there the kids haven't been there often (SD twice in 7 years and SS once).

plan4fate · #6 September 12th, 2012, 01:27 PM

In some cases it's very similar. In other ways it isn't. He certainly gets away with more while he's at home, and gets more done for him. I'm not going to do everything for him, so we have a lot of yelling going on (him yelling at me)

ShesaDreamer · #7 September 12th, 2012, 05:18 PM

Totally different. BM does everything for the boys. Even picks out their clothes. They eat out all weekend (BM doesn't cook) it's just them no other kids. Here they are expected to be as independant as their age allows they have chores, I cook here at home almost everynight and they have their baby sister to deal with. Totally different.

Admin-Rachel · #8 September 12th, 2012, 06:07 PM

Polar opposites. She lets them set their own bed time, lets them curse, play games that are rated mature. She's all fun and games and we have to be the disciplinarians.

stresswife · #9 September 12th, 2012, 08:26 PM

they have their own rooms at our house, there they still sleep with their mom..
I make them pick up after themselves.. there they don't.
here we have bedtimes, there they don't

gmtejese · #10 September 12th, 2012, 08:30 PM

Here Evan is with his brothers and me, that's it. Ryan lives with his parents so there is Ryan, his mother, his father and his elderly grandmother. His father is a professional photographer so there are people in and out of his home all the time.

Here Evan has his own room -- there Evan sleeps outside his fathers room in the basement

Ryan is totally more laid back with Evan than I am. There is structure and routine here for the older boys and Evan has to go along with it too but there Ryan doesn't have a structure or routine for Evan so it throws him off every other weekend.

Keakie · #11 September 15th, 2012, 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rachel

Polar opposites. She lets them set their own bed time, lets them curse, play games that are rated mature. She's all fun and games and we have to be the disciplinarians.

Yeah, this. The word 'no' doesn't exist at bm's house (unless it interferes with her alone time). It makes it especially hard to try to have rules at our house.